Rivelin6   11 #85 Posted December 10, 2010 I read your post as meaning that he isn't ready to move on and plan future babies just yet too. I know that part of you needs to feel that you're doing what you can to conceive again, but the part of you that needs to grieve and go through the tough stuff first takes priority I think. One of my friends has had a number of miscarriages but one loss in particular was hard for her because she lost the baby late on enough that she got to hold him to say goodbye. She conceived the baby that she went on to have last year very soon after losing this baby and she went all the way through the pregnancy struggling to cope because she hadn't grieved for the baby she lost as she really needed to.  It's natural that you're going to have sad times, like during the week that your baby was due to be born and the like, but you owe it to yourself, your partner and your future babies to be able to complete the process of grieving for baby no1 before you confuse the picture with another baby. Your first baby will always be your first baby, whether or not you go on to have other babies and nothing will ever change that.  Take the time to nurture each other and your relationship during this time too- your family needs to survive this process in an emotionally healthy state and hurtling headlong into TTC again before you have both healed and got back onto a more even footing then I think that would be a mistake.  Very wise words Medusa Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
wondertec   10 #86 Posted December 11, 2010 Thanks Guys, it really does make sense not to rush things when you put it like that! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
SHsheff   10 #87 Posted December 11, 2010 I sugggested that maybe the festive period would be a good time to 'get back into the bedroom swing of things' and he said 'yeah, i'll go and buy some condoms'......erm, why??  Have you been told to wait a while eg six months before getting pregnant again? Your OH could have been shaken by the devastation the mc caused to you and to your body, and might need a bit of time before he wants to try for a baby - for your sake, as well as his? Maybe he thinks a few weeks of just recreational fun is needed before things get too serious again? And, for what it's worth, that's maybe not such a bad idea.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
wondertec   10 #88 Posted December 11, 2010 Have you been told to wait a while eg six months before getting pregnant again? Your OH could have been shaken by the devastation the mc caused to you and to your body, and might need a bit of time before he wants to try for a baby - for your sake, as well as his? Maybe he thinks a few weeks of just recreational fun is needed before things get too serious again? And, for what it's worth, that's maybe not such a bad idea....  No, the hospital just said to wait one period, but that was only so that the could date a subsequent pregnancy. I'm going back for a follow up appointment on tuesday so i can ask them all that. I think he wants to enjoy xmas without any 'baby talk' or worries and i can see his point if i'm being honest, i gues i'm just worrying that i'm going to have trouble getting pregnant again, i don't know why!! I think i'm just battling with my own emotions and feelings at the mo and projecting them onto him.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Rivelin6 Â Â 11 #89 Posted December 11, 2010 No, the hospital just said to wait one period, but that was only so that the could date a subsequent pregnancy. I'm going back for a follow up appointment on tuesday so i can ask them all that. I think he wants to enjoy xmas without any 'baby talk' or worries and i can see his point if i'm being honest, i gues i'm just worrying that i'm going to have trouble getting pregnant again, i don't know why!! I think i'm just battling with my own emotions and feelings at the mo and projecting them onto him.... Yes that's probably true, if you got pregnant before there shouldn't be a problem again but we all like to prove it. Give yourself a breather over Xmas and reassess things in the new year. xx Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
mazclaz   10 #90 Posted December 17, 2010 (edited) Onetwothreefour Edited December 27, 2011 by mazclaz Error Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
wondertec   10 #91 Posted December 18, 2010 It is getting easier day by day and even though i think about everything, every day, i cry a lot less. I went for a follow up appt at the hosp on tues and had a chat which sorted a lot of things out for me in my mind, i've had a period so am ok to start to try again, whenever WE feel ready to do so.... It's been such a hard, lonely and emotional journey that nothing can prepare you for but now, at last, i can say it is getting easier and less painful. I'm looking forward to the New Year and all the good stuff that will happen *fingers crossed*  Thank you again to everyone for all your support.x. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
