Daughter's passed pre op assessment

[172-125 10]

My daughters had her pre op assessment today, with everything clear.

Her operation was penciled in for middle of May, but because she can go in at short notice, she's on a 24hr notice waiting list.

Alot of people on here have been offering help & supporting us for a couple of months now, we just need to get this final hurdle out of the way.

We are going to be back to jumping whenever the phone rings, the nearer its getting the more scared my daughter is, she's been saying for a while now she is mentally prepared but last night she broke down. Last month she was put on anti-depressants temporarily to get her through while she waits for her op.

She's got everything packed, does anyone know if she is allowed to take a doll into the hospital with her, we bought her a doll the day she was born & in 1993 it was one of the only things she had that survived from an house fire we had, its been through everything with her, its a right scrag end but its 24yrs old, she would love to wake up & see it on her bed.

We were told today we could only go outside of theatre with her then we would have to leave & someone would ring us towards end of op.

There is no way under any circumstances am I leaving that hospital while she is having the op no matter how many hrs she will be in. What can we do about this?

[adyfife 10]

hi, what is the operation for

[172-125 10]

hi, what is the operation for

 

Its Neurosurgery to safe her life

[Jillybabes 10]

Hi, I would let her take the doll in, I don't think you would have to ask permission. If its something she has had all her life and is of comfort to her then it can only do her good surely, they can't deny her of that. They cannot make you leave the hospital while she is in surgery, that should be your choice not theirs. I hope everything goes well for her and for you as a family.

[medusa 16]

One step closer to this all being over then

 

I had a teddy in hospital with me when I was in for my big operation and nobody minded about that. In fact he wore my necklace, earrings and watch while I was down in theatre, and they even brought him to me when I was transferred to intensive care afterwards, so I can't imagine that they're going to make that a huge issue.

 

They also can't force you to leave the hospital, although I would recommend finding a way to leave but remain local if the op is predicted to be a long one, if only because it could make it a little easier to pass the time without going gently round the bend. Even if all you do is to go across the road to the pub or across another road into the church to pray, leaving the hospital may be very much better for your mental health, given that you can't do anything for her while she's in the operating theatre.

 

When the day comes she and you will just go along with a very well oiled machine at the hospital and it will be fine to leave her at the door to the operating theatre because that's what needs to happen for her to get through it and get better, and the surgeon will take the best care of her.

 

Lots of families go through this sort of thing and no matter how proficient the surgeons and medical teams are, it's still a pretty terrifying situation for the patient and their loved ones, but there really is little alternative to having the operation, is there?

 

Do whatever you have to do to get through the time between now and the day it finally happens (personally I'd recommend sleeping pills, because everything feels worse at 4am than it does after a good night's sleep) but try to be gentle with yourself. This is not a standard situation and very few other people would cope with this either- it's perfectly normal in this situation to have a little fall to pieces and crying or cancelling other things when they are too hard to focus on are just fine.

 

Fingers crossed for all of you

[172-125 10]

thankyou Jillybabes, thats some reassurance. I was annoyed today because she was called in for her pre op & they asked me to wait there, after about 10 mins I asked a nurse where she was, she said she was speaking to a nurse, I said I was told I could go in with her, she is going to be having brain surgery & cannot remember things & forgets things, she took me straight to her. I couldnt believe it, I said I wasnt happy because the letter we received about the pre op said everything would be explained in detail & no one is telling her anything. I know she looks ill & spaced out all the time, but that is because of her brain bless her

[melthebell 862]

good luck daughter, scary but if it saves your life you NEED to do it, not just for you but for those that love you

[mjhal 10]

hi, hope all is fine , our thoughts are with you and your daughterxxxx

[172-125 10]

Thankyou once again everyone, I personally am not allowed sleeping pills even in the house ( I think you might understand where I am coming from with my mental health & bad days)

My husband wants to go on his own to the theatre door with her, she will be transferred to intensive care from theatre.

The reason for her op is because shes developed a cyst on her brain in a ventricle its growing & on last scan was 14mm, its situated in a position where it is floating around in the brain fluid & when it moves its temporarily cutting the fluid off from left or right side of her brain, hence her passing out & becoming unconscious, if it blocks both sides off its instant death. She cant ever sleep on her back because it can drop to centre, hence us making sure shes on her side whilst she sleeps.

Because of the size of the cyst & its location she could die having it removed, so shes in a catch 22 situation.

My hubbys always been strong through everything but I have never seen him fall to pieces like he's been doing since we found out she could die.

I don't know what he is going to be like on day of op, plus my dads got heart failure so hes a worry for us too.

[Bethsmummy 10]

My thoughts are with you hun. My youngest daughter had to undergo lifesaving surgery at 2 weeks and it truely was the darkest few hours of my life. My advice would be to find something very close by to the hospital to walk around / visit. When your child is in theatre 10minutes is an eternity. Pacing outside theatre doors will only prolong every last minute. If she's at the Northern General and its during daylight there is the fir vale shops at the bottom of barnsley Road. You could wander down to tesco, get a. Nice bunch of flowers for your lovely daughter & be back in half an hour. It'll while an hour away and you can get her a nice surprise.

 

I know its hard but keep your chin up. Remember how strong your wonderful daughter is and try to draw strength from that. Let us all know when she's on the mend. Big hugs. X

[curriechick 10]

I had an operation a couple of years ago and I took my old tatty teddy with me. He goes with me everywhere I am going to have to sleep, holidays and hospitals and no one minded him being there. I fact one day I was in the shower and when I got back my bed had been changed and my teddy was missing, he had got taken down the the laundry. The ward rang the laundry and before the day was up I got back a very clean and fresh smelling teddy with a little note from the ladies in the laundry saying they had taken good care of him.

 

Anything that helps or comforts your daughter at this time will most probably be allowed, their priority is to keep her calm and prepared for the surgery.I agree with Medusa though and would try and spend at least part of the time away from the hospital as your peace of mind also needs to be considered as you will be the one caring for her after the operation and you need to be as calm and stress free as possible.

 

My thoughts and good wishes are with you and your family at this time.

Stay Strong.

[adyfife 10]

my heart goes out to you, i cannot even begin to imagine what you are going through having 3 daughters of my own, i can only say dont opt for the sleeping pills, i would want to keep a level head no matter what, whenever i read anything like this i cant get it out of my head and so i will be thinking of you for the next few days, i wish you the best of luck and please keep us posted xx