Do i have mug written across my forehead..

[babyblueeyes 10]

where do i begin it all started off when my mum was living on her own she went into diabetic coma in hospital before discharging her they wasnt keen letting her go back on her own because of the poor state she was in not to mention her house. they asked if i wanted mum to go in a care home or come and live with me what sort of a daughter was i if i sent mum to a care home so i told them i d look after her.

 

the problem is ever since shes moved in with me theres been constance arguments one min she says she ll help me as i help her the next shes against me, like she said she ll help towards utility bills and rent but she hasnt instead shes put me in massive debt with the rent not to mention the phone bill to ring nigeria and she wont pay for it.

 

im the sort of person who likes to keep my flat clean and tidy as where she likes to live in filth and cant be bothered to get a bath when i said id help her i dont ask much of her just that she helps me her daughter like ive helped her ive looked after her put a roof over her head make sure shes fed etc but she doesnt appreciate me or what im doing for her i feel let down by my mum all my life even through childhood and this is the thanx i get.

 

 

i cant take any more im in the state where i have to kick my own mother out or put her in a care home shes 63 before any of you ask and she is mobile and can do things she chooses not to and be lazy. what kind of a person am i if i did that

 

what can i do im the end of my tether

[megalithic 10]

I'd tell her to go forth, she's obviously taking the wee wee, and using your home as a free hotel. At 63 you aren't "old" these days, she's a chancer, show her the door.

 

Also ask yourself this, would you do this to your daughter ? Of course you wouldn't.

[Mr_Squirrel 10]

I agree.

 

Some people will take all the help you can give and will not do anything to help themselves. In those cases (Like your Mum) sometimes the best help you can give them is to force them to help themselves rather than relying on other people to do everything for them.

[babyblueeyes 10]

well thats the only option i have i wont tolerate her threats to me thats the worse thing she can do, but then i cant kick her out on streets my own mother but if i have to then i ll have to i ve had as much as i can take.

[taxman 12]

Here's one way to do it.

[Sierra 22]

I know she's your mother, but that doesn't give her the right to wreck your life. Not every adult child can care for a family member and shouldn't be expected to. IMO, it isn't the place of the hospital staff to tell you you're a rotten daughter if you don't take your mother in. You know her much better than they do!

 

Get some help, get down to social services (or whatever it's called) and request assistance in finding your mum a safe place to live where she will be comfortable. I guarantee that one of two things will happen when she realizes you're serious about her moving out, she will either straighten up (doubtful) or she will lay on the guilt with a trowel.

 

Stand firm. You still love her, she will always be your mum, but the two of you living together is just not working out and for your own sanity, she needs to leave. Best of luck to you.

 

---------- Post added 18-09-2013 at 07:17 ----------

 

Here's one way to do it.

 

:hihi:

[Cyclone 10]

well thats the only option i have i wont tolerate her threats to me thats the worse thing she can do, but then i cant kick her out on streets my own mother but if i have to then i ll have to i ve had as much as i can take.

 

What happened to her previous home?

[The Joker 10]

Why is your mum phoning Nigeria?

[shaznay 10]

What happened to her previous home?

 

what I was thinking

 

to be honest I wouldn't have thought a care home would be the only other option

she could have stayed in her own home with home care surely

and having you to pop round and help with chores etc without being tied 24/7would surely be better for everyone

 

obviously we don't know the full details but i'm sure there are other options than the one you are in now.

You need to be making enquiries asap x

[ALZYMER 10]

Joker, She might come from Nigeria or She's received the news that she's won a million quid in their sweepstakes like I did last week!

[babyblueeyes 10]

I know she's your mother, but that doesn't give her the right to wreck your life. Not every adult child can care for a family member and shouldn't be expected to. IMO, it isn't the place of the hospital staff to tell you you're a rotten daughter if you don't take your mother in. You know her much better than they do!

 

Get some help, get down to social services (or whatever it's called) and request assistance in finding your mum a safe place to live where she will be comfortable. I guarantee that one of two things will happen when she realizes you're serious about her moving out, she will either straighten up (doubtful) or she will lay on the guilt with a trowel.

 

Stand firm. You still love her, she will always be your mum, but the two of you living together is just not working out and for your own sanity, she needs to leave. Best of luck to you.

 

 

thank you and i tend to seek advice today enough is enough cant bear it no more.

 

---------- Post added 18-09-2013 at 09:29 ----------

 

Why is your mum phoning Nigeria?

 

its all a joke to her

 

---------- Post added 18-09-2013 at 09:31 ----------

 

What happened to her previous home?

 

she couldnt take care of herself let alone her own home she kept her home in poor state because she was too lazy to keep it clean and tidy and she wants to do same thing to my flat well no enough is enough.

[GLASGOWOODS 10]

Joker, She might come from Nigeria or She's received the news that she's won a million quid in their sweepstakes like I did last week!

 

I won as well!

 

I sent my bank details and a week after, a million quid was sitting in my bank account..

I'm so happy Going to buy some new shoes and a big car..