Metro: One Third Believe Flirtatious Women 'Ask' for Rape

[Kthebean 10]

xafier, I understand where you're coming from.

 

However, if you do not wish a woman to 'cry rape' in the morning, DONT HAVE SEX WITH HER WHEN YOU'RE NOT SURE IF SHE REALLY WANTS TO OR NOT! Then you're protecting her, and yourself! Let her stay on the couch and ask her again in the morning!

 

I've been in far too many situations where I've had some drunk guy going 'come on, I love you, you know you want to really, I'll take care of you, you'll be ok, I bought you loads of drinks, I can't believe you're saying no' - thankfully I have always had the presence of mind not to. But I know a lot of more insecure ladies who would fall for that hook line and sinker.

 

However, xafier, you can rest assured that those kind of cases NEVER get prosecuted. EVER.

[xafier 10]

Originally posted by kathythebean

However, if you do not wish a woman to 'cry rape' in the morning, DONT HAVE SEX WITH HER WHEN YOU'RE NOT SURE IF SHE REALLY WANTS TO OR NOT! Then you're protecting her, and yourself! Let her stay on the couch and ask her again in the morning!

 

it's ok, I'm perfectly fine, I dont sleep with drunk people period (unless it was my g/f (if i had one ) and we went out together anyways), infact, I don't (well so far haven't) slept with anyone I'm not dating...

 

I was just pointing out, that plenty of women and men go out, get extremly drunk to the point they can barely walk and hook up, have sex, and then totally regret it in the morning, and SOME women might be tempted to cry rape... even though it was neither party's fault really, aside from the fact they should learn to not get so drunk...

[Jamie 10]

I think there are several issues here:

 

1. A woman should use her common sense, when it comes to how she looks and acts. She should consider that certain behaviour will attract the attenting of men, including undesireable / unscrupulous men who may seek to take advantage of her however they can.

 

2. However a woman chooses to look or behave in her interactions with man, it in no way excuses any man who rapes her.

 

3. It's no good worrying about who is to blame etc, once the deed has been done (what I'm saying here is that prevention is best, have your wits about you, and do whatever you can to prevent it happening to you).

 

4. When it gets to the stage of assigning blame in the eyes of the law etc, the law needs to act in a fair way, and find the culprit in any given case (and it may even be the case that woman is making it up, for whatever reason). The law needs to punish the guilty party.

 

5. I would imagine providing evidence to support any claim of rape isn't easy. Would DNA evidenve be OK? I guess the man can always say she consented ...

 

 

 

Have your wits about you, don't let yourself get in such a ****** state, that you're creating the opportunity for people to take advantage of you. Getting ******, or stoned, or whatever, are ways you surrender self-control (and hence personal safety) to some degree, just be aware and be careful.

[AtticusFinch 10]

I've always taken the view that only a very small proportion of women are capable of falsely crying rape.

 

To falsely accuse a man of rape is an act of pure, vicious spite. Any rape allegation sticks, even if the person is later acquitted. The women would have to have the will to raise the initial charges, partake in numerous police questioning sessions, go to court, endure aggressive cross-examination and then potentially see someone they knew was innocent get convicted of the charge. They'd know they were wrecking that person's life.

 

Women can be nasty when angered, but I honestly believe that only a very small proportion are callous enough to go through with a false rape accusation.

[xafier 10]

Daley: thats certainly true, but it does and has happened... and she could simply tell her friends, and maybe his friends if she knows them that her purposely got her drunk as hell and dragged her back for sex... thus making it the guys life extremly hard in his usual circle of friends and such...

 

again, this happens, women can be cruel... just as men can be complete b*****ds and actually do it

[Kthebean 10]

Well sure, this does happen. I don't want to turn this into a men vs women thread. Women sure can be evil.

 

However, the thread title in one third believe flirtatious women ask for rape. The debate about rape always gravitates on these situations 'who was more drunk' scenarios when really the worse situations are where women are trapped in violent relationships or the like.

 

Just muse for a second though - if only 5% of alleged rapes are convicted - are all those other women lying?

[Kthebean 10]

Originally posted by xafier

it's ok, I'm perfectly fine, I dont sleep with drunk people period (unless it was my g/f (if i had one ) and we went out together anyways), infact, I don't (well so far haven't) slept with anyone I'm not dating...

 

I was just pointing out, that plenty of women and men go out, get extremly drunk to the point they can barely walk and hook up, have sex, and then totally regret it in the morning, and SOME women might be tempted to cry rape... even though it was neither party's fault really, aside from the fact they should learn to not get so drunk...

 

 

By the way, I didn't mean 'you', I meant 'one', if ya know what I mean. I think you're a really sound guy from your other posts

 

I still think - crudely - men have to be sober enough to get it up.

[Jamie 10]

Originally posted by kathythebean

Just muse for a second though - if only 5% of alleged rapes are convicted - are all those other women lying?

 

I doubt it Kathy, I would think it's more a case of lack of evidence, or one person's word against another?

[chickmonk 10]

Rape charges hardly ever reach conviction.

 

In my experience, even when cases get to trial and even when there is overwhelming evidence, there is always plea bargaining. Rape charges get reduced to indecent assault or common assault (go figure??).

 

If you are a vulnerable victim (eg have learning difficulties) then forget it. They won't put the witness on the stand to give their own evidence so the defence has to make a plea bargain.

 

The whole system is a disgrace. Victim's personal details get given to all and sundry and there is often a complete lack of respect. The crown courts are still male dominated which doesn't help.

 

What I've seen would seriously make me think twice about going through the system if it happened to me.

 

Chicken Monkey

[Kthebean 10]

To my mind, the reason why a third believe that women ask for rape, is that most people still believe that rape only happens to young pretty drunk women, and is only perpetrated by older men.

 

Which is a myth.

[Kthebean 10]

Originally posted by Jamie

I doubt it Kathy, I would think it's more a case of lack of evidence, or one person's word against another?

 

I agree, but 95%!! Thats a lot of women who are either lying, or who's rapists are still out there.

[timo 10]

Kathy is quite correct here. Additionally the phrase 'aggravated rape' is coined all too often these days. It is usually an 'umbrella' term for vaginal or anal penetration with objects, instruments, knives etc, together with the most savage beatings.

 

No sane woman, even the most extreme masochist, would ever 'ask for' rape. The fact that women sometimes fantasise about rape, or include pseudo-rape in extreme forms of 'sex play' has nothing whatsoever to do with the vile reality. Rapists are to blame for rape. Men have the agency to control their sexual desire. Admittedly, aggressive sexuality may well be 'hard-wired' in evolved primates such as male Homo Sapiens, and only a fool would deny the influence of testosterone upon male behaviour, but ultimately we have the ability to override instinct. Contrary to what the infamous Judge Pickles once claimed [when judging a rape case], men can control themselves when aroused if they choose to do so.