Hard to meet people in Sheffield?

[shnozzer 10]

yes sorry it was a spelling mistake I apologise yes I mean cliquey, I know having friends is not cliquey but as you don't want to make new friends this makes people think that you dont want to let anyone new into the group which is in fact cliquey and I suspect other people will agree with me

 

 

if you have made friends in other parts of the country then I suspect them people are also cliquey, sorry you wont change my mind on this

[tzijlstra 11]

It seems harder to make friends here than other places as less people seem up for doing things outside their comfort zone or meeting people outside their established groups.

Meetup groups seem undersubscribed or tail off compared to say Leeds.

 

Are people here scared of outsiders? Would that be a fair assessment? Or is there something else going on?

 

I genuinely don't know what you are on about. Took us about a week to find all sorts of new friends in Sheffield and we still see each other regularly to this day.

 

If you are struggling to make new friends than maybe you are not meeting the right people?

[999tigger 10]

Joker, liking your work.

 

OP there will ofc be people to meet, just try some new hobbies or interests. Once you break into a new circle of friends its easy going until then it looks a bit barren. It shouldnt be harder.

[aifway 10]

It seems harder to make friends here than other places as less people seem up for doing things outside their comfort zone or meeting people outside their established groups.

Meetup groups seem undersubscribed or tail off compared to say Leeds.

 

Are people here scared of outsiders? Would that be a fair assessment? Or is there something else going on?

 

Dont worry we aren't all like on here! Islam loving hippies! Mayve wideb your search everything is done via social media these day s so maybe have a look for interest groups on twitter and facebook?

[Minimo 59]

It is difficult to make friends. And it is not necessarily the fault of the person who feels isolated. I was involved with a tenants association for about ten years, followed by being a school governor for eight years.

I also joined a local family history society and went to meetings.

 

But somehow I never managed to make friends. I am a very happy, smiley person, interested in others and what they have to say, empathetic if they are troubled. But it was never enough and I never figured out what I was doing wrong. I have given up now and have learned to be happy on my own, but I am old. I feel sorry for younger folk who have the same problem.

 

So yes, sometimes it can be difficult to make new friends.

[Cyclone 10]

yes sorry it was a spelling mistake I apologise yes I mean cliquey, I know having friends is not cliquey but as you don't want to make new friends this makes people think that you dont want to let anyone new into the group which is in fact cliquey and I suspect other people will agree with me

You're entitled to an opinion.

 

I don't have a group or a gang though, and so it's not that I don't want to "let" anyone into the group. There isn't a single group to let or not let someone into.

 

The fact is I have plenty of friends. I will probably make more. I am not on some sort of mission to do so though.

 

 

if you have made friends in other parts of the country then I suspect them people are also cliquey, sorry you wont change my mind on this

 

What do you even mean? Can you explain more clearly what cliquey behaviour would entail?

[chipspice 10]

If you want to meet people in Sheffield, then this forum is the last place I would look, especially on a Friday evening / Saturday morning when everybody is still drunk or hungover.

 

If you judged the good people of Sheffield by the pitifully low standards of good manners, intelligence and decent behaviour displayed by a minority of idiots on here, you'd be forgiven for thinking all Sheffielders are a bunch of right-wing / xenophobic / tax-dodging social misfits.

 

(my bold) that's just Penistone999 isn't it?

[SportsTrophy 10]

Consideration of other peoples comfort zones is of no concern, when its your own comfort zone that requires attention.

 

Have a look at what you want to achieve in 2015 like learn music, painting, a new language, play a new sport, do a charity event. When you have things in common you will meet loads of like-minded people.

[ubermaus 10]

I genuinely don't know what you are on about. Took us about a week to find all sorts of new friends in Sheffield and we still see each other regularly to this day.

 

If you are struggling to make new friends than maybe you are not meeting the right people?

 

I think you could be right. Sometimes it takes an attitude shift to start meeting the right people and get out of old habits.

 

---------- Post added 14-12-2014 at 14:48 ----------

 

Consideration of other peoples comfort zones is of no concern, when its your own comfort zone that requires attention.

 

Have a look at what you want to achieve in 2015 like learn music, painting, a new language, play a new sport, do a charity event. When you have things in common you will meet loads of like-minded people.

 

This is good advice.

 

---------- Post added 14-12-2014 at 14:51 ----------

 

It is difficult to make friends. And it is not necessarily the fault of the person who feels isolated. I was involved with a tenants association for about ten years, followed by being a school governor for eight years.

I also joined a local family history society and went to meetings.

 

But somehow I never managed to make friends. I am a very happy, smiley person, interested in others and what they have to say, empathetic if they are troubled. But it was never enough and I never figured out what I was doing wrong. I have given up now and have learned to be happy on my own, but I am old. I feel sorry for younger folk who have the same problem.

 

So yes, sometimes it can be difficult to make new friends.

 

Tell you what its a shame when you are uber positive and still cant break through that barrier. I'm still pretty young and I can tell you modern life doesnt necessarily make it easy to spend quality time with people.

[MikeDaMouse 10]

Consideration of other peoples comfort zones is of no concern, when its your own comfort zone that requires attention.

 

Have a look at what you want to achieve in 2015 like learn music, painting, a new language, play a new sport, do a charity event. When you have things in common you will meet loads of like-minded people.

 

Really really good for meeting new folk, also you'll tend to find that the people who go are really friendly and nice people.

[ubermaus 10]

Really really good for meeting new folk, also you'll tend to find that the people who go are really friendly and nice people.

 

That charity advice was golden. Something i never even thought of before TBH.

[Janus 28]

Why would someone who has friends go to meeting groups or particularly want to meet new people?

 

I'm (for example) quite happy spending times with the friends that I've already got. I'm not scared of new people, I just have no need to make new friends.

 

Your post makes sense and is very logical. Even if you were in Leeds (as the city being mentioned) it would not really apply to you as you are sorted out socially.

 

I think that maybe what Ubermause is saying or possibly meaning, is “how come the people of Sheffield that are maybe lonely/alone and feel they would like to meet friends don’t seem to want to put the effort in and get out of their comfort zones when there are opportunities like forum meet-ups and other meeting opportunities.

 

I cannot even comment on the difference between people from Sheff and Leeds, and I understand that this was the main point of the OP. If it is true, it is quite a bizarre phenomenon. I got the feeling that Ubermause was/is genuinely interested in finding out why this is.

 

As an aside, if someone is alone (whichever the city) they don’t usually feel the same as people in socially rich environments do, like someone in Cyclone’s situation for example. Most things will seem like more effort. When I`m in a situation surrounded by friends, I fly in respect of the frame of mind.