Freemason's sacrificial altar of death found in my Crookes cellar .. Help!

[stingray-man 10]

Aaaaannnd ... here it is! The Freemason's Sacrificial Trowel! (shown in direction of arrow, for visually impaired). As you can see, it's nearly as long as a convenient ruler!

Once again, I managed to utilise a piece of string and lift the trowel through the floorboards, to the relative safety of the kitchen.

As you can see, it's obviously very old and looking a little worse for wear after so many sacrifices.

I'm gonna get my fingerprint guys onto it to see if we can identify the Lord Master. All you Freemasons out there ... take note.

 

As well as comments from yourselves, I'm sending a copy of the photo to Dan Brown (Leading authority on stuff like this), to see what light he can shed.

 

when your finished with the trowel can i have it ? (broke the handle on my other one ) i promise i am not going to sacrifice anything with it

[stingray-man 10]

How has this thread got over 4,000 views in the Sheffield discussions? it should've been booted into the I'm bored section ages ago. Perhaps the OP and the mods are all Masons.

 

because less boring people than you have been reading and posting on here

[mort 10]

Aaaaannnd ... here it is! The Freemason's Sacrificial Trowel! (shown in direction of arrow, for visually impaired). As you can see, it's nearly as long as a convenient ruler!

Once again, I managed to utilise a piece of string and lift the trowel through the floorboards, to the relative safety of the kitchen.

As you can see, it's obviously very old and looking a little worse for wear after so many sacrifices.

I'm gonna get my fingerprint guys onto it to see if we can identify the Lord Master. All you Freemasons out there ... take note.

 

As well as comments from yourselves, I'm sending a copy of the photo to Dan Brown (Leading authority on stuff like this), to see what light he can shed.

 

 

 

Oh dear I think I have to give you some worrying news. That looks to me to be not as first suspected a Freemason's sacrificial trowel but instead one that may well have belonged to an archaeologist. As you know archaeologists are famed for having very well maintained trowels and although that particular specimen looks a bit past it's best so would you if you'd been buried in a cellar for a while. Is it possible that you may have found a hint to the fate of the famed Lost Expedition?

[Hots on 10]

because less boring people than you have been reading and posting on here

 

Someone else will think they're funny too and do their own daft thread on the main boards, then someone else, then someone else, and eventually people will get sick of it; this is why the I'm bored section was created.

[RootsBooster 24]

I have viewed your photos and must say that is some very compelling evidence you have gathered. I'm usually sceptical about such matters but I think you clearly have something here.

Have you contacted the Freemasons and asked them if they have an altar missing?

[Alcoblog 10]

Oh dear I think I have to give you some worrying news. That looks to me to be not as first suspected a Freemason's sacrificial trowel but instead one that may well have belonged to an archaeologist. As you know archaeologists are famed for having very well maintained trowels and although that particular specimen looks a bit past it's best so would you if you'd been buried in a cellar for a while. Is it possible that you may have found a hint to the fate of the famed Lost Expedition?

 

Erm ... don't think it's anything to do with that.

Antarctica's a bit further south of the Bolehills and I doubt very much that Sir Ernest Shackleton's been anywhere near Crookes ... let alone my cellar!

 

I know he got lost on an ice-floe in 1914, but even if a bit had snapped off and floated up to Sheffield, it would have had a bit of a problem floating up the hill from the Don to my cellar. Can't see what he'd need a trowel for either ... unless he was using it as a paddle?

[Alcoblog 10]

I have viewed your photos and must say that is some very compelling evidence you have gathered. I'm usually sceptical about such matters but I think you clearly have something here.

Have you contacted the Freemasons and asked them if they have an altar missing?

 

Do you have the 'Grand Master's' phone number?

[mort 10]

I'm not talking about Shackleton, I'm talking about the late lamented Sir Mortimer Wheeler and the expedition he sent off to look for various 'fabled relics'. They went off in the summer of 1926 and were never seen again. Rumours were rife that they later turned up in mesopotamia in 1952, somewhat bewildered as they'd been heading for Maiden Castle, but these were unconfirmed.

[big_g 10]

I am indebted to you, Alcoblog, for shedding light on a mystery that has been irking me for many years. You see, some 18 years ago, my good lady & I were in the house-hunting market, and visited a residential property just off Crookes for a viewing. All was going well, until we requested that they show us their cellar.

 

"Aaah," was the response; "Can't do that, I'm afraid".

 

"May we ask why?" we enquired.

 

"We filled it with concrete a couple of years ago."

 

We didn't feel it appropriate to engage the householders in the whys and wherefores of said back-filling, made our excuses, and departed forthwith.

 

Their reasoning is now clear; they were heartily frustrated with the constant comings and goings via the Crookes tunnel network, no doubt plagued with nocturnal visits from veritable hordes of Masons, Illuminati, Merovingians, Knights Templar and members of the Priory of Sion, who were no doubt emanating from the now defunct Trattoria Sorrento ("What DID happen there?", I ponder). Discombobulated by one too many a morn of coming down to find the legs of trousers on the drier rolled up, squares set on the fridge door, and circles compassed on the Artex (hastily painted over before our arrival, of course), they resorted to the services of Coecrete, or one of the many other noble orders of cult-busters.

 

This would, of course, explain the cement bags in your Lodge- a previous owner was clearly preparing to effect the same remedy, only to meet some unimaginable fate, no doubt involving the portentous "Trowel of Traitors", before they were able to seal off ingress to the bunch of cults for ever.

 

It's a rum do, i'n't it?

 

I am an expert on these matters having read all of Dan Brown's books. I am wondering whether the above mentioned house and AB's house form two of the three corners of a triangle. If we know the distance between AB's house and the house mentioned above then we may be able to find the third corner. Who knows what could be at the centre point of the triangle.

 

Actually, I've heard that Dan Brown's writing a new book. He's based his books in Washington, Paris, Seville and Vatican City. I reckon Crookes will be the perfect location for his next book.

[Alcoblog 10]

I'm not talking about Shackleton, I'm talking about the late lamented Sir Mortimer Wheeler and the expedition he sent off to look for various 'fabled relics'. They went off in the summer of 1926 and were never seen again. Rumours were rife that they later turned up in mesopotamia in 1952, somewhat bewildered as they'd been heading for Maiden Castle, but these were unconfirmed.

 

Ooh! ... you may have hit on something there!

 

I thought the cement bag said 'MORTAR' on it, but it's so badly damaged (got kicked), it may actually say 'MORTIMER'. The 'Blue Circle' pictogram could easily be seen to mean 'Wheeler'!

 

Do you know if Mesopotamia's particularly famed for tattoo studios?

[denlin 12]

go and boil your head, you mardy little git,

 

sorry mods can you remove people like this from the forum as they just like to waste posts by writing crap because they have nothing better to do with their sad little lives.

 

i would rather read alco's posts every day than read one of yours

 

I'm with you Stingray - I for one am glad AB's back and those who can't see the humour need a sense of humour injection. This forum wuld be a sadder place without AB:D:D

[denlin 12]

Ooh! ... you may have hit on something there!

 

I thought the cement bag said 'MORTAR' on it, but it's so badly damaged (got kicked), it may actually say 'MORTIMER'. The 'Blue Circle' pictogram could easily be seen to mean 'Wheeler'!

 

Do you know if Mesopotamia's particularly famed for tattoo studios?

 

Think that's Manor Park AB:hihi: