Jump to content

Syrup's Joke Thread (Part 9)

Recommended Posts

Why did the blind man fall down a well?

Because he couldn't see that well...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)

The other night, just poured my 8th lockdown whisky of the night. 

 

My wife looks at me & says, "Think it's about time we address the elephant in the room, don't you?" 

 

I said to her, "Shuuuuuuussssh! Jumbo over there can hear you!" 

Edited by Baron99

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've heard mention that the Govt have instructed us to keep 2 metres apart?

 

This is ridiculous.  I now have no gas or electric!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
18 minutes ago, Baron99 said:

I've heard mention that the Govt have instructed us to keep 2 metres apart?

 

This is ridiculous.  I now have no gas or electric!

That's shocking  Mr. B.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Before the virus struck, I used to cough to hide my farts, now i fart to hide my coughs. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was in the  post office today and 2 blokes came running in wearing masks. TOTAL PANIC!

 

Then they said ''This is a robbery'' and we all calmed down.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bloke being shown around a Zoo.

Keeper showed him a French Loaf in one cage and a Tiger Loaf in't other.

Apparently they were Bread in Captivity.

 

(Tony Blackburn - last Saturday morning so don't blame me although it did make me chuckle)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

There's just been a massive Cabinet re-shuffle.  Here are the main players in UK politics:

 

Prime Minister - Dominic Cummings  

Chancellor - Dominic Cummings

Foreign Sec - Dominic Cummings

Home Sec - Dominic Cummings

Education - Dominic Cummings

Defence - Dominic Cummings 

No 10 Cat - Dominic Cummings

 

(I'll not take the credit, it was my brother, Liam.)

Edited by Baron99

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.