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:)please can you help to me to get my book checked and reviewed by reading it and giving your feedback or correcting any mistakes.please help if yes then i would love to put my work up:)

please help me:)

yes:) no:(

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read this book out and correct the mistakes


This is a story about two couples, who fall in love after marriage. They don’t even know each other; just suddenly fall in love after marriage. They are adorable and always stay together forever.


Ana: A beautiful girl from a middle class family, who marries mark.

Mark: A high class intelligent rich and posh man, who is forced to get married to Ana but falls in love with her after marriage.

Amy: She is mad in love with Mark; even she kills herself for Mark.

Ella: Ana’s mum, who suddenly die, coz of cancer

Lisa: Amys mum, who only love her daughter

Sarah: Mark’s mum, who hates Ana.

Josh: Mark’s dad, who lover his sister and he want to live as a happy family.

James: He loves Amy; he is madly in love with her. He can do anything for Amy, even ruin people’s life.




This is a story about a girl called Ana lives in Sheffield with her mother, Ella, a school teacher. They belong to a lower-middle class family. Ella’s wealthy nephew, mark also introduced Alongside his best friend (and maternal cousin), Amy. Unknown to mark, Amy is deeply In love with him. Both mark and Amy’s mothers, Sarah and Lisa, assume that mark

Will eventually propose to Amy since they have always been so close. It is soon revealed

That Ella is diagnosed with cancer and she requests her brother, josh, marks rich father,

To help her in this dire time of need. Out of guilt for neglecting his sister’s welfare for so long.


Josh decides promptly to bring Ella and her daughter to his big mansion and provide first class. Treatment for her cancer. However, the doctors state that there is no hope of saving Ellas life as her cancer has progressed to an advanced stage. Hearing this, Ella becomes worried over what will happen to Ana after she is gone, and she requests josh to find a decent proposal? For Ana. Ridden with guilt, josh decides to get Ana married to mark.


Josh later conveys his desire to mark, his son is taken much aback as he has no plans of getting

Married to anyone at that moment, let alone a girl who seems like the exact opposite of him.

After mark shares this news with Amy, she becomes very angry and heartbroken, revealing to Mark that no one has any right over him since she has loved him all her life. Mark strictly tells

Amy that he does not share the feelings that Amys harbors for him; in his eyes, their relationship has always been limited to friendship. Amy promises mark that she will not let him ruin his life by Marrying Ana and she will not be rejected in favor of the “veiled and backwards” Ana since she Is better in every aspect (education, background etc.). However, josh breaks down in front of his son,Begging him to marry Ana, as he believes that no one else could take better care of her.


Eventually, mark agrees to marry Ana under his dad’s immense emotional pressure. Sarah, who is extremely possessive about her son, feels neglected during the whole Process and lashes out at mark, begging him to think of his son's welfare and reconsider the decision since Ana and mark are such a mismatch. Josh threatens his wife with a divorce if she tries to come between mark and Ana marriage. Meanwhile, Ana is even More shocked than mark to hear about her proposed marriage to mark. Ana decides to talk to mark but overhears mark conversation with a friend about her being backwards.


Ana who is revealed to be very egoistic is deeply hurt. Being her dying mother's wish, Ana has no choice but to agree to the wedding. Amy attempts suicide but is rescued in time. Mark and Ana are married in a rush (and with a simple wed) in due to Ellas failing health. She dies soon after, leaving Ana very depressed and lonely.


Mark and Ana begin their marriage on a very somber note where both of them feel that they have been included into each other’s lives without consent and are being enforced on each other. None of them are happy about the union; however mark promises Amy that he will try his

Best to make her feel comfortable and this marriage work even though he knows that it will

Take them a long period of time to come to an understanding. Ana is deeply hurt by the fact

That she has been forced into marks life and feels that her self-respect has been lost.


Later on, however, they both begin falling in love with each other, and mark believes it is her

Innocence, simplicity, and purity of heart that attracts him to her, saying that she's unlike

Any other girl he's ever come across. Even as Amy pretends to befriend with Ana and humiliates her in front of her friends, mark rebukes Amy for her cruelty and tells Ana that she is the most perfect, beautiful girl he could have ever asked for. He tells her that people normally like each other, Love each other, and then marry. But with them, it was the opposite. He tells her he loves her, and she loves him too, and that he thanks God every day that he agreed to the wedding.


Soon, Josh becomes very sick, and while he's in the hospital, he warns his son against Hurting Ana, saying that she's very innocent by nature and doesn't know the realities of this World or the people in it. He asks him to treat her with constant love and kindness and to always forgive her for anything she might ever do. Mark, already in love with his new wife, agrees. Josh later dies in his sleep.




While Amy pretends to befriend with Ana, she falsely tells Ana that mark makes fun of Housewives by referring to them as "desperate housewives" in order to make her feel more embarrassed. Already well-educated with a BSC in physics and mathematics, Ana decides to enroll in graduate studies to further her math skills in order to impress Mark and reach more to his standards. There, she meets James, Amy’s maternal Cousin who has strong feelings towards Amy.



Still, Amy expresses no feelings for

James and is still not over mark. When James starts to come to mark and Ana’s house,

He praises Ana for how smart and beautiful she is, and mark starts to get irritated and

Slightly jealous. Unbeknownst to mark, Ana is pregnant and can't wait to tell him this great news.


Meanwhile, Sarah, Lisa, and Amy come up with a plan to separate Ana and her husband.

Sarah plans on paying large sums of money to James for him to be able to study abroad

As well as have him marry Amy if he can convince mark that he and Ana are secretly engaged

In an extramarital affair. Amy lies to James by telling him that she'll marry him when he returns

From his abroad studying. The scheme goes into action (before Ana could tell mark she was pregnant), And mark sees what falsely appear to be Ana and James alone in his apartment. He storms off angry. When Ana later asks Sarah why she did this, she responds that she would never allow a public school Teacher’s daughter to be her daughter-in-law. She goes on to say that Ana isn't even fit to be the house's servant.


Ana tries to protest and calls mark, who falsely keeps insisting that she is in an affair with him. However, Sarah Backs James lies and kicks Ana out of the house before mark has a chance to speak with her. Before leaving, she quickly manages to write a note for mark and leaves it with a servant. Although mark returns expecting to be able to speak with Ana to hear her explanation, his mother lies and says that she and James have already eloped together.


Heartbroken and alone, Ana takes refuge at the house of her mother's old friend, Lauren,

In Birmingham. Throughout her time there, she calls mark at his cell phone and his office,

But he promptly hangs up whenever he finds out it is Ana calling. Believing his mother's

Story that Ana eloped with James, he says he no longer knows anyone named Ana. After a few months, Ana goes into labor and calls mark one last time. Again he hangs up, and she prematurely gives birth to a baby girl whom she names Millie. While in the small clinic with her newborn baby, Ana vows that she won't forgive mark for what he did. Her desperate attempts to reach out to mark have now turned to heartfelt anger and possibly hatred.


Four years pass and Ana finds out that her daughter is a patient of congenital heart disease, and needs immediate open heart surgery. Since she knows she will not be able to afford Millie’s treatment, Ana hesitantly pays a visit to her husband and tells him about the current situation. She comes back a changed woman, one with more power and anger than she had before. At first, he doesn't react

And refuses to help, but later, as he realizes his sudden love for the daughter he had never met,

Decides to treat Millie.


Mark brings his wife and four-year-old child to his house, but does not reveal this to Amy, Sarah, or Lisa. He bonds with Ana and Millie over time, though Ana still thinks he is a

Weak and horrible husband as he did not believe/listen to her four years earlier. In addition, she states that she's only there for her daughter's treatment and no longer cares about being with mark, and it is because of this that she hasn't told him the realities of what his mother did to her four years earlier.

Amy, in complete shock, spots mark with his wife and daughter at a restaurant. After making comments that angered mark, she leaves for home, agitated and angered. She calls Sarah.


Amy tells Sarah that Ana has returned. Sarah quickly returns to Sheffield from a conference

In the United States and explains to Ana that she can easily throw her and her daughter back

On the streets again. She fears Ana that she will tell mark everything and that she's trying to be a part of his life again. No longer afraid of her mother-in-law, Ana tells her to do as she pleases, as she is only there for her daughter's care and no longer cares for the whole family. She says, "I don't want anything to do with your son or your mansion...I don't even see your son as being worth talking to. Your son is weak. He couldn't protect me. He no longer has any place in my heart."


Sarah seems shocked and outraged at how fearless and bold Ana has become.

As Millie demands to see old pictures from their wedding, mark brings out an old box,

Which contains the note that Ana left for mark four years earlier as she was being thrown?

Out of the house. He doesn't see it right away, however. Mark also overhears Katy, Anas friend, telling her to accept mark back in her life if he asks her to. Ana refuses, and overhearing this, mark appears troubled.


James returns from his studies abroad and demands Sarah fulfill her promise of marrying him to Amy. Amy, angered by his return, refuses, but Sarah insists she go through with it since James threatens to tell mark the truth of what happened four years ago. Meanwhile, mollies surgery takes place and is successful. Seeing how much he loves his daughter, Ana decides to leave Millie with mark as He can provide for her better.


Mark, who was never completely over his wife, finds him redeveloping Feelings for Ana again and decides to wholeheartedly forgive her for her former affair (still not knowing it was all a lie).

In addition, he wants her back in his life forever. He says to her while she's asleep, "I wish I can take you far away

From here, far away from all the pain in this world...but one thing is true, Ana, I've completely lost in trying to hate you.“Ana, on the other hand, does not appear to want anything to do with mark anymore.


James returns to Sheffield and visits Sarah. He demands her to give an answer to his marriage

Request for Amy within two days or else he'll "destroy" her with everything he knows.

Meanwhile, mark finds James leaving his home, and when he confronts his mother as

To why he was there, Sarah responds by saying, "He wants you and Ana to take divorce...

“Mark is seen visibly shaking with anger and sadness at this false revelation.

Edited by aishashoro
add some more

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here is the rest of the story plz read it and correct the grammer



Amy continues to spiral down with her depression, saying that she can never get over mark due To her strong love and that she can never forget Ana due to her strong hatred for her. Lisa, Amy’s mother, says she is remorseful for having destroyed "that poor life" and wishes she had nothing to do with seraphs evil plot. She tells Sara she feels Ana’s curse is beginning to mount on Amy and is the reason for her constant unhappiness and depression.


Mark takes Ana from the hospital (where Millie is still recovering) to the seaside of Sheffield and pours out his feelings to her. Still unaware of her innocence, he asks how she can walk around without Feeling any kind of shame for what she did. He then says that he loves her just as he did four years Ago and that he can't remove her from his heart. He begs her to stay, if not for him then for Millie. Ana, seemingly untouched by his emotional speech, rejects his offer and, when pressed, will not Tell him her reasoning. She says she only cares about Millie’s health and happiness now and wants Nothing else from this world, not even mark. She tells him she's leaving Millie with him So she can have a better life. Mark is hurt and saddened by how she no longer wants anything to do with him.


Mark promises Millie that he'll take her and Ana to Disneyland once she recovers. In the middle of the night after they return home, Ana packs her bags and tearfully says goodbye to her sleeping daughter. She leaves a note for mark, saying she's Leaving Millie with him since he can better provide for her. She says she is surrendering all of her rights over Millie for Millie’s sake but requests mark to allow her to call her daughter Every now and then, but that if he refuses, she will respect his decision. Millie wakes up in the Morning upset at not being able to find her mother. Mark, once he sees the note, is deeply saddened and emotional. Depressed, he tearfully remembers the romantic and touching moments he and Ana Shared four years ago.


James later comes by mark's office to tell him the truth, but in his anger, Mark forces him out without listening. Later on, he returns home,

Intending to look at Ana’s photo albums when he finally discovers the Letter she wrote for him four years ago when she was being thrown out of the house. It describes what his mother did and ends by saying, "I was yours, am yours,

And until death, I'll always be yours. If you don't believe me, I don't know how I'll live...

I'll always be waiting for you..." The letter also tells him she was pregnant and that Sarah knew

About it. Visibly distraught, mark overhears his mother's revealing phone call with James.


He spirals into an emotional breakdown and leaves the house. Sarah awakens to find him gone, And, concerned, begins trying to contact him. She stumbles upon Ana’s letter and is much stressed to learn that mark finally knows the truth about what she did.amy commits suicide,

Leaving her mother in complete despair and shock. Her mum tells Sarah that, “You’ll be alone just like I am now. You'll be crying the same way as I am...“She blames Sarah for Amy’s death.


It is revealed that mark left for Birmingham to bring Ana back. He tells Ana that Millie Misses her mum and won't eat, and, is very worried, Ana returns to Sheffield with him. Sarah hears them return and confronts them at the entrance by saying the letter was False and that there's no proof that Millie is marks daughter. Mark, angered by his mother's Actions, swears upon Ana’s good character and tearfully asks his mother how she could do Something so horrible to Ana, Millie, and, most importantly, to mark himself.


He says animals get treated well than what she did to Hired. He also says, "You gave me life. And at the same time, you took it away from me. You murdered your own son, mother. You took his life away..."Ana, during this whole confrontation, is very emotional.sarah returns to her room where she is met by three imaginary beings: incarnations of Amy, Ana, and josh.

Amy tells her she is responsible for her death and that she is happy mark finally knows the truth about his mother's evil nature. Josh rebukes her for her cruelty Based on what she did to mark and asks, "Do you know why your son is crying? It’s because his own mother murdered all of his happiness..." And Ana asks her, “Did you really think god was going to let you do this to me? Look how swift His justice is...your son has been taken away from you.

“Sarah remembers how Ana, four year earlier, begged her to allow her back in the house. She then begins screaming uncontrollably.


Mark tells Ana to never forgive him and to never love him again for what he did. She tells him she doesn't know what she should do but that she's tired of fighting this world by her. She says that the four years they were apart felt like four Centuries and that her love for him isn't dead but that it’s just temporarily lost.

He asks her to take him back for Millie’s sake, and she agrees.


Sarah loses her mind. Due to her horrible mental condition, she still lives with mark in the house. She constantly sees an imaginary Amy trying to murder her. When mark asks her to please eat something, Sarah, in her crazed mental state, says, "Amy came! Don't ever let her come

In the house. I'm scared of her...she's trying to kill Me." mark assures her He’ll make sure the guard keeps an eye out for her. Sarah also sees josh in many places and says he is mad at her. When she sees Millie, she asks, “An angel...an angel in my house...whose angel is this?" (Marks responds), "She's your angel." Sarah, smiling at Millie with love and affection, responds, "She's my little angel."


James tells Lisa, his aunt/ Amy’s mother, that he's leaving for America again. Lisa says she'll have to live with her consequences for the rest of her life. It rains, and mark and Ana watch Millie play in it. He asks Ana if it's because

Of him that she doesn't like the rain anymore. She smiles, and tells him that she still loves the rain. Mark used to like when Ana had her hair down and would periodically remove the clip from her bun to let it down. As they look at each other With Millie playing in the rain, he takes her pin out, letting her hair fall.


They both hold hands and run in the rain with Millie. As they play in the rain, Flashbacks happen of the time when mark saw how an excited Ana danced In the rain four years earlier, implying their love for each back then was happening again.They laugh and smile, holding hands and running as a happy family.



Hi, My name is Aisha Shoro and I m 12+ years old, student of the best school in Sheffield (KING EDWARD VII SECONDARY SCHOOL) Actually I love reading books and after reading Jacqueline Wilsons books I thought of writing my own book. I started with writing short poetries and they were successful, I won in lots of potrys then I decided why not write a book and that’s how I started writing a book

I hope you enjoy this book I am sure you will love it and inspire your own kids or friends to write a book or a poem. Wont you?

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can you people plzzzz send some replys to my post on sheffield forum can you help me to get my book reviewed by aisha shoro

plzzzz thnks

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can you people plzzzz send some replys to my post on sheffield forum can you help me to get my book reviewed by aisha shoro

plzzzz thnks

Is the book in english or gibberish.

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Posting the thread you want replies to twice is not a good way to get attention. If you want people to look at your book you would do better to use proper spelling and grammar. Mine isn't perfect I know but I just can't take somebody seriously as an author when they type like that.

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Wheres the link?

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Hello aishashoro,

Welcome to the group :). I'm sure that you will get some feedback on your story eventually. Meanwhile, please have a read of some of the work that other people have posted.

Cheerio for now,


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Hello aishashoro, I will try and get around to looking at your book this afternoon, but cannot promise that I will have the time. I have had a quick scan over it and it seems a little hard to understand. I know that you are young and I will try and pay you the respect that you deserve, but please do not take my comments as being insults, I am an honest person and the criticism will hopefully be constructive.

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Write a book? How long is it since you were colouring them or better still eating them? Not long enough by the effort on here.

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my book is in english plz read it and send any feedback i would really apreciate it


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