poison_pen   10 #37 Posted October 10, 2013 This is bringing out the worst in us ! Bert has won the pools and is giving a barbeque in the garden of his new house to all his old friends after showing them his gold-plated indoor loo, one of whom says, " Hey Bert, haven't you done well, you used to eat in't house and s . . . outside !"  LOLOL remember if your out side peeing sing so they know your in here I remember the IZAL toilet paper too ouchie didn't aff hurt:gag:  ---------- Post added 10-10-2013 at 14:58 ----------  My friend used to have this in her bathroom:  The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was In charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:  Brain......... I should be in charge because I run all body functions. Blood........ I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain. Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain. Legs......... I should be in charge because I take the brain where it Wants to go. Eyes......... I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going. Asshole.....I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.  All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad. To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.  Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.  *MORAL OF THE STORY: NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE.* Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Manxdeedah   10 #38 Posted October 10, 2013 Sportsman on Cambridge Street had tiled graffiti int bogs.  "If Typhoo put the tea in Britain,who put the c**t in Scunthorpe". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
poison_pen   10 #39 Posted October 10, 2013 Sportsman on Cambridge Street had tiled graffiti int bogs. "If Typhoo put the tea in Britain,who put the c**t in Scunthorpe".  omgeee I LOVE IT Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
jwilliamson   10 #40 Posted October 10, 2013 Rotherham art college toilet in the 1960s. 'To be is to do' - Socrates. 'To do is to be' -Satre. 'To do be do be do' - Sinatra. Rotherham was well known for its intellectual sense of humour! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Shogun   10 #41 Posted October 10, 2013 Who was Kilroy anyway... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Steptoad   12 #42 Posted October 10, 2013 Who was Kilroy anyway...  From memory, I believe he was the man who checked the welding on steel panels in a shipyard during either the first or second world war. He wrote "Kilroy was here" on the panels he checked.  I'm sure somebody will correct my "facts", if they're wrong. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Manxdeedah   10 #43 Posted October 10, 2013 "Exit signs are ont way out" was another. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
daffodil123 Â Â 10 #44 Posted October 11, 2013 hark hark the bombs are roaring must be the peas i ate this morning quick quick the lavatory door too late too late it's on the floor. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
flyer   10 #45 Posted October 11, 2013 From memory, I believe he was the man who checked the welding on steel panels in a shipyard during either the first or second world war. He wrote "Kilroy was here" on the panels he checked. I'm sure somebody will correct my "facts", if they're wrong.  It would to be the first world war they was all over the place by the second,Kilroy sounds a little amercan always thought it was a yank ???:confused: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Jim Hardie   527 #46 Posted October 12, 2013 My friend used to have this in her bathroom:  The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was In charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:  Brain......... I should be in charge because I run all body functions. Blood........ I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for the brain. Stomach... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain. Legs......... I should be in charge because I take the brain where it Wants to go. Eyes......... I should be in charge because I let the brain see where it's going. Asshole.....I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.  All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad. To prove his point, the asshole immediately slammed tightly closed and Stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.  Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body Day 6 -The other organs agreed to let the asshole be in charge.  *MORAL OF THE STORY: NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE THAT IS IN CHARGE.*  You have a fantastic memory. Sure it was your friend's bathroom? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Rampent   10 #47 Posted October 12, 2013 hark hark the bombs are roaring must be the peas i ate this morning quick quick the lavatory door too late too late it's on the floor.   Poetry :D Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
rossyrooney   12 #48 Posted October 12, 2013 The painters work is all in vain The ****house poet strikes again  ---------- Post added 12-10-2013 at 18:53 ----------  To the sh*thouse poet When he should die, There should be erected, Broad and high, For his cunning And for his wit, A solid monument made of sh*t.  ---------- Post added 12-10-2013 at 18:55 ----------  Here I sit in dull repose, That fart you left still burns my nose. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...