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Richard the Third

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I don’t know if anyone’s heard

but they’ve just dug up Richard the Third

Discovered, along with his jester,

under a car park in Leicester.

A murderous villain , we judge

with a hump and a limp and a grudge.

He may or may not have been bad

(it was a terrible press that he had)

but he plotted his way to the crown

and in battle was swiftly brought down.

They found a large wound to his head

and an arrow still in him they said.

They’re now thinking more of a lump

than that silly, unwieldy hump.

And they’ve taken his DNA

so they might re-create him one day

to machinate who he’d now put

head first in a malmsey butt

or to prove, in some sciencey way

that he wasn’t as bad as they say.

 

The search isn’t over of course

‘cos they’ve still gotta look for his horse.

 

 

 

I admit, and I’m sure you know why,

that dead jester part was a lie.

I’m a poet but rather a weary ‘un

but you gotta admit – it’s Shakespearean.

Edited by Sir_Nigel
revised slightly

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I don’t know if anyone’s heard

but they’ve just dug up Richard the Third

Discovered, along with his jester,

under a car park in Leicester.

He may or may not have been bad

(it was a terrble press that he had)

but he plotted his way to the crown

and in battle was swiftly brought down.

They found a large wound to his head

and an arrow still in him they said.

No hump – for his shoulders looked fine

but he had something wrong with his spine

His infamous story would last

though he made the dogs bark as he passed.

The search isn’t over of course

‘cos they’ve still gotta look for his horse.

 

 

I admit, and I’m sure you know why,

that dead jester part was a lie.

I’m a poet but rather a weary ‘un

but you gotta admit – it’s Shakespearean.

 

Excellent, Sir Nigel. Really on the ball.

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A username like Sir Nigel, and a poem called Richard The Third . . . you've got something going here, great stuff! Good humour as well

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4 people in Sheffield says it all! To say I am disgusted says it all! No slur on the 4 of course!

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