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Metro: One Third Believe Flirtatious Women 'Ask' for Rape

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The Metro today has covered an Amnesty International report that revealed that up to one third of people believe that women who are flirtatious with men are at least partly to blame if they are then raped. It also states that a similar proportion think that those who wear revealing clothing or get drunk only have themselves to blame.

 

The kind of findings of this report makes my blood boil. But reports like this are very important in showing that the vast majority of rapes are still not viewed with the severity that it should be. There is still a significant part of the population who only think that rape is serious when a woman is dragged off the street and raped by a stranger.

 

I cannot comprehend why so many people think that a woman can be to blame for being raped. You don’t get this kind of attitude with any other crime. Think about if you went out, left your front door unlocked and were then burgled. The police came round and knew exactly who did it, but they decide not to prosecute because YOU had left your door unlocked. They decide not to prosecute because what else did you really expect the perpetrator to do? You left the door unlocked, so he really couldn’t do anything but steal your possessions. On top of that everyone around you thinks that you are also to blame and doesn’t even think about the person who committed the crime. The above view of burglary wouldn’t be acceptable and yet it is just the sort of attitude that women who have been raped meet all the time - and that is a crime a million times worse!

 

What scares me even more about this kind of attitude is what we are excusing about the men who commit these crimes. We are excusing their behaviour. We are saying “well he’s only a man, and you know what men are like where sex are concerned. If a woman has shown she may be interested in him then he just has no control over himself”. We’re saying that these men are no better than animals because they are just following their instincts, but because they are following their instinct then it is excusable, and if a woman wants to complain about it then tough. Well we are not animals, we are capable of civilised behaviour, and civilised behaviour does not include raping a woman because she has been drinking, has been flirtatious or is wearing revealing clothing. If a man really thinks any of the above gives him the green light to have sex with a woman with no further consent from her then he is warped, and it is his behaviour that is to blame for the rape, not the woman’s. The idea that a significant part of society, both men and women, then seek to place blame on the victim is just unbelievable.

 

If you are one of the people who think that women are to blame for being raped if they are drunk, or flirty, or dressed sexily, then think about it this way:

 

If you’re a woman who thinks this, how would you feel if it happened to you? If after a night out a man (who you probably already knew before that night) you had been indulging in a bit of flirtation with decided he would rape you. Would you honestly think that you were to blame for that rape? Or would you think that just possibly it might be entirely the blame of the man who raped you?

 

If you’re a man who thinks this, then how would you feel if your mum was raped, and the rapist used the justification of her being drunk or flirtatious? Would you be so ready to blame your mum, would you really feel that she only had herself to blame?

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Be careful with this 'evidence' that you have been given.

 

Often Newspapers can lie about this kind of stuff.

 

Only out of 1000 people

 

BBC News

The Amnesty International poll of 1,000 people also found over 25% believe she is at least partly to blame if she has worn revealing clothing or been drunk

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1000 people interviewed by Amnesty International. Unfortunately I can believe that the figures are accurate...

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Whatever the 'evidence' and whether or not you believe it there are still too many people who think women deserve to be raped or it's their own fault in one way or another.

 

While we still have judges who are lenient when sentencing convicted rapists 'because the woman was dressed inappropriately' then as a society we have a long way to go.

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This is the sixth time I have tried to post this reply, and each time the dratted machine has died on me ! grr!

 

Ok, here goes:-

 

What's that saying?

 

"The more things change, the more they stay the same!"?

 

Back in the eighties there were the campaigns such as "Reclaim the Night" and "No means NO!" trying to raise the awareness of this injustice.

 

The parochial attitudes from some quarters, that "the woman who 'will' is easy, the woman who 'won't' is frigid" need challenging.

 

if a woman is dressed in a short skirt, so what? It's her right to wear it, it's not an open invitation to her body.

 

I know I'm probably preaching to the converted,and singing to the choir, on this one, but anyone and everyone has the right not to have their body violated.

 

It is despicable that so few rape cases actually make it as far as court, and it is dreadful that so few prosecutions are secured.

 

That is a sad reflection on the nature of rape prosecutions, which in effect boil down to a simple tit-for-tat argument of

 

"She consented" ...

 

"No she didn't"

 

"Yes she did"

 

"No she didn't".

 

It's up to the jurors to decide if she was consenting, or not. Which as there are very rarely witnesses, it's almost always going to be her word against his.

 

Date rape is even harder to prove. Cos most of the time, rape is not committed by some stranger, who leaps out on a virginal young maiden from an alley, and violates her.

 

It's often a partner/ ex-partner, relative, friend, neighbour, workmate..... sister's boyfriend... it is a sad fact that 60 % of attackers are actually known to the person who is raped.

 

In court, a lot of the questioning used to be along the lines of "proving that she was 'easy' ", or that, *shock horror* she'd actually had a sexual relationship before the man attacked her

 

- which of course meant that the accused couldn't ] possibly have violated her.... No???

 

I am speaking as someone who, as a schoolgirl, was molested by a bloke who went to the same church as I did. When I went to the police, to report it, they simply weren't interested.

 

No-one deserves to be raped. A woman could be the biggest slapper out (to coin a phrase) or, she could be the most "virtuous virgin"... What 'Ever'!!! ...no matter what she is, that does not give anyone the right to assault her. Her body belongs to her, and no-one else.

 

PT

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I am a man who knows two women who were raped before i meet them one managed to come to terms and has made a full recover from it and leads a normal life... the other gave up let her self go and nearly ended her life this is just wrong......

 

They both ok and pulled through it but it has damaged them for life both of these women are close friends i have heard what they had to say they did nothing wrong but have a night out

 

as a man i believe the men who rape should be hung drawn and quartered.......

 

I Admit to seeing a lovely lady and thinking of being with her every man does but as you pointed out its all done to self control women were not but on this earth as pieces of meat but as equals and not to be hurt and abused i know if the tables were turned on me i wouldnt like it so why should all these women suffer in silence......

 

IT has to stop we should be worming these blokes out all its doing is giving ppl like me a bad name and makes it harder for me to find love.............

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Originally posted by Rude_Boy

IT has to stop we should be worming these blokes out all its doing is giving ppl like me a bad name and makes it harder for me to find love.............

 

I don't think it's giving people like you a bad name.

 

Thankfully good people represent the majority.

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No - it means NO! end of chat.

 

Stop- it means STOP end of chat.

 

dont do that- means exactly that.

 

that message has to be drummed into all males from an early age, and that to ignore or violate any part of that is unacceptable behaviour and WILL lead to loss of liberty.

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Originally posted by Rude_Boy

 

I Admit to seeing a lovely lady and thinking of being with her every man does but as you pointed out its all done to self control women were not but on this earth as pieces of meat but as equals and not to be hurt and abused i know if the tables were turned on me i wouldnt like it so why should all these women suffer in silence......

 

IT has to stop we should be worming these blokes out all its doing is giving ppl like me a bad name and makes it harder for me to find love.............

 

Well done for you rude boy.

 

I'm of the opinion that nothing will change until its not just women banging on about it. Men need to challenge other men about their perception of women, all that 'changing room' talk.

 

An interesting campaign I've been involved in - perhaps you'd like to get in touch banesmabes :)

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