Jamie   10 #13 Posted November 16, 2005 I think I get where you're coming from on this Dragon.  It's like leaving it up to 'fate', is somehow a refusal to engage in life. It's giving your power away to an external source (concept or whatever).  If you want something, better to make it happen, take action and make it be. Rather than just let it ride and hope it will work out all by itself.  Is that you're perspective on it?  On the other hand ............  You may be more concerned with how you 'set things up', how you position yourself, so that what you want will naturally ripen and fall in to your lap, like fruit from a tree. You've set things up, so that it comes to you, rather that you having to exert effort and go chasing after the thing(s) you desire.  I guess, it all comes down to horses for courses, what works best for you individually, and the circmumstances you find yourself in. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
DragonofAna   10 #14 Posted November 16, 2005 What about when the fates, or your actions, or inactions, bring about something that was meant to be and then those same 'things' cause it not to be?  Fact is that we are given opportunities in life, and sometimes we throw those opportunities away - albeit a pair of new shoes that will not be there on payday - and we find it easier to place the blame rather than accepting it as our own.  All the sayings seem to fit into that catagory.  Taking responsability is not accepting either the fates, or 'what is meant to be' or 'what is not meant to be'.  Spit in the eye of the fates and make it happen.  Dragon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Moon Maiden   10 #15 Posted November 16, 2005 in my experience, giving your power over to something else undoubtedly ends in disaster.  You always have a choice...to do something or nothing it is still a choice. Which makes it not fated but a choice you made to leave such an item on the stall or in the shop Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
DragonofAna   10 #16 Posted November 16, 2005 Agreed. However - on the counter side - there are often things we cannot help because such is beyond our ability or understanding. In these instances where the terms are applied then I think they cover a grey area.  It is much easier to tell someone who is upset that such a thing was not meant to be rather than a complete discourse on all the factors that may have led to that point in their life.  Still do not like the sayings even if sometimes I do think they may be applied - even if only to help someone cope.  Dragon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
DragonofAna   10 #17 Posted November 16, 2005 I have a witchy friend who is adamant that something is going to come about even though everyone else does not believe this. When asked about her reasons all she says is "Because it is meant to be". Now that makes about as much sense to me as all the others.  Go figure!  Dragon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
chickmonk   10 #18 Posted November 16, 2005 Ah yes, Dragon  Certainly these phrases can be seen as cop-outs. As you quite rightly say, they are self-fulfilling and are provable just by whatever has or has not happened. Something can change from 'what was meant to be' to 'what was not meant to be' as time goes on and a story unfolds.  Yes, we are responsible for our own choices, but some things can be beyond our control. In these cases, 'was meant to be' can step in as a comfort.  However, when it comes to jobs, I must say that I am a believer in 'what is meant to be will be'. Each time I have missed out on a job I've gone for, something much better has come along and I've thanked my lucky stars that I didn't get the job I missed.  The same happened to my mate so it must be true  chicken monkey Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...