How many men is it ok for a woman to sleep with..?

[banesmabes 10]

Originally posted by t020

It may be a double standard on a general, gender level, but on an individual level for me (and probably many other men) there's no double standard - I don't sleep around and I wouldn't want a girlfriend that had slept around either. It's a case of compatible morality, as well as minimising risk (of them having affairs, STDs, etc).

 

So how do you tackle a general double standard if you don’t tackle it on an individual by individual basis? Women are more forgiving of men who have had a lot of sexual partners than men are of women who have had a lot of sexual partners. So why is it that generally women can be more forgiving on this issue and not men? Yes, for some men who don’t sleep around it is not a personal double standard, but I have met men who have openly admitted to me (including the relationship I described earlier) that, although they have slept around, they wouldn’t be interested in a relationship with a woman who had.

 

It's all well and good every man on here saying it's not a double standard for them because they don't sleep around either, but that doesn't alter the fact that there are many men out there who think it is acceptable for them to sleep around, but who wouldn't want to settle down with a woman who had done the same. The title of this thread sums up the double standard nicely, because the question was only about women.

[Cyclone 10]

Originally posted by banesmabes

So how do you tackle a general double standard if you don’t tackle it on an individual by individual basis? Women are more forgiving of men who have had a lot of sexual partners than men are of women who have had a lot of sexual partners. So why is it that generally women can be more forgiving on this issue and not men? Yes, for some men who don’t sleep around it is not a personal double standard, but I have met men who have openly admitted to me (including the relationship I described earlier) that, although they have slept around, they wouldn’t be interested in a relationship with a woman who had.

 

It's all well and good every man on here saying it's not a double standard for them because they don't sleep around either, but that doesn't alter the fact that there are many men out there who think it is acceptable for them to sleep around, but who wouldn't want to settle down with a woman who had done the same. The title of this thread sums up the double standard nicely, because the question was only about women.

 

it's perfectly fair for men to say that (the ones who don't sleep around) you won't change anything by challenging them because they aren't being hypocritical.

Find the ones who are, and beat them with your handbag, that's what I recommend.

[intooblivion 10]

So if everyone stopped sleeping around then we would all be happier? I personally think it's better when you have feelings for someone which is why I think men and women differ because for a lot of men sex is just about getting off, for women it's more than just that.

 

No offence to any men.

 

The thread was started by a female

[intooblivion 10]

Originally posted by Old_Bloke

*looks innocent* Cos you need the toilet?

 

Funny funny! If I needed the toilet I would go x

[Pseudonym 10]

Originally posted by intooblivion

...I personally think it's better when you have feelings for someone which is why I think men and women differ because for a lot of men sex is just about getting off, for women it's more than just that.

 

No offence to any men...

Or conversely, to paraphrase Intooblivion...

 

I personally think it's better when you have feelings for someone which is why I think men and women differ because for some women sex is just about getting off, for some men it's more than just that.

 

No offence to any women.

 

It can work both ways, we all have our preferences.

 

To each, their own...

[Lucy_Smith 10]

Originally posted by banesmabes

I have to disagree - there is a double standard because it is something that is much more likely to bother men than it is women.

 

That's a real generalisation. How do you know this? Every woman I am friends with has a real issue with men sleeping around. Maybe you know people who are different but to be honest, I think you are just jumping on a bandwagon of things being ok for men but not for women. Sociologists tend to exaggerate in their research and a lot of the stuff about women being "slags" and men being "studs" was written in the nineties. Social values are forever changing and I personally think that women are much less happy to be in a relationship with a man who has slept around than they used to be. As health campaigns about unsafe sex and the like are beginning to sink in society's attitude changes.

[youwhatref 10]

Originally posted by banesmabes

So how do you tackle a general double standard if you don’t tackle it on an individual by individual basis? Women are more forgiving of men who have had a lot of sexual partners than men are of women who have had a lot of sexual partners. So why is it that generally women can be more forgiving on this issue and not men? Yes, for some men who don’t sleep around it is not a personal double standard, but I have met men who have openly admitted to me (including the relationship I described earlier) that, although they have slept around, they wouldn’t be interested in a relationship with a woman who had.

 

It's all well and good every man on here saying it's not a double standard for them because they don't sleep around either, but that doesn't alter the fact that there are many men out there who think it is acceptable for them to sleep around, but who wouldn't want to settle down with a woman who had done the same. The title of this thread sums up the double standard nicely, because the question was only about women.

 

I do have sympathy for what you put and women shouldn't accept that men generally aren't attracted to a woman who has slept with many partners but it is still a fact.

 

Lucy has been honest and stated that some women also find it unattractive in a man. IMO i feel women are generally more inclined to accept it as they are more attracted to that type of guy. Women (from my experience) are more attracted to confidence and cheekiness and thsi type of guy will obviously have had more partners etc (if that makse sense).

 

You hit the nail on the head with the reasons some guys are put off. IMO sex is something where there is more pressure on the guy to perform so it can lead to insecurities. Plus in addition i'm also put off if a guy i know has slept with this girl.

[t020 11]

Originally posted by banesmabes

So how do you tackle a general double standard if you don’t tackle it on an individual by individual basis? Women are more forgiving of men who have had a lot of sexual partners than men are of women who have had a lot of sexual partners. So why is it that generally women can be more forgiving on this issue and not men? Yes, for some men who don’t sleep around it is not a personal double standard, but I have met men who have openly admitted to me (including the relationship I described earlier) that, although they have slept around, they wouldn’t be interested in a relationship with a woman who had.

 

It's all well and good every man on here saying it's not a double standard for them because they don't sleep around either, but that doesn't alter the fact that there are many men out there who think it is acceptable for them to sleep around, but who wouldn't want to settle down with a woman who had done the same. The title of this thread sums up the double standard nicely, because the question was only about women.

 

 

Well I don't have double standards, so maybe you should, as Cyclone suggests, find the men that do have the double standards and "beat them with your handbag".

[banesmabes 10]

Originally posted by t020

Well I don't have double standards, so maybe you should, as Cyclone suggests, find the men that do have the double standards and "beat them with your handbag".

 

Nah, I’ll just try to convince them that it really doesn’t matter a bit how many sexual partners someone has had. If everyone accepted that then there wouldn’t be any double standards.

[t020 11]

Originally posted by banesmabes

Nah, I’ll just try to convince them that it really doesn’t matter a bit how many sexual partners someone has had. If everyone accepted that then there wouldn’t be any double standards.

 

 

Why should everyone be forced to think the same as you? Aren't other people entitled to their own opinions? To a lot of people, it DOES matter how many sexual partners someone has had for the reasons discussed several times throughout this thread. Such opinions are just as valid as your opinion that it "doesn't" matter. And there's certainly NO double standards involved in what myself and people such as Snook were saying (i.e. we don't sleep around so wouldn't want a partner that had). Off the high horse, sweetcheeks.