Daughter not eating her lunch

[prescottspie 10]

My eldest daugther is in year 7 at secondary school. She seems to have settled in well, having made some good friends quite quickly.

 

However, I've been getting increasingly concerned that she has, with alarming regularity, not been eating her lunch (a packed lunch, sandwiches that she insists on making herself so she can have them just how she likes them).

 

My first worry was that she might be becoming too body conscious - she's not fat by any stretch of the word, but isn't a naturally skinny girl. However, she eats perfectly normally in the evening, often asking for seconds at dinner time, and certainly isn't barfing it up afterwards.

 

Every time I talk to her about it, I get the same excuse - "I forgot" - which I find quite hard to believe.

 

What advice would you give a concerned parent? I don't want to make matters worse by telling her off, but I'm worried - there are a whole host of reasons why eating lunch is important.

[lily may 10]

My eldest daugther is in year 7 at secondary school. She seems to have settled in well, having made some good friends quite quickly.

 

However, I've been getting increasingly concerned that she has, with alarming regularity, not been eating her lunch (a packed lunch, sandwiches that she insists on making herself so she can have them just how she likes them).

 

My first worry was that she might be becoming too body conscious - she's not fat by any stretch of the word, but isn't a naturally skinny girl. However, she eats perfectly normally in the evening, often asking for seconds at dinner time, and certainly isn't barfing it up afterwards.

 

Every time I talk to her about it, I get the same excuse - "I forgot" - which I find quite hard to believe.

 

What advice would you give a concerned parent? I don't want to make matters worse by telling her off, but I'm worried - there are a whole host of reasons why eating lunch is important.

 

Sometimes kids don't have the confidence to eat in the dining hall when starting a new school. If she hasn't got a particular friend to sit next to she might be feeling uncomfortable in deciding where to sit. If she has made a friend maybe you could invite her round so your daughter can get to know her better. If this isn't the problem maybe it's just the sheer boisterousness of the dining hall that intimidates her but will get easier has she becomes more confident.

[prescottspie 10]

Thanks, I hadn't considered the overwhelming nature of the dining hall. Thinking about it, I could imagine this being a factor.

 

Sandwiches conveniently "forgotten" again today.

 

I will have a gentle talk with her along the lines you suggest. Cheers.

[rachelg 10]

What do her friends have for lunch? As this could be an issue.....

I was amazed how complicated lunch arrangements were when my daughter started Secondary School - dining hall for hot meals / cafeteria for snacks/ not allowed to eat packed lunch in cafeteria / different year groups going in first for lunch each day etc etc etc....

 

One of my daughter's friends has free school meals and her mum assumed she was having a hot meal each day, but it turned out she virtually didn't eat any lunch for several weeks because all the rest of her friends took packed lunches and went to eat in a particular area, and if she had had her hot lunch she would have been on her own.

 

It might be worth checking with your daughter what her friends do for lunch, as it could be something simple like not wanting to end up on her own if they all do something different. Also - what does she do at lunch time (other than eat)? Is there something so exciting that she doesn't think she has time to stop and eat?

 

Just some thoughts......

[angel22 10]

When I was at school I also used to go without lunch, even though I was starving! I was simply too embarrassed to eat in front of other people. I hated the fact that there were so many people sat around me.

 

I wouldn't worry about anything along the lines of an eating disorder. If this was the case, I think she'd be disposing of her lunch and pretending that she'd eaten it.

 

I think it's more likely to be that she's embarrassed to eat infront of a crowd or as others have said, she's simply a bit intimidated by the environment.