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How do you deal with someone that only wants to talk about themselves?


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I work with a woman who constantly hijacks conversations by interrupting and turning it into being about her, even when she isn’t included in the original conversation!! For example, if someone is talking about their children, this woman interrupts and starts talking about her children, if someone is talking about an ailment, she interrupts and starts talking about a time she once had a similar ailment, and the original point (to which we were actually far more interested) gets lost. No matter what anyone has done, this woman has done it better. Every sentence starts with either “I” or “my” (and I’m not exaggerating). She may occasionally ask a question but then doesn’t pay the blindest bit of notice to the answer, because she’s simply not interested, it’s all just a clever way of steering the conversation back to something she can then dominate. If she was someone I only encountered in social circles I’d avoid her like the plague, but she’s a colleague so there’s no escaping her. Should I just shut up and put up, or should I grow a pair and tell her (as politely as possible of course)?

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I work with a woman who constantly hijacks conversations by interrupting and turning it into being about her, even when she isn’t included in the original conversation!! For example, if someone is talking about their children, this woman interrupts and starts talking about her children, if someone is talking about an ailment, she interrupts and starts talking about a time she once had a similar ailment, and the original point (to which we were actually far more interested) gets lost. No matter what anyone has done, this woman has done it better. Every sentence starts with either “I” or “my” (and I’m not exaggerating). She may occasionally ask a question but then doesn’t pay the blindest bit of notice to the answer, because she’s simply not interested, it’s all just a clever way of steering the conversation back to something she can then dominate. If she was someone I only encountered in social circles I’d avoid her like the plague, but she’s a colleague so there’s no escaping her. Should I just shut up and put up, or should I grow a pair and tell her (as politely as possible of course)?

 

Someone should start a conversation about having some kind of unpleasant ailment e.g. headlice, warts etc. and see if she has had that too :hihi:

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Had a good day today. No work. Went to pics with two of my sons. Film was okay. Then went and did a bit of shopping. Put some turf down and then went to the gym. Home now. Had a spot of fish pie, watching later with jules now, might have a bath in a bit, dunno though...

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I work with a woman who constantly hijacks conversations by interrupting and turning it into being about her, even when she isn’t included in the original conversation!! For example, if someone is talking about their children, this woman interrupts and starts talking about her children, if someone is talking about an ailment, she interrupts and starts talking about a time she once had a similar ailment, and the original point (to which we were actually far more interested) gets lost. No matter what anyone has done, this woman has done it better. Every sentence starts with either “I” or “my” (and I’m not exaggerating). She may occasionally ask a question but then doesn’t pay the blindest bit of notice to the answer, because she’s simply not interested, it’s all just a clever way of steering the conversation back to something she can then dominate. If she was someone I only encountered in social circles I’d avoid her like the plague, but she’s a colleague so there’s no escaping her. Should I just shut up and put up, or should I grow a pair and tell her (as politely as possible of course)?

 

let out a big yawn followed by 'boring' then walk off. This always works on site and gets a good reaction

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Had a good day today. No work. Went to pics with two of my sons. Film was okay. Then went and did a bit of shopping. Put some turf down and then went to the gym. Home now. Had a spot of fish pie, watching later with jules now, might have a bath in a bit, dunno though...

 

:hihi: Yep, pretty much just like that. I had a bath once...

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Aren't most people like that? You make a call to a friend for the precise purpose of passing on some good news, or seeking advice or sympathy about a problem you have and within two minutes you're having to listen to their good news or sympathise with them, or even worse, having to listen to rambling story about a third party that you don't even know, and care even less about. :D

Edited by rubydazzler
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I work with a woman who constantly hijacks conversations by interrupting and turning it into being about her, even when she isn’t included in the original conversation!! For example, if someone is talking about their children, this woman interrupts and starts talking about her children, if someone is talking about an ailment, she interrupts and starts talking about a time she once had a similar ailment, and the original point (to which we were actually far more interested) gets lost. No matter what anyone has done, this woman has done it better. Every sentence starts with either “I” or “my” (and I’m not exaggerating). She may occasionally ask a question but then doesn’t pay the blindest bit of notice to the answer, because she’s simply not interested, it’s all just a clever way of steering the conversation back to something she can then dominate. If she was someone I only encountered in social circles I’d avoid her like the plague, but she’s a colleague so there’s no escaping her. Should I just shut up and put up, or should I grow a pair and tell her (as politely as possible of course)?

 

I worked with a guy like that years ago. After a few weeks I just asked him if he knew he was being eyewateringly tedious by turning every conversation round to himself. He looked a bit sheepish, said no, I then confirmed he was, he appologised and did actually improve. Not to someone you'd want to talk to but at least to someone you don't want to hide semtex in their lunchbox.

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Self worth and insecurity issues?

Promoting themselves to feel more involved (but overdoing it a bit) could be a reason. Trouble is it becomes a hard habit to break and ends up bieng counter productive.

Most people will have met someone a bit like this.

Its maybe best to try and work round it and remember...if you dont know everything about someone, you wont know why they behave as they do.

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Self worth and insecurity issues?

Promoting themselves to feel more involved (but overdoing it a bit) could be a reason. Trouble is it becomes a hard habit to break and ends up bieng counter productive.

Most people will have met someone a bit like this.

Its maybe best to try and work round it and remember...if you dont know everything about someone, you wont know why they behave as they do.

 

I think that's it, she's a divorced woman in her sixties who has little contact with her kids and is probably quite lonely, so despite being a massive pain in the ass, in some respects I do feel sorry for her. I bet if she read this thread she'd not recognise that it could be about her because she's really not self aware, she needs someone to spell it out to her (but preferably not me coz I'm a big wimp)

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