How to cope when those closest to you, think you're a fake..

[*Peaches*]

It has since transpired that my Hubby thinks that my health problems are fake, and that I don't suffer as much as I make out, he may as well have just said I do it for the drugs and called me a junkie and had done with it.

 

I suffer massively with Chronic fatigue, and Fibromyalgia....

[lauras6]

Hi peaches, my mum suffers with fibromyalgia and I know how hard it can be, my dad used to think she was faking it! I think it might be a man thing, then again my dad was a complete arse lol x

[*Peaches*]

He's been to every pain clinic apt, every counselling session, every consultants apt and still doesnt believe me, what more can I do

[lauras6]

I know its not my place to say but he cant really give a stuff about how ur feeling? My dad never really showed affection to my mum, his excuse was its hard seeing you like this. But he didnt believe her anyway! Now if the shoe was on the other foot im guessing ud believe him x

[Halibut]

He's been to every pain clinic apt, every counselling session, every consultants apt and still doesnt believe me, what more can I do

 

Divorce him and find a man who really loves you.

[medusa]

I'm so lucky that my OH understood intellectually about how pain affected me and then had a spell of sciatica that he found really hard to cope with which drove home to him the level of pain in which I live every day. I've also got x-rays and scars and the like which make it easier for people to point their finger at exactly what hurts.

 

I don't know how people who don't have loved ones around them who understand and who WANT to understand cope when in pain, so you have my respect for that.

[wornout53]

I also have fibromyalgia and all I can say is he doesn't deserve you. Take care of number one and stuff him....if he has been with you to appointments etc and is still so ignorant he is not worth it.

[dhs1]

Peaches, I'm with Wornout 53. You might consider altering your location under your user name as currently it's "in wedded bliss". Good luck and best wishes.

[Katylady82]

I completely understand what u are going through peaches, it must be devestating to realise that your partner doesn't believe you and there fore obviously doesnt trust you at your word... Ive had CFS and Fibro Myalgia for 9 years. The sad fact is, its very difficult to understand CFS unless you have it. I used to be a nurse, during my training i attended a clinic where i met a teenager with M.E. and i remember thinking, 'what does she mean she's too tired to go to school!, with no medical evidence she must be putting it on!'.

How i ate my words when i got ill with the same thing 2 years later, the fact is CFS is real and does massively disable peoples lives. There are always going to be doubters, what you need to do to stay sane, is surround yourself with positive people who genuinly care and want to support you. It is a sad fact that CFS can result in partners splitting. My husband was fantastic when i became ill but because he looked after me( i was bedbound for the first year), our relationship changed, he became my carer rather than my husband and it was something as a couple we couldnt come back from (although now divorced we are still very good friends.) I think you really need to assess if your hubby is worth staying with, if he really doesnt believe you, how can he positively support you, not to mention what damage he is doing to your mental health by doubting you. If you want more 'CFS Positive' people in your life, contact the Sheffield ME Group, they have get togethers and a councelling line for moral support if you are feeling rubbish. I am currently in 'relapse' and have been off work since jan, the sheffield ME Group have been very supportive and ive made some great new friends, so definately give it a go. Best of Luck

[Jomie]

You are always going to have problems with either of these conditions because nobody can prove you have or haven't got it/them as there are no definitive tests. It is a case of accepting the sufferer's claim or not. The current benefits system doesn't help because if people do work at getting better, and succeed they lose a lot of money.

 

It's hard being a carer so it is unfair to blame him, especially as you don't know how long this will last. As has been said, marriages break up through the strain of illness and caring. Maybe you should have counselling.