Advice needed for a friend on possible pregnancy

[DragonofAna 10]

I'm in the same boat as you mandy25 from the opposite perspective I suppose.

 

Just because most of the men you know, JBee, are likr that does not constitute most men in general. Think that should be made clear, especially considering there are lots of men who would like to be involved in the raising of their kids but are denied it, either by not being told a child is theirs, or being denied any access after this has been pointed out.

 

It is an old myth that blokes automatically assume a female has become pregnant on purpose in order to trap them into a relationship. The men who think this would not really need the excuse not to become involved anyhow.

 

If the female is pregnant then she shoulld inform the father, without suggesting any pressure of a relationship through this.

 

I know females who have been taking all manner of contraceptive and yet they have still become pregnant. No pill or such is 100% proof against pregnancy. Most men generally accept this as a fact.

 

Dragon

[YvonneG 10]

Ive just spoken to a REALLY LOVELY guy who never knew he was a dad until 3 months ago. The daughter is 31, he is 54!.

 

There was some confusion at the time of pregnancy - everyone assumed it was the other "contender"!

 

I think he is really sad that he never was involved in her upbringing.

 

They are making up for lost time now - Just goes to show you its never too late, and men should not be denied access to their kids.

[DragonofAna 10]

Originally posted by YvonneG

They are making up for lost time now - Just goes to show you its never too late, and men should not be denied access to their kids.

 

I'd like to meet someone who can disagree with this. So far I have not found a single person who disagrees, except those who are stopping a partner from seeing their children, unless there is risk of abuse, for instance.

 

Dragon

[YvonneG 10]

I dont think you can judge - If only things were that black and white. There could be a million reasons why a father doesnt have contact with his kids. Through chioce, being denied, not knowing or other circumstance.

 

Look at Steve Coogan and Courtney Love - 2 wild weeks in Vegas and theyve got a baby as the result.

 

Those two werent a match made in heaven - They never planned to be parents but they have to look at the best way forward. (i feel sorry for the baby!)

 

He lives in Manchester, she lives in LA - They are worlds apart - Its not going to be easy - maybe i should ask them to come on the documentary i'm making for a DNA test, just to make sure the child is really his!

[sugarnspice 10]

Yes she needs to get a pregnancy test done asap, there's little point worrying about the consequences if she doesn't know yet. That's the first thing she needs to do.

[JBee 10]

Originally posted by Dragon

Just because most of the men you know, JBee, are likr that does not constitute most men in general. Think that should be made clear, especially considering there are lots of men who would like to be involved in the raising of their kids but are denied it, either by not being told a child is theirs, or being denied any access after this has been pointed out.

Dragon

 

Blimey Dragon, you were up late last night!

 

I'd like to point out a couple of points on the comments you made above.

 

First of all, I'm well aware that it doesn't constitute men in general. I never said it did. That's why I specifically wrote about the men I have encountered. I wrote: "I know that not ALL men are like that, but the ones I've encountered have been."

I realise that not all men are like that (as I said in the post you have objected to), and I'm looking forward to meeting the ones that arn't! I'm also encouraged by the fact you felt the urge to post in defence of your sex.

 

Secondly, I know there are men desperately trying to get access to their kids. I don't think I referred to this in my post at all, so I don't see how it's relevent. But for the record, I've been involved in helping several men fight for the right to see their children, through my job, and I fully support them.

[DragonofAna 10]

Sorry JBee - crossed wires. It was Yvonne who made the point first that partners should be allowed to see their kids no matter what and I was agreeing with her.

 

Sorry you have only encountered men who are as bad as it seems from your comments. On the behalf of us losers, however, I would like to state that women seem hell bent on chasing after the scumbag who treats them worse than he would treat his dog. If he is mean and does not seem to care one way or another - you can bet that he will not have to look very far for female attention.

 

Whatever - it always boils down to the fact that the nice guys always finish last.

 

But appologies if you thought I was having a go at your comments unjustly.

 

Dragon

[Funky Dave 10]

I know this is way off topic, but Jeez!! As a "relative" young 'un you people seriously put me off the idea of being a parent. It sounds like hell. I'm not sure if I ever dare speak to a laydee now, let alone contemplate having a family with one!

[Pseudonym 10]

Originally posted by Funky Dave

I know this is way off topic, but Jeez!! As a "relative" young 'un you people seriously put me off the idea of being a parent. It sounds like hell. I'm not sure if I ever dare speak to a laydee now, let alone contemplate having a family with one!

You should be grateful Dave... You've evidently learned a valuable lesson... Steer clear of women, they're a very strange species indeed!

 

And if that proves impossible, at least never get married... And teach your kids to follow the same philosophy!

[DragonofAna 10]

Not sure about steering clear of women but the saying "Treat em mean - keep em keen" certainly seems to work for some. Just love them and leave them matey. Never attempt to build up a real relationship in as much as always keep your guard up and have something in reserve. That way when they invent some excuse for leaving you - it may not hurt quite so much.

 

Apparently they are not all bad. I'll let you know if I find one that isn't.

 

(This post is made tongue in cheek before you females get all rabid)

 

Dragon

[Grim 10]

Originally posted by Dragon

I'll let you know if I find one that isn't.

 

Bagsy a place on the waiting list!!!

[sugarnspice 10]

Originally posted by Funky Dave

I know this is way off topic, but Jeez!! As a "relative" young 'un you people seriously put me off the idea of being a parent. It sounds like hell. I'm not sure if I ever dare speak to a laydee now, let alone contemplate having a family with one!

 

Aaaaaww no! I love it & think you should go and have many mini Funky Dave's for sure.