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Wild Strawberries

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Do people really savour

Wild Strawberry yoghurt flavour?

Is a farm-grown one so mild

that you must demand the Wild

and wave away the plain

with withering disdain?

Who will sincerely rejoice

at this decadent customer choice?

 

What self-regarding mimsy fart

can really tell the two apart?

with a palate so refined

he can ascertain each kind,

his dinky little finger raised,

each dainty mouthful damned or praised

with pompous proclamations

on his taste evaluations.

The self indulgent waste of space

I’d like to punch his poncey face.

 

But yet I can’t deny it

- I have yet to try it,

so maybe I’ll compare the two

to find the opposite is true -

and sampling this taste unknown

I’ll find my mind is truly blown!

and Wild aficionados

are really desperados

distanced from society

for preferring this variety -

mavericks who long to be

off with the strawberries roaming free.

 

Perhaps the real scandal

is Wild’s too hot to handle

I may become, so richly fed,

a smacked up junkie yoghurt head!

For those who like their yoghurt rough

want Grade A, uncut, brutal stuff.

It stimulates their shameless lives -

shagging other people’s wives,

raising hell in Vegas bars

and racing stolen supercars.

They scoff at those who choose the tame

as girly, stay-at-home and lame.

It can’t be long before they ban

this yoghurt for the real man.

 

For out there on the endless plains

the last true untamed fruit remains

where hard-nosed guys

with gimlet eyes

stroke the stubble on their chin,

saddle up and bring ‘em in.

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That was mischievous, clever and great fun, Sir_Nigel. I really enjoyed it.

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