Socially inept people, I need your help..

[Kthebean 10]

What are you on about?

 

Gatecrasher is hell on earth.

[JonJParr 10]

I hadn't noticed he was an ex-model.... am I supposed to be impressed by that? I'd be more impressed if you sought proper employment young man.

[spicey 10]

Originally posted by JonJParr

I hadn't noticed he was an ex-model.... am I supposed to be impressed by that? I'd be more impressed if you sought proper employment young man.

 

 

What's wrong with being a student?

[JonJParr 10]

Originally posted by spicey

 

What's wrong with being a student?

 

Absolutely nothing.... I used to be one myself. I was referring more to his escapades infront of the lens.

[1Man&hisBMW 10]

lol, bet you didn't expect replies like these! Mind you it would have been a gross misjudgement posting about geeks on Sheffield Forum! Most of the people on here only live because of this Forum..!

[spicey 10]

Originally posted by JonJParr

Absolutely nothing.... I used to be one myself. I was referring more to his escapades infront of the lens.

 

Must be the reason for his "God's Gift" attitude.

 

RentaKnight, theres nothing special about being a model, any guy who works out at the gym for a bit and slaps on a bit of powder can do it.

[chickmonk 10]

Hello Rentaknight

 

Are you reading all this stuff? Where have you got to? What you reckon to all that's been said?

 

Defend yourself good sir knight!

 

Chicken Monkey x

[Sidla 10]

I think you're all being fairly harsh on Rentanight. I think he's more concerned that his flatmates are unhappy rather than criticising them for being less sociable than him.

 

I don't mind telling you that during my years at uni, I never really spent time trying to get to know my flatmates. It wasn't because I didn't want to, it was just because I'm a shy person and it takes a lot of time to get to know me properly. I never really mixed well with any of my flat mates during my first and third years because they weren't the sort of people I like to mix with. During my 3rd year, I can only remember speaking to any of them a few time during the whole year! Although this didn't concern me too much, I was aware that I probably seemed fairly rude. My friends were mainly people on my course, and when I wasn't at uni during the day, I would spend most of the time in my room.

 

I think if you really want to get to know your flatmates better, you should simply say a quick hello when you see them, work it up to a 'hows your day been' and go from there. Don't be over-confident or it will scare them off and probably make them avoid you all the more. If you just make occasional small-talk, eventually they may open up a bit more and be more confident. If that happens, don't try and force them into doing things they don't want to do, i.e. going to Gatecrasher, otherwise you'll scare them off again.

[Jamie 10]

I have to agree with you Sidla, people are being unfairly harsh with Rentaknight, without knowing the details of what's going on, or his motivation for posting here.

 

I think it is a fair comment though, that he does come across as a little self-superiour in his post, however, that doesn't mean he is.

 

He could try just being easy and natural with them, don't try too hard though.

 

Yeah, and what's this 'Social Ladder' he mentions? I didn't know there was one.

 

[Rentaknight 10]

lol, bet you didn't expect replies like these!

 

Actually, I did. Although I had hoped people would restrain themselves a little more. If I were to pass judgement, which of course would put me down in your collective estimation even more so, I'd say you hate "my kind". I wasn't boasting about how great I am, just trying to put you in the picture, giving you all the facts, telling you what sort of person I am, a snap-shot of my life.. without a bit about me, I don't think any advice regarding my situation would have been very helpful. If I had just said "I'm a normal average run of the mill bloke" I bet your advice would of been VERY different. Ie. "Awww hunny don't beat yourself up about it, I'm sure it's their fault or their busy etc etc". It was running the risk of all this abuse but I felt it needed to go with the story.

 

Are you reading all this stuff? Where have you got to? What you reckon to all that's been said?

 

I am reading it all. Reading the actual posts containing advice carefully, and just skimming the abusive "You sound like a stuck up dick, no wonder they don't want to be your friend". Which is missing the point, I feel. Seeing as they aren't friends with each other, and have made zero effort to even be socialible in the first place. One guy didn't even initiate conversation the first time I met him. It's been the same way since. This baffles me. He came into the hallway and I said "Hi, I'm Andy" and he was like "Hi" and walked past me. I followed him into the kitchen and asked, cheerfully, how he was, how he was finding freshers, what course and he just gave one word answers. I'm not saying I can handle everybody, but I do ALOT of promoting, organising for groups, charity work (my brother is disabled), I help with my course night outs etc. I deal with alot of people on a regular basis, and none are this abrasive. I'm sorry but, the guy was extremely nervous, and his only responce was to be deadly silent and hope I go away.

 

As for you saying that you made "**** loads of friends" in London I can only remark that you've probably made very few here.

 

Like I said, I have friends on my course (I'm our course student rep, I got voted it!), I'm on TWO sports teams, in a few groups, I have friends at my barjob in town, friends from home. I don't want to be, take this phrase with a pinch of salt, BEST MATES with my flat-mates, I'd just like to be able to have a normal conversation and not be greeted by a wall of silence.

 

Most of the replies are stuck like a broken record, hung up on the idea that they have met me, evaluated me and decided not to talk to me cos I'm a moron/up my own arse/not their type. It's not like that. I've been super nice. They are just embarassingly boring/shy/imtimidated. In another word, IMPOSSIBLE. I mean just today, my mate came over to chill. I had very loud music on my headphones and wasn't expecting him so soon. My room is at the very end of the corridoor. I know most of them are in cos (Long explaination but I just do), and he was basically banging LOUD for about 25 mins! And none of them answered the door. I mean, C'mon! It's a door, it could be anyone. Sure it's not for them and it's "un-neccersary human contact" (LOL) but just... jeeeez!!!!! Hard to explain but this behavior isn't normal. I hear a door bang, and much more, when I hear it bang for more than 5 minutes if it's for me or not, I answer it.

 

I think you're all being fairly harsh on Rentanight. I think he's more concerned that his flatmates are unhappy rather than criticising them for being less sociable than him.

 

I wish I knew how to highlight text. That is my core feeling. I am concerned about them. I'm not saying "They are rubbish flat mates, help me bitch about them, people are geeks rah rah rah". I'm saying exactly that, that I'm concerned about them, and if I can be the one to get them all together, through my insight or effort then that's all I want. I don't want to change them, I was just appealing for insight or suggestions.

 

If I'm right, and these people in my flat are the same, as the people on this fourm, no wonder they aren't making any effort. You're all too goddam weird. (And that's being poliete about it!) So maybe I was asking for abuse, but yes, this is what I wanted. The honest view from the exact type of people I'm dealing with in my flat.

 

So go ahead, bitch at me, do you lot do any other tricks ? But if everyone made some bloody effort, rather than sitting in their rooms on their pc's the would would be a step better, for everyone.

 

Thanks to Sidla, probably the most helpful and... (drumroll) honest reply here. Actually just reaffirmed what I think is there biggest problem. If it can't be helped it can't be helped, but sorry for trying.

 

I think you should leave them alone. If you are worried about the tidyness of the flat, stick up a rota somewhere they will all see it (the fridge). However if they never use the kitchen, I doubt the place will be a mess?

 

Considering I have hardly communicated with them at all, I hardly think, putting up a rota on the fridge is the best way at reducing tension. "Hi, I know you don't know me, and I haven't dicussed this with anyone, but how about you all follow my rota". Be nice to just CHAT to them all about this sort of stuff.. I haven't got enough post-its left to put them about everywhere.

 

Anyway, let's see if this train-weak of a thread has any life left in it! Stop missing the point and play devil's advocate! Give me some advice, telling me how you think they're feeling.. rather than just saying "OMG GIVE UP PPL R DIFRENT LOL" and as a footnote adding "I bet you're a dick".

[Lucretia_73 10]

I wonder if the flat mates also read/post on the forum and recognise themselves from their 'descriptions'. Could describe a few people I know...physics geeks, computer geeks, weird goth girls - yup, yup and yup...

Did it really need all that typing just to say 'I don't understand my flatmates?'

Welcome to the world - people are different. Look to your own life, let others live their's, if no one is gettng hurt then everyone's a winner. I'm sure if they need your help/experience of the world/social 'skills' or just a dose of supreme ego they will ask!

[Rentaknight 10]

Another dart missing the board completely..

 

+ + Advice

- - cheap digs at me that get you, me and this thread nowhere

 

Welcome to the world - people are different.

 

Yes, I know. I'm trying to get some insight into how people different to me think. Sorry but if I'm going to be personal about it, which you all have anyway. (And I'm only doing this to highlight my point!) I pressed "Search" on your name. And on the first page alone (I didn't look furthur) you had one thread saying you like to live alone, you post on a singles thread for dates on the internet, and you listed ur hobbies as "books, t'internet". I'm don't feel like i'm dealing with well rounded people here!