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Relationship advice please

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Dear Forum...

 

I am have been engaged for a year and we soon plan to get married. My problem is after a week of meeting my fiance I met another guy at work. I instantly liked him, but thought nothing of it as I started seeing my boyfriend.

 

Anyhow, I then saw this guy again through work again and couldn't speak to him as I didn't expect to see him at this meeting, and at that time I had been with my boyfriend for three months. I even felt guilty about liking him due to being with my boyfriend for three months.

 

Me and my boyfriend started having some problems in the relationship, and we broke up. Strange thing is I started seeing this bloke everywhere I went. At work, when driving, restaurants, and even in the same pubs. Every time I saw him he would just stare at me, but we wouldn't speak to each other! I think because I was rude to him the second time I met him it deterred him from speaking to me? I even started seeing him when I was out with mates, but never said anything to him. My friends started to notice we kept seeing him. I thought seeing him all the time was some sort of a sign, and made me like him even more.

 

My friend decided to take matters in her own hands, she saw him on her own, and decided to tell him how I felt. His response in short was "I am busy at the moment, but when you see me next time, stop me and I will speak to you about it". He stated he was single, but she said he wasn't very eager to talk.

 

I was very embarrassed she did this, and have no idea whether he does like me or not now. Clearly this has made things worse as I haven't seen him anywhere in a few months. I have been avoiding him as I am embarrassed and I think he may be doing the same thing.

 

My ex has also been back in contact and wants to sort things out, and he proposed, however I still cannot stop thinking about this guy.

 

What should I do to close this?

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You seem to be pretty involved, I mean, to say you don't know this guy. Yes, it's ok to lust and all that, but your behaviour seems a tab obsessive.

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Sometimes the grass does look greener on the other side, but it often isn't. My advice would be not to rush into anything at all while you are so confused. Time has a habit of sorting things out, so just be you for a while & see how you feel then. Good luck.

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You obviously do not love your ex boyfriend as otherwise you wouldn't have these feelings for this other guy from your work. End it with him, you owe him that and he needs a chance to get on with his life and meet someone who can give him what you cannot.

 

This other guy; pluck up the courage and speak to him, whats the worst that could happen? he shoots you down, but you don't even know him anyway, so will make zero difference in your life. If he is not interested, you have a clear path ahead of you and can get on with life without that nagging thought at the back of your heard. If you end up having a relationship with him. Great.

 

Please though as a guy here I want to ask you not to do something that eventually gets many girls/women the "bitch" nickname. Do not chase one guy while you keep another hanging on, its just not right.

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Please though as a guy here I want to ask you not to do something that eventually gets many girls/women the "bitch" nickname. Do not chase one guy while you keep another hanging on, its just not right.

Theres no need for this type of derogatory comment, at all. Shes not a 'bitch' or whatever. The poster is clearly confused and that is all.

 

People who are confused within situations like this and not confident enough to navigate through them, tend to wind up in these situations. It can be overwhelming having or wanting two peoples attention at once, especially when you're not used to that kind of attention.

 

To the OP, Id say take a breather from both people and look inside you on what you WANT from both of them and what both of them can give you. In a few days, then decide how you want to proceed with either relationship. Someone in this whole thing is going to get hurt, thats a given, whether it be your fiance, yourself or this third person involved..

 

Remember, marriage isnt just for a moment, its a lifelong commitment. So be sure before you accept one mans offer for marriage that this is REALLY what you want right now. Or if hes the person you want it from.

 

Good luck.

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Theres no need for this type of derogatory comment, at all. Shes not a 'bitch' or whatever. .

 

He has not accused her of being one. He's only requesting that she does not decide to become one.

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He has not accused her of being one. He's only requesting that she does not decide to become one.

 

But why even mention it at all?? How is one a bitch?

I thought it was a term used for strong out going and opinionated women? Now its for one who has the attention of one too many men? Sorry. There is no excuse for it.

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But why even mention it at all?

 

Because the OP has asked for advice on how to handle her situation. That includes advice on what not to do, as well as advice on what to do.

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Because the OP has asked for advice on how to handle her situation. That includes advice on what not to do, as well as advice on what to do.

 

Its still not an appropriate word. Especially when being used on a 'family forum' (as we're constantly reminded)

 

Any way last of this as this side tracking is not helpful at all to the OP.

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Hardly fair to agree to marry one bloke whilst still trying to get with the other one is it ?

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I would say take a bit more time without either of them. Be single for a bit and let nature take its course. Don't chase the work guy but also definitely DO NOT agree to marry your ex if you're currently this unsure.

 

Some time on your own will soon let you know how you feel and it may be that neither of them are right and Mr Wonderful will come along and sweep you off your feet.

 

I definitely don't think you should be thinking of being with anyone that you have doubts about.

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Oh and don't let your friend interfere...... if the work guy likes you he'll let you know!

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