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Tell us a Limerick (Part 9)

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Me and Pete are not feeling like twits

That place is really the pits

I feel more like a  t*at

Paying good money for that

At least the food didn't give us the sh*ts

 

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Jane, I love it when your in a funny mood,

Even though you got proper screwed,

You made a gaff,

Now your having a laugh,

Next time go elsewhere for your food.

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I was really done over last night

The prices were one hell of a fright

At least you can laugh

Next time it's a caff

That makes me sound  really tight

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Jane.

 

 Dangerous mix mushy peas and beer,

I bet his farts were quite severe,

Later on in bed with Pete,

Snuggled together under the sheet,

I hope you faced away from his rear !!       🤣

 

 

 

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4 hours ago, francypants said:

Jane.

 

 Dangerous mix mushy peas and beer,

I bet his farts were quite severe,

Later on in bed with Pete,

Snuggled together under the sheet,

I hope you faced away from his rear !!       🤣

 

 

 

Worst part of it Francy is they weren't even mushy peas.  He got about an eighth of a tin of garden peas. 

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Jane, stop being a grumpy old mare,

I don"t know why your going spare,

Iv"e got a tin of peas you can have,

And they won"t make you go to the lav,

Sit back, and relax in your armchair.

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I was promised a kiss,

From the delightful Trish,

I've not got it yet,

And i'm beginning to fret,

Will I ever get my moment of bliss.

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Iv'e achieved a lifelong dream,

Been out with a beauty queen,

Cost me some money,

But what a honey,

Better than strawberry's and cream.

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This morning is frosty and shocking,

Francy, believe me I'm not mocking,

So look after your feet,

And give them a treat,

Go and buy a thermal stocking.

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Pads, nice of you to think of me,

Was icy this morning I do agree,

A thermal stocking would not work,

Think I'd look a bit of a berk,

With only one stocking on ....  see ?

 

 

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February 14th, and not before time,

Theirs someone I want to make mine,

You see Iv'e got the hots,

For a girl in flip flops,

Will she be my Valentine.

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Of course I'll be your Valentine,

We'll meet in town, go out to dine,

You choose the venue,

And I'll choose the menu,

It's so exciting, I'm on cloud nine.

 

 

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