Planning a baby...could I now be pregnant?

[Tasia 10]

Hi to everyone,

 

I must say that I have been following your threads on here and reading all those amazing posts about babies. Before I even start I just wanted to ask people not to post any rude or judgemental comments (unfortunately I have seen too many of those). I believe this website's purpose is to help and support each other. Anyway...

 

I am 23 years old (Female), Me and my partner of 5 years have now started to think about having a baby. I know some people might think it's too early but I just feel that this is the right time.

 

I read posts about how it is like during pregnancy and the actual birth giving but I was wondering if you have any helpful advice about what to do before becoming pregnant and tips that might quicken the process of getting pregnant.

 

I have stopped taking pills, and I want to wait another 6 months for my system to clear before we are going to start trying for baby. I know I should visit doctor and probably get checked to make sure everything is ok with me. But is there anything else I can do i.e. taking vitamins etc?

 

The other two things I want to ask about are: maternity leave, and rough costs of having a baby.

 

With the maternity leave, all I want to know is how it is like when working part time (this is what I do now but I am looking for full time). Can my boss get rid of me when he finds out that I am pregnant or is that against the law? How long do I have to work for the company to get paid when on maternity leave?

 

The next question is about costs: I know it all depends etc. but just wanted to know roughly the prices for prams, beds, car seats etc. Basicaly how much it has cost (like on off cost) when the baby arrived to get all the necessary things for him/her. Obviously I know you have to buy nappies, food, new clothes and toys every now and then. Also, is there a point in buying new pram? are used ones any worse?

 

Please any advise will be much appreciated.

 

Thank to all (hopefully future mum

[Starlet83 10]

Wow where to start?

 

Firstly it would not hurt as soon as you start trying to take Folic Acid. You can get these from any chemist or supermarket. There are alot of mum to be and TTC vitamins but the are not essential.

 

Not sure about the maternity leave when you are part time. That may depend on your employers policies. you may be better looking in your staff handbook. He cannot sack you for having a baby.

 

Whats the cost of having a baby?

 

How long is a piece of string?

 

It totally depends on your budget. My pram was £150 brand new in the sales. (it should have been over £500) You can spend upwards of £1000 on a pram. It all depends on what

you can afford. I have friends who bought second hand and still paid £300/400 for them and they have been really happy with them. Again this is your personal choice and needs to be whatever you are happy with.

 

I suppose the easiest thing for you to do would be to maybe get a list of the esssentials and then have a look online at what you like for example different styles of cot, and prams to get a feel for how much it might cost you with your own taste and preference. Thats the way i did it.

 

good luck!

[Tasia 10]

Wow where to start?

 

Firstly it would not hurt as soon as you start trying to take Folic Acid. You can get these from any chemist or supermarket. There are alot of mum to be and TTC vitamins but the are not essential.

 

Not sure about the maternity leave when you are part time. That may depend on your employers policies. you may be better looking in your staff handbook. He cannot sack you for having a baby.

 

Whats the cost of having a baby?

 

How long is a piece of string?

 

It totally depends on your budget. My pram was £150 brand new in the sales. (it should have been over £500) You can spend upwards of £1000 on a pram. It all depends on what

you can afford. I have friends who bought second hand and still paid £300/400 for them and they have been really happy with them. Again this is your personal choice and needs to be whatever you are happy with.

 

I suppose the easiest thing for you to do would be to maybe get a list of the esssentials and then have a look online at what you like for example different styles of cot, and prams to get a feel for how much it might cost you with your own taste and preference. Thats the way i did it.

 

good luck!

 

Thank you Starlet

[SpeedDemon 10]

Great post from starlet. Nothing to add to that really except good luck, and enjoy trying

[twibstix 10]

I haunt charity shops as I find it wasteful buying everything new when baby clothes don't get much wear plus, now she's started outgrowing things I'm going to be selling them on. We bought a travel system, Moses basket and swinging crib from on here and the changing table came out of the paper.

 

Maternity leave is 39 weeks paid with the option of a further unpaid period meaning if you can afford it you can take a year off work, your employer MUST keep your position open for you to return to.

 

I took pregnacare conception when trying and am still taking this now. I don't know how much exercise you get but get as fit as you possibly can before becoming pregnant and keep up some level of regime for as long as you are safely able when you are pregnant, it will help you.

 

Formula costs about £8 a tin and our daughter uses one a week so that could work out to be as much as £40 per month. Bottles are about £8 each and we have 7. We bought a sterilizer from here too.

[bluecanary 13]

Hi Tasia,

 

Welcome to the parenting forum. I think you'll find everyone pretty helpful and not prone to the slanging matches that seem to happen in some of the other sections!

 

My first advise would be to talk to friends with babies and find out what you REALLY need, not what the magazines say you need. Essentials are a pram/pushchair and a car seat if you drive (you might want to consider a travel system). These can cost anything from a couple of hundred to >£1k new, but are much cheaper second hand (be careful of second hand car seats, though). Other essentials are a cot/moses basket (OK second hand, but get a new mattress - around £20 for a Moses basket one), clothes (fine second hand - they're not in them for long). Remember, you'll probably be bought loads of clothes anyway. Bottles are cheap, formula allow around £10 a week, but breastfeeding is free! Nappies vary depending on the brand, or you can try washable ones (see the other threads on here).

 

Your employer CANNOT sack you for getting pregnant and your maternity leave rights depend on how long you have worked there.

 

Good luck - let us know how you get on!

[Tasia 10]

Thanks to all replies so far I do appreciate all of them.

 

I forgot to ask one more thing. I have been reading and also been told that sometimes it is very hard to get pregnant after taking contraception pills for a long time when you stop taking them. Some people say different - that it is extremly easy to get pregnant. I just wanted to ask if any of you stopped taking pills and then got pregnant straight away or did you have to wait/ if so how long? I know it's all down to individual but just wanted to see and know what to expect, that's all. I have gone absolutely mad about babies I can talk about it all the time...my friend just had a baby two weeks ago and I just love him he's so adorable (and obviously I know I will have my baby 24h a day not for couple of hours and it is hard work but I am sooo prepared for this! ) and I know I have to wait a bit more but when we do start trying I just don't want to panic if it doesn't work for couple of months, I have heard some people try for years...and I don't want to wait that long, although I do have time..but I guess that when your mind is set on something you just want it sooner rather than later.

Edited January 8, 2013 by Tasia
misspelling

[Kaye2812 10]

I was on the pill for 14 years before deciding to get pregnant. I went to see the doc first and all he said was to wait one full cycle before trying. I fell pregnant 4 months after coming off (so 3 months after starting to try), but only because it took me that long to figure out my cycles which were VERY long! You would think it is easy to get pregnant but there is actually only a short window in each cycle when you are able to! Roughly 2 weeks before the 1st day of your period is the optimum time.

 

This weblink will give you more info on maternity pay:

 

https://www.gov.uk/statutory-maternity-pay/what-youll-get

 

After the baby is here you will get child benefit (provided you or hubby aren't earning more than £50k-£60k). This will cover the cost of milk and nappies at first.

 

Don't worry about getting pregnant as anxiety is one of the main causes of infertility. Just enjoy the baby making stage, as afterwards there won't be much time for that! lol

[Tasia 10]

Hi All,

 

Thank you for replies so far. They are all very helpful.

 

I have another question. It is with regards to see a gyneacologist.

As I go back to my country pretty much every year, I go and see doctor there to get checked and I have never been checked by gynaecologist in England. Now I have spoken to few of my friends and they have said that GP is qualified to do the checks ' there'. Anyway, they have always been examined by their GP. What I wanted to know is that : is it always the case? or does it depend on GP. I use Dr Revil in Lowedges by the way. And I am going to see him on Thursday to say I have stopped taking pills and that I will be trying for a baby, I wanted to ask for referral to gyneacologist to make sure everything is ok (I don't know when I am going to visit my home country plus I live here and planning to stay here forever so getting to know doctors is a good idea). Please any info will be appreciated.

[Kaye2812 10]

The doctor will only refer you to a gynaecologist if you are having problems. You have to have been trying for a year unsuccessfully, or have had problems with recurrent miscarriages (referral usually after the 3rd miscarriage) or having some other problems. If you want to be seen before this then you will have to go private (i.e pay for it yourself). Or if you can get it free back in your home country then that could be another option for you perhaps.

 

A couple of years ago we found out that my sister-in-law was having fertility problems. We knew that my father-in-law had also had problems too. Because of this my husband asked the doctor if he could get checked out as well even though we hadn't started trying at that point as we didn't want to leave it too late if we were also going to have problems. The doc said no and to come back after we had been trying for at least a year. Luckily it only took us a couple of months. A friend of mine also got told by her doc after her 2nd miscarriage that he would refer her if she had another.

 

When you get pregnant you will see only a midwife through your pregnancy. Basically unless you have problems you won't see a gynaecologist. But this shouldn't be a problem, many women give birth every year perfectly fine in this system, so you really shouldn't worry.

[remyrobson 10]

Whilst you are waiting to try to conceive you could start charting your basal body temperature each morning so you have a rough idea of when you ovulate. Google bbt charting to conceive and you should get some Info. We got most of our baby clothes from ebay. Many were never worn and a fraction of full price. Good luck!

[Fiona1985 10]

Thanks to all replies so far I do appreciate all of them.

 

I forgot to ask one more thing. I have been reading and also been told that sometimes it is very hard to get pregnant after taking contraception pills for a long time when you stop taking them. Some people say different - that it is extremly easy to get pregnant. I just wanted to ask if any of you stopped taking pills and then got pregnant straight away or did you have to wait/ if so how long? I know it's all down to individual but just wanted to see and know what to expect, that's all. I have gone absolutely mad about babies I can talk about it all the time...my friend just had a baby two weeks ago and I just love him he's so adorable (and obviously I know I will have my baby 24h a day not for couple of hours and it is hard work but I am sooo prepared for this! ) and I know I have to wait a bit more but when we do start trying I just don't want to panic if it doesn't work for couple of months, I have heard some people try for years...and I don't want to wait that long, although I do have time..but I guess that when your mind is set on something you just want it sooner rather than later.

 

Hi Tasia

 

Just wanted to say good luck with trying for a baby.

 

I had also read that it could take a long time after coming off the pill, but everyone is different and this wasn't the case for me. I would say try not to worry, relax and believe it will happen. I came off the pill in November last year. We held off trying in December as I wanted to wait one cycle and everything seemed okay. We then conceived pretty much straight away. I am now 5 weeks pregnant with my first child! So it can happen very quickly for some.

 

I am taking folic acid at the moment as it's very important for the development of the baby and can help prevent things like spina bifida. I am about to book my first appointment at the doctors so she can check everything is okay.

 

We have been pricing up some baby stuff and it all depends on where you get it from. Some of the prices on Amazon seem quite good for things like travel systems and moses baskets. There is also a sale on at Mamas and Papas at the moment with 50% off some stuff so always look out for sales. :-)

 

Costs of feeding the baby will depend on whether you breast feed or not. I am still deciding if I am going to give it a go.

 

Take care and have fun. xx