How old should baby be before you go away without her?

[littleboo 10]

I think it depends on your and your child, me time is fine as long as you can be there in a few hours...i'm not sure that personally i would leave mine and go to another country..

I would however suggest that you should start leaving her with her grandparents for nights or weekends before you take the plunge for a week...

[skinz 10]

Use how your parents cared for you as a child. If you feel their good carers based on your infancy then get yourself off. Ignore the 24/7/365 days idiocy.

[DerbyTup 10]

If my eldest sister had waited till my neice was 5/6 yrs old before letting her stay at my mums house then she not only would have had postnatal depression she would have had a mental breakdown through lack of sleep. Having her stay with us one night a week meant we got no sleep but between me/my mum/dad and other sister who lived at home we shared the load so that my sister who's baby it was could get one night of sleep.

 

And so from your comment me having my 3 yr old nephew staying at my house is also wrong. I am not sure why, I am an adult, responsible and he knows me. He enjoys staying and as i mentioned they all look forward to it asking when its there turn...

 

Yes having a baby is a big responsiblity but i dont see the harm in the child staying with a family member for a night. I know the OP mentioned a holiday but i did comment saying have a night rather than a proper holiday. Just because you have a child its not a sin to still wanna go out and have a meal with your partner or go the cinema and watch a film and have some time for yourselves. unless you are leaving the child with a complete stranger - then that is wrong

 

I think there's some misunderstanding here.

 

I don't see anything wrong in letting a child under 5 stay with family for a few hours whilst the parents get a break - we've done that ourselves with our kids.

 

I wouldn't leave a child under 5 with anyone that they are not very closely familiar with.

 

I've left my 18 month old son with my mother, for up to 1 hour max, whilst I've gone out to the shops - but that was absolutely the max because at that age (and at 13 months) they just don't understand and can't be explained or consoled very easily if they get upset.

 

The OP is talking about going on holiday and leaving a 13 month old baby with someone else. I think that's totally irresponsible and throws into question their suitability to be a parent.

 

Sorry if you think that's harsh. I don't. I think that when you choose to become a parent you make a committment to another human being that is TOTALLY dependent on you. That doesn't mean you don't deserve a break now and again, maybe an hour or two, if the kids can be left with someone they are familiar and happy to be with.

 

But a holiday?

 

I'm appalled.

[HTM_1983 10]

I think it depends on your and your child, me time is fine as long as you can be there in a few hours...i'm not sure that personally i would leave mine and go to another country..

I would however suggest that you should start leaving her with her grandparents for nights or weekends before you take the plunge for a week...

 

yeah i would definatly say a night away to start, then maybe try 2 nights and take it from there.

[xenia 11]

This is not directed to the lady who started this thread but I have to say that I wonder why some of the contributors had kids in the first place.

 

All the comments about post natal depression and the downsides of having kids what about the sheer joy of caring for a young un?

 

There are lots of things you can no longer do because you have a kid, there are also lots of things that you would neve have done that you can now do because you have one. Stop bleating enjoy!

[neeeeeeeeeek 10]

A cat box and some Valium. Problem solved!

[GrayFace 10]

so Xenia and Grayface- you think that beacuse someone has children they arent entitled to some 'me' time....i guess its a matter of opinion, and i know i dont have children but as mentioned my neices/nephews often spent the night at my mums when they were babies to allow them to have some time to themsleves/go out/watch a film etc.

 

Since moving to Sheffield I often have one of my brothers 3 children staying 9/5/3 yrs and they all look forward to it (including the 3 yr old) asking when it's there turn to stay with aunty HTM

 

of course they/us/me are allowed 'me' time, but IMHO i wouldnt sod off on holiday so,its up to her what she does

gf

Edited November 24, 2011 by GrayFace
there was a number 7 typed within the message, god knows why?!

[eckerslike 10]

and presumably the grandparents will breast feed them in the middle of the night then as well?

 

As less than 25% of babies in the uk are still breast feeding a 12 months it probably doesn't matter. Perhaps you watch too much Little Britain.

[lolli_pop 10]

The OP is talking about going on holiday and leaving a 13 month old baby with someone else. I think that's totally irresponsible and throws into question their suitability to be a parent

 

It's not just with "someone else" though, is it? It's the child's grandparents. The OP didn't mention how long this holiday is going to be but, say, a weekend break somewhere easily driveable is hardly irresponsible.

 

Parenting is tough, and sometimes parents need a break. If the OP was as irresponsible as you claim, they would hardly be worrying whether they dared take a break, would they?

[medusa 16]

My mum and dad left me with my loving and caring grandparents (and my older sister) for a week when I was 3 months old and I don't remember ever having any attachment issues or problems

 

I think if you need to ask someone else's opinion on whether it's right then the chances are that you aren't ready to take that step yet. If you were ready then you wouldn't need to ask someone else to back you up.

[littleboo 10]

the most i have ever left my girls for is two nights..one with my husband(their Daddy) and one with my Parents...My children have never stayed with anyone other than my parents.

 

personally i feel guilty and miss them too much for any longer...

[Sid Umpley 10]

its a baby not a life sentence.

 

there's a quote, it takes a village to raise a child. Your child will become a way more educated, rounded and generally lovely person if it gets more than one influence in its life.

When my son was 6 weeks old his mum and I had a weekend away and he went to his grandparents. they LOVED it. he is now an adult, a decent bloke and he loves his nana.