Alcoholic Mother

[Moonbird 10]

Whether her own fault or not, and for what ever the reasons that she is where she finds herself now, the Woman is losing her life for her mistake...I feel for anyone in the place that she now finds herself in, I also feel very sorry for her family that might read all of this at some point, I'm sure that they really don't need to see it...

[Boothybabe 10]

Whether her own fault or not, and for what ever the reasons that she is where she finds herself now, the Woman is losing her life for her mistake...I feel for anyone in the place that she now finds herself in, I also feel very sorry for her family that might read all of this at some point, I'm sure that they really don't need to see it...

 

Well said

[ghost rider 10]

I remember seeing her sat with some other alcoholics on London road quite a few years ago drinking cans of beer.Normally i would not take much notice but it had an effect on me because she had a child in a pram with her.I have never forgotten because it bothered me as to how she had ended up like that.I have read some comments on the star website and somebody who went to school with her explains that she had been bullied at school and had lost both her parents at an early age and had suffered an accident which left her with mental problems.I think it is quite sad that nobody was there to help her or guide her and that her partner failed to help her with her alcoholism.A lot of the drunks we see in the street probably have a similar story to tell.A sad story with no happy ending.

[PositivHypno 10]

Addiction in whatever guise is tragic. People who are addicted to a behaviour or a substance are very aware of the effects of their behaviour. The young woman is aware that she is slowly destroying her future and has slowly watched the life that she was proud of, the people she loves become more and more detached from her. The effects sf her addiction has never been enough to break the cycle, nor will any criticism of her behaviour. It will further embed her sense of worthlessness and limit any prospect of change.

Addicts adopt their addictive behaviour because it changes how they feel at the point they do it. Isn't it sad that someone would dedicate all their resources, threaten their contact with their children and slowly and painfully terminate their life becuase they have not discovered nor been taught how to manage thir feelings safely.

I work with people who have stress, anxiety, low self esteem many of which use addictive behaviours to change these feelings. None have said they did not try to break the cycle, most that they are desperate to quit.

Sadly, even with professional help, even with a desire to change. I still get invited to funerals.

Hope you never get addicted to substances, gambling, food, self harm, exercise, risk taking, shopping anger, violence, etc and also that your loved ones remain addiction free.

 

Dave

[millsands 10]

I have read the story in the star and also read some of the comments on here.. I had a neighbour who was an alcoholic and went in rehab a few times.. i used to sit and talk for hours with her about why.. and behind every person there is a story, people take to drink so that they block out things that have happened in their past, the person i talked to had suffered alleged abuse in her childhood along with a couple of other members of her family, but this did not have affect until later on where there was a trigger after a bereavement in the family which then led to 15 years of alcohol abuse.. which i think still goes on to this day.. after 3 stints in rehab.. but in all of those stints i dont think anyone ever addressed the reasons and helped address the issues.. all i want to say really is behind every person there is a story, this story is so sad and and i hope that she ends her life in peace.. and have a thought for her children and her parents

regards

mills

[Mr Bloom 10]

No doubt I'll be shot down for having a different opinion to the rest of you but what an incredibly selfish woman she is.

 

"Beverley had ‘four beautiful children’, now aged six to 15, all of whom have been taken into care because of their mum’s chaotic lifestyle."

 

I mean, there was a thread on here where people were saying they'd go to jail for stealing if it meant their kids didn't go hungry - this woman can't even keep herself sober for them.

 

The only people I feel sorry for are her kids, who are probably all going to have screwed up lives because of their selfish mother.

 

If she was my mother and she couldn't keep a can out of her hand to stop me from going into care I'd know exactly how I'd feel about her.

 

Obviously, not her fault though...it's the Government's for giving her benefits.

 

Silly post. Have you read the comments from the people who actually know the lady and her life story on the Star website? Maybe do so, and then come back and write something less silly.

[whiteowl 54]

Addiction in whatever guise is tragic. People who are addicted to a behaviour or a substance are very aware of the effects of their behaviour. The young woman is aware that she is slowly destroying her future and has slowly watched the life that she was proud of, the people she loves become more and more detached from her. The effects sf her addiction has never been enough to break the cycle, nor will any criticism of her behaviour. It will further embed her sense of worthlessness and limit any prospect of change.

Addicts adopt their addictive behaviour because it changes how they feel at the point they do it. Isn't it sad that someone would dedicate all their resources, threaten their contact with their children and slowly and painfully terminate their life becuase they have not discovered nor been taught how to manage thir feelings safely.

I work with people who have stress, anxiety, low self esteem many of which use addictive behaviours to change these feelings. None have said they did not try to break the cycle, most that they are desperate to quit.

Sadly, even with professional help, even with a desire to change. I still get invited to funerals.

Hope you never get addicted to substances, gambling, food, self harm, exercise, risk taking, shopping anger, violence, etc and also that your loved ones remain addiction free.

 

Dave

 

I have read the story in the star and also read some of the comments on here.. I had a neighbour who was an alcoholic and went in rehab a few times.. i used to sit and talk for hours with her about why.. and behind every person there is a story, people take to drink so that they block out things that have happened in their past, the person i talked to had suffered alleged abuse in her childhood along with a couple of other members of her family, but this did not have affect until later on where there was a trigger after a bereavement in the family which then led to 15 years of alcohol abuse.. which i think still goes on to this day.. after 3 stints in rehab.. but in all of those stints i dont think anyone ever addressed the reasons and helped address the issues.. all i want to say really is behind every person there is a story, this story is so sad and and i hope that she ends her life in peace.. and have a thought for her children and her parents

regards

mills

 

Thank you, you two, for restoring my faith in human nature a little bit. There are so many "I'm alright Jack, pull up the ladder" type people on this forum it saddens me at times.

[*_ash_* 88]

But no one has Alcohol forced down their throats. Drinking is a personal choice .

 

People drink alcohol for different reasons. Most people drink for social reasons*. Some find it helps them with tragic events/early life experience. Of course alcohol isn't forced down their throats, but it's not so simple as one line like you've written.

 

 

*see next post

 

I maybe wrong, but I don't believe people are born alcoholics, they become them due to their own social lifestyle.

 

Other countries seem to cope much better with alcohol than us Brits.

 

Regards

 

Doom

 

Bolds:

 

There is evidence that ethnic groups/races have differing susceptibility to developing alcoholism depending on the length of time that they have had exposure to alcohol (which if you think about it for a moment will be revealed as obvious).

 

To give you the most obvious figures: Jews and Italians have the longest exposure to alcohol, and they have the lowest susceptibility to alcoholism/alcoholism rate (exposure several thousand years, alcoholism rates, lowest of anyone on the planet)

 

American Indians/Eskimos/Aborigines (exposure less than 300 hundred years, and they have the highest susceptibility levels).

 

Of course this data could be argued against, and I would be happy to be convinced otherwise.

[vickytwin1 10]

Thank you, you two, for restoring my faith in human nature a little bit. There are so many "I'm alright Jack, pull up the ladder" type people on this forum it saddens me at times.

 

Well lets all leave this lady to rest and hope that she gets some peace in the afterlife its such a shame its come to this and my thoughts go to the family

[IVAN-Sheff 11]

As someone who's job is to care for those that choose to die at home, AND someone that has lost a sibling to the same thing, I say let her go home.

 

It's so easy to judge alcoholics, am assuming she never sought help for her problems as many don't and didn't realise (like my sibling) how quick the irrepairable damage can be done until it was too late.

 

If she was obese and dying of the health issues associated with that would she be judged so harshly? Yes she wouldn't have lost her children but sadly the drink is all consuming.

 

You are right; people shouldn’t judge this Mum because she’s losing her fight, the battle of addiction can be overwhelming.

[wobblybob50 10]

I used to work with a lad some years ago and he was an alcoholic by the age of about 18/19. He started knocking about with older lads when he was about 13 and they got him drinking on the streets. I met him when he was about 24 and he used to bring 4 cans of beer to work as a stop gap until the pub opened. Over the next couple of years he got worse until one of our managers had a frank heart to heart with him and got medical help. Im happy to say that he stuck to the treatment and the last time I saw him a couple of years ago he was still on the wagon, was married and had a couple of kids. Im pretty sure that if he hadn't been offered medical help he would have been dead long ago.

[Doom 10]

I used to work with a lad some years ago and he was an alcoholic by the age of about 18/19. He started knocking about with older lads when he was about 13 and they got him drinking on the streets. I met him when he was about 24 and he used to bring 4 cans of beer to work as a stop gap until the pub opened. Over the next couple of years he got worse until one of our managers had a frank heart to heart with him and got medical help. Im happy to say that he stuck to the treatment and the last time I saw him a couple of years ago he was still on the wagon, was married and had a couple of kids. Im pretty sure that if he hadn't been offered medical help he would have been dead long ago.

 

I also worked with someone who was an alcoholic.

 

He wasn't the at the same level as the woman mentioned in the article, but he used to shake badly first thing in the Morning and didn't stop shaking until he'd been for his lunchtime pints (usually 3 to 4 hours he'd be gone).

 

He constantly stunk of booze and struggled to walk any distance without becoming breathless.

 

Sadly he's now passed away at a relatively young age and although the death certificate doesn't say alcohol abuse, we all know what ultimately caused his death.

 

The thing is, in his case if he could have his time again I think he'd probably choose the same path, because he enjoyed the social aspect of drinking. I suspect to be cured of alcoholism you've really got to want to get over it.

 

It's very sad to see the decline of an alcoholic.

 

Regards

 

Doom