Depression, can't cope

[Ambz 10]

Pleased to hear it The Mrs. Take it a day at a time :-)

[cherriepie 10]

The Mrs

I have suffered off and on with this curse as I call it for nearly 30 years now, since I had my oldest child so you are not alone believe me. It seems to have subsided with age, I know that's no comfort but maybe I'm just lucky as I haven't had it for a few years and I'm 50 now. I have been where you are. You never know when it will strike and I never want this curse again. Some days I never wanted to wake up and went to bed hoping it would go away. Don't get me wrong I've had my fair share of heartache, worries and problems. I lost both my Grandparents within 6 months of each other about 16years ago. That caused me to have a bout of severe depression. Then my oldest son joined the army at 17, also 5 years ago both my parents died within 9 months of each other, both to Cancer. If it wasn't for my kids and Grandchildren I doubt I would still be here. So you see if I can get through all of this then you can get better. We are here for you and you will get through it. My life used to be boring no thanks to my ex husband(enough about him) Since I divorced I have met a wonderful man who makes me laugh everyday, and we are getting married in August..I am now a stronger person but I still have worries and life is for living, you was put on this earth for a reason:)

[Waldo 96]

I would like to say a huge thankyou to everyone on this post, you have all been so lovely and kind. It's amazing to know that complete strangers have shown so much support and it really has helped. Today I feel a little better and I even got out of bed. Posting like this is not something I have ever done it just proves how low I am. I have been in touch with my GP and they are going to contact the mental health team for me. It's nice to know if I need to talk I can come on here, it's not easy to open up in person. Xx

 

Well done for taking positive steps so far.

 

Do you have days where you don't get out of bed? Maybe it will help you to have more routine and structure in your life. Choose something small, that you can do each day, go for a walk, wash the pots, clean a room, something, anything; and force yourself to do it each and every day. While you're doing the thing, you won't have time to worry so much about other things, and you'll also feel more capable and empowered for having achieved something.

 

Good luck! :-)

[Sam71 10]

I would like to say a huge thankyou to everyone on this post, you have all been so lovely and kind. It's amazing to know that complete strangers have shown so much support and it really has helped. Today I feel a little better and I even got out of bed. Posting like this is not something I have ever done it just proves how low I am. I have been in touch with my GP and they are going to contact the mental health team for me. It's nice to know if I need to talk I can come on here, it's not easy to open up in person. Xx

 

I am glad you have spoken to your GP today and let him/her know how you feel, hopefully they will firmly tell the mental health team that you need help ASAP. Just remember that people are here for you no matter what. And it always makes thing seem even a tiny bit better when you share your feelings and/or fears.

[Vaati 11]

TheMrs - it's a small thing that people can do to help another person. Glad you feel a little better today

[John Hope 10]

Lithium orotate is a natural mineral that can treat conditions like manic depression, ADHD and ADD, bipolar disorder, PTSD and overall stress management.

 

Note: I'm not promoting John Grays personal products you can get Lithium orotate from chemists and health shops everywhere, its just a good informational video for you to watch.

 

http://youtu.be/ijMbycw2boM

[salsafan 10]

Also remember to take time out for yourself too. Be ruthless, and remove things that do not add value to your life. It sound rude and selfish of me to say this, but I have also removed friendships from my younger days too when I realised that I could not longer cope with the drama that a close girly friendship adds to one's life. I'm in my mid-30s now, but I do find that in my mid-20s to now, I am more selfish, and do things which makes me more happier in order to cope with life's busyness.

 

Do something which you like and love everyday, for yourself. As my other girlfriend say, "date yourself" ! Lol... Whether it is putting a nice dress on. Or it is putting make up on. Or if it is skipping and hiding the washing and NOT do them for once. Or if it is to buy iron-free shirts for the kids from M&S and skip on the ironing by making them wear a jumper. It sounds funny, but hey, the cheatsheet is always there. As women, we do tend to please others cos we love them so, but sometimes we also have to look after ourselves too. Or pinch hubby and ask him to do more chores as well.

 

I am not a person that truly believes in the modern day description of psychology. I rather talk to friends, do things, reflect on my own, relate to my feelings, figure out why I feel a certain way. Put it to the back of my mind and then rethink about it later on etc. If something has a hold on you in terms of emotions, then sit it out on a day and reflect, do not fight it. What you will realise is that a gut instinct, or an idea, or a small voice will come out and tell you what you thought of the situation. That is how I cope. I appreciate that we are all different but finding a way that you are happy with is most important to be honest.

 

Also, it is okay to let someone down sometimes too if you have too much to do. I also now do not beat myself up about it and say I must achieve. Cos it is impossible. Just do what is important or to reduce the amount of work needed. I also no longer over promise and use guilt to always say "yes". It is sometimes okay to say "no" too. Remember this.

[Mr Bloom 10]

Lovely to read your most recent post and the noticeable change in your mood. There's no need to suffer alone. Lots of people are routing for you. Really glad to hear you have taken these positive steps for you and your family. XX

[The Mrs 10]

Just to update everyone that has been so kind. My husband has now left me aswell. Just when I thought I would start to feel better and having the courage to seek help again. Feeling very low at the minute and to top it all he has left me and the kids without a penny so got that to sort out. Can things really get any worse???? I guess my depression was too much for him? I'm trying so hard to stay strong for my children but I feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me :-((

[Vaati 11]

I guess marriage vows meant nothing to him. I'm sorry that your husband has decided to leave you. He should pay maintenance for the children. There is help out there relating to benefits, be sure to check with Citizen's advice if you can.

[Anna B 1,401]

Just to update everyone that has been so kind. My husband has now left me aswell. Just when I thought I would start to feel better and having the courage to seek help again. Feeling very low at the minute and to top it all he has left me and the kids without a penny so got that to sort out. Can things really get any worse???? I guess my depression was too much for him? I'm trying so hard to stay strong for my children but I feel like I've had the wind knocked out of me :-((

 

Was your depression too much for him, or could he have partly been the cause of your depression? Either way I am so sorry to hear your news, you must feel as though you've been kicked in the stomach.

 

You must get help to get you through this. See your doctor, talk to a friend or family member, see someone about your financial situation (start with Citizen's advice but you have to make an appointment,) don't forget the church is always there whether you're a church goer or not, phone the Samaritans, some or all of these, but it's important that you know you're not alone.

 

You have to get through this for your kids, even if you sometimes feel like giving up. And you will I promise you. I've been there. But at the moment you need more than kind words so make that appointment today.

 

Please PM me if I can help, or you need a shoulder to cry on.

 

My heartfelt Best Wishes to you.

[Mr Bloom 10]

So sorry to hear this The Mrs. I agree with Anna B's advice, please don't suffer alone, do seek help from any or all of the agencies that have been mentioned. We are all wishing you strength.