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just go on this on or there is a link called can u plz help me to get my book reviewed

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Write a book? How long is it since you were colouring them or better still eating them? Not long enough by the effort on here.

 

wht do u mean by tht

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Is the book in english or gibberish.

 

its in english

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just to let u all know tht this is a short novel of love story called together forever

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Hello aishashoro,

I think that a few people here have been harsh with their comments, but the reason is because your novel has no body to it. Let me explain, if you are inspired by works such as Jacqueline Wilson, then you should have a fair idea of how long a chapter should be, the paragraphs per chapter and the way that the chapters read. Things in a book should not be written in the simplest of terms, you should tell a story the same way as you would speak to your best friend. For instance, you have used SHEFFIELD as the setting for your book, which is a well known place in Britain, but it is NOT a seaside town or city. There is very little description to help people understand what it is like in SHEFFIELD.

 

Your story holds no bounds for imagination, you are narrating the characters, rather than letting them speak in their own way. When you are at school, listen to how people talk to each other in the school yard, listen to how your teacher speaks to you and other students, while at home listen to people around you. The more you listen and hear the conversation, the emotion, the tone and the way that people speak in general, then you can build your characters.

 

Use an advancement on this and it could make for an interesting read, if this is your first attempt, then I think for your age, you have done a pretty good job, not perfect, by no means, but I am not perfect either. You need encouragement and help to make this novel work, hard work and enthusiasm and not the same thing, but if you have both of these qualities, you will do it, I am sure. Keep writing and work on this more, feel your characters, read the story out loud, let your English teacher read it as extra work and more than anything NEVER GIVE UP!!!

 

I am pretty sure that there are 12 year old children out there, that would not even attempt such a huge task. So, be proud that you did, hold your head high and say that you had a go. If anyone laughs at the fact that you tried this, I would think they are jealous. If you would like me to explain anything further just leave a comment on here, or send me a private message/email and I will be happy to help you. Take care.

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When you are at school, listen to how people talk to each other in the school yard, listen to how your teacher speaks to you and other students, while at home listen to people around you. The more you listen and hear the conversation, the emotion, the tone and the way that people speak in general, then you can build your characters.

 

 

Are there any fellow pupils who do impressions of your teachers? What phrases do the teachers over use? Watch for people's mannerisms. I remember one teacher who always seemed to be glancing down at her feet.

 

One other point I would make; You may want to change a few names so that no two names begin with the same letter.

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Hello aishashoro,

I think that a few people here have been harsh with their comments, but the reason is because your novel has no body to it. Let me explain, if you are inspired by works such as Jacqueline Wilson, then you should have a fair idea of how long a chapter should be, the paragraphs per chapter and the way that the chapters read. Things in a book should not be written in the simplest of terms, you should tell a story the same way as you would speak to your best friend. For instance, you have used SHEFFIELD as the setting for your book, which is a well known place in Britain, but it is NOT a seaside town or city. There is very little description to help people understand what it is like in SHEFFIELD.

 

Your story holds no bounds for imagination, you are narrating the characters, rather than letting them speak in their own way. When you are at school, listen to how people talk to each other in the school yard, listen to how your teacher speaks to you and other students, while at home listen to people around you. The more you listen and hear the conversation, the emotion, the tone and the way that people speak in general, then you can build your characters.

 

Use an advancement on this and it could make for an interesting read, if this is your first attempt, then I think for your age, you have done a pretty good job, not perfect, by no means, but I am not perfect either. You need encouragement and help to make this novel work, hard work and enthusiasm and not the same thing, but if you have both of these qualities, you will do it, I am sure. Keep writing and work on this more, feel your characters, read the story out loud, let your English teacher read it as extra work and more than anything NEVER GIVE UP!!!

 

I am pretty sure that there are 12 year old children out there, that would not even attempt such a huge task. So, be proud that you did, hold your head high and say that you had a go. If anyone laughs at the fact that you tried this, I would think they are jealous. If you would like me to explain anything further just leave a comment on here, or send me a private message/email and I will be happy to help you. Take care.

thanks you so much for taking your time and reading my book if you dont mind can u plz tell me if there is any author office where i can send my work to publishers to get my book pubished in sheffied

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thanks you so much for taking your time and reading my book if you dont mind can u plz tell me if there is any author office where i can send my work to publishers to get my book pubished in sheffied

 

Sorry, but it's just not good enough.

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Pip ............. is that male or female as I'd like to know for the knighthood/dame nomination.

 

That would be male, I would like the knighthood please, thanks.

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aishashoro, I agree with Scribe, your book is just not good enough. Your writing and description needs a lot of work before sending it off to anybody. Publishers will not be as polite as some of the people on here. I am talking from experience, I sent a letter along with a story to a publisher, it took them six weeks to reply which is about the norm. When they did finally reply, it simply said 'Thanks, but no thanks.' on a compliment slip. The story was over 4000 words in length and the layout was as they specified, the work had been proof read, but did not make it any further. It now sits on my laptop and the only person that reads it, is me. I do NOT encourage you to send this book to a publisher, but however, if you do feel that my advice and other advice here is not what you want to hear or believe, then feel free to ignore the advice and try to publish your work. Just be prepared for the rejection letters, not all authors make a success from their first book or even stories. I wish you luck and will keep looking at your posts to find out your progress. Take care.

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May be the advice you should give and take is get to the point. Pages of twaddle before you smack the kid with reality.

 

It's crap; kid's crap.

 

It's also called tough love.

 

Ever tried it?

 

Indulge the Brats thread.

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