Legal Question - Family Feud

[FatDave]

Backstory:

A few years ago my grandfather died. He lived with us and I saw him every day of my life. I held him as he passed.

My mother was the executor of his will, but there were a few things that weren't specified, and were distributed amongst the family. I was given a wallet with his initials on. Inside it had a few photos and a letter he had written to his friend during the war detailing his intended marriage to my grandmother.

 

There is currently a family feud in process between me and two cousins. I won't bore you with the details because they're so barmy you would think I was lying to make myself look blame free. My mother gave the wallet to one of the cousins last year andsince then the feud started and now she is refusing to give it back. The cousin says that she was given it to keep, my mother says that she gave her it because she needed something that belonged to my grandad to take to a spiritualist church, and so she gave her the wallet (I left the wallet in my mother's care when I left home as I was just a kid really and didn't want it to get lost or damaged), telling her that she might as well keep it at her house.

 

As this is the only thing I have left of him, I feel very strongly. Does anybody know where I stand legaly?

 

I intend to go for a consultation with a soliciter on Friday (my next day off) but don't want to wait until then and would like to avoid the premium rate solicitor number if possible.

[muddycoffee]

I would strongly advise you to forget about the wallet. What you have that is more important are memories of your grandad. Belongings can be lost, damaged or fought over and it is an utter, pointless waste of time.

 

What are doing by having a dispute between grandchildren is not what your grandfather would have wanted. If you make up with your cousins, let the wallet go and think how happy your grandfather would be about that, should give you some comfort.

[shane39]

My brother took my grandfathers war medals without permission from my mums house.

The medals were promised to me by my mother (as i was always the one interested in the military) I have dropped hints on several occasions to my bro to take them back. At the moment it's not worth falling out over them,but i will at some point in the future stake my claim to them.

[Oldtrout]

I agree with Muddycoffee. You should just let it go, however hard it is, and you must try to be happy about it otherwise you'll all end up bitter for the rest of your lives.

 

Your memories of him, and the closeness you shared with your granddad are far more precious. You don't need material things of his. Maybe your cousins have some guilt and need something of his to make them feel better in which case just let them keep it, and look at it when you visit them.

[Mummytwo]

I'm not sure I agree with other posters. Of course memories are important but it could also be nice to keep a possession, especially as your cousin was only borrowing it.

 

Inform your cousin of your intentions, it may tempt her to return it to avoid the fuss. Although if it wasn't written in the will that, that specific thing was to go to you I'm not sure where you would stand.

[RootsBooster]

On one hand, it is definitely the memories that are more important than material objects, but (on the same hand really) material objects can often help enhance memories.

With family it's never easy, legally I have no idea where you stand. It's possibly classed as theft by your mother and receiving stolen goods by your cousin. Of course, you'd have to prove it was yours in the first place. You'd also have to consider the possible consequences of such legal action.

It's easy to say "live and let live" but that may or may not lead to a build up of resent over the years. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.