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Speed Dating at Yates, City Centre

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Sorry started watching wanted on c4 but decided i might have an early night instead. Its really not very good :(

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Trouble is, I have sleep problems and take a lot to bed with me every night and seem to wake up in the middle of sleep because I have dreamed of ex partners and any good times I had with them.

 

My heart is breaking because I cannot change what has happened in the past and desperately wish I could change things for the better and wish I could have the same sort of feelings for someone else who feels the same as me and who wants a stable and loving relationship and is ready for commitment like me.

 

I get so down because I cannot fix things and have ended up alone with the short straw many times and that I end up miserable because of break ups and separations and desperately wish things would be different and that I would not have to feel this way and be haunted by such things to the point of not wanting to live any more because of the grief of it all.

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Here we go again. You got the best advice last time, and the time before that.

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Not sure what Anglers is talking about, but hey, no change there!

 

Bedrock, I can understand what you are saying but I think you have to make some changes before you can expect to be happy with anyone. I hope you take this in the way it is intended, to help.

 

I am in no way religious but there is a prayer that I think is really useful: "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

 

So everyone has regrets, they have made mistakes, done things or not done things they should have done, its the way it goes. I have so may things in the past I wish I could change but as the prayer says, I recognise that I cant, so I have accepted they are what they are and I try to forgive myself. I know that's not easy either because in good times its not an issue, in the down times it is the only and entire issue that fills your world. Either way, driving yourself crazy going round and round on past mistakes is never going to make you happy, its always going to drag you down. If you cant change or fix it, accept it. You clearly have wisdom, so use it to get yourself back on an even keel and away from the past that you can NEVER EVER change.

 

I have had my share of heart break in recent years and the one piece of useful advice I received was that you have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with another. You have to be in a good place before you can ask someone else to join you I think. Its not fair on the new partner for a start, you should offer them the best of you not the worst. They will get that later anyway so at least start on a high note.

 

Hope you feeling better Bedrock, happy to talk if it helps.

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Very good advice lady, But I often find that when I'm on my own I withdraw. Being with someone I'm happy with brings the best out of me. I find myself doing things I would never see myself doing if I was on my own or even enjoying.

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I don't think I am at my best when I am alone either as you say, being loved and happy brings the best out in me. But I still think if you can be happy in yourself and accept yourself, it will make a new relationship better and hopefully last longer. Also having time alone you find out what are your good and bad points and that will also help you progress on in future. I cannot help but over-think and analyse what I have done wrong or what has really upset me but at least to make it a positive thing, I then try to learn from it and not do it again! If I hurt someone in the past, albeit unintentionally, by knowing what I did and what caused it, I will hope not to do it again to the next person I share time with. It sucks being alone but if you can gain something positive from the experience then its not all completely bad. Besides if you have no choice what else you going to do?!

 

I know this is random but I just heard this and I really like it! What do you think?

 

There you go Anglers...what will you make of my music choice I wonder??

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I know this is random but I just heard this and I really like it! What do you think?

 

There you go Anglers...what will you make of my music choice I wonder??

 

OMG, shocking song, not my kind of music lol. But I do love this song though!

 

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OMG, shocking song, not my kind of music lol. But I do love this song though!

 

 

Oh me too Davey, I have very varied tastes in music, I love allsorts and that's a really great one.

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I watched her x-factor appearance, Now I really can't stand that show because it's often got nothing to do about there ability & everything to do about appearance. But I was just flicking through & she was singing her song from Elton john & I thought wow & was hooked on her music since!

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