What's happened to the male sex drive?!

[Guest]

to be honest I think that sex is overated (spot the man not getting any ).

 

I very happy to cuddle up in bed as opposed to wanting sex evertime I'm in bed with someone (I'm not talking about teddy btw )

 

Part of the what I miss most about being single is the intimacy

[xafier 10]

Wish I was getting sex once a week! Personally I have a rather high sex drive... but I am only 20 doesn't mean I want sex 24/7 but I do like very intimate relationships... my last r/ship we usually had sex 1 - 3 times per day when we was together... sometimes more

 

there were times when I haven't wanted to put out, usually when she's assuming that she can get whatever she wants when she wants... women dont like it, neither do we!

 

guys aren't machines same as women arent

[medusa 16]

Originally posted by widemonk

If I were you, I wouldnt wait. When applying for a new bank account, while he might not live there 'now', he'd still put it down as a previous address. As for a life to go to, surely thats up to him to decide where to life and what he does regarding work & social life (and funding that social life) etc.

 

Having said that, it raises the ugly situation that because you're married, although the house was yours for years, he's also unfortunately now entitled to half.

 

He understands exactly why I can no longer cope with the situation and everything is very amicable.

 

We have agreed a clean break- I'll sign away my rights to his future earnings (I'm on disability benefits) and he'll sign away his rights to the house.

 

But we can't do any of that stuff until the bank get their finger out and actually open the bank account for him so he has a way of paying for a new place! At present his wages get paid into my bank account and we're separating the 'stuff' we have shared for so long, waiting for the letter to drop on the doormat so he can have some independence. We'll get there in the end!

[medusa 16]

Originally posted by Dragon

If a person wants they can change themselves, and if the marriage or relationship is important enough then that change will be genuine.

 

Depression is one reason for a failure to achieve this, but that does not mean the person does not love you. What it can mean is that they are incapable of understanding how to deal with this emotion and may well require the kind of help you cannot get from the doctors.

 

If it is worth saving then fight to save it. Just giving up is not the answer.

 

Dragon

 

Very good spotting of the signs there. The depression was the death knell for the relationship, which was already coping with his Aspbergers and PTSD, and my cancer and disabilities.

 

He has been in therapy and treatment from a psychiatrist for 4 years, and has openly told me that he doesn't love me for a couple of years. When my mental health began suffering from the strain I explained to him that the choice was his- either our marriage mattered enough for him to make changes and seek extra help, or it didn't.

 

He is the one that chose that our marriage (and me) didn't matter enough to prioritise getting help. If he's not prepared to work on his problems and participate in a marriage, rather than continue with putting me down to make himself feel better, whether or not I want to fight for the marriage is irrelevant.

 

Fighting doesn't come in at this point- it's either consent to be a doormat or try to give my self a chance at stability alone.

 

It's taken years of hard thinking to get to this point-I do agree that relationships are worth fighting for, but there are limits, and I reached mine when he stole money off a member of my family and then accused me of siding with them when I paid it back and apologised for him.

[Chris_Sleeps 10]

Originally posted by intooblivion

[...] WE reject you.

I think i've found your problem.

[*Twinkle* 10]

Originally posted by sugarnspice

Well this doesn't sound right to me. Men? Not wanting sex? Men saying "no, can we just have a cuddle?". What????!!!

 

And what planet does this happen????!!!!!

 

I was just thinking the same thing... In almost 3 years of being with my BF, I have never heard "Can we just cuddle" and we've been living together for a third of our relationship!! lol! Most of the time, we're good at reading eachothers signals... IE: he can tell if i'm not up for it and vise versa...

This is not to say we never cuddle... We're very intimate and cuddly lol... Can't keep our hands off eachother lol!

In our relationship, cuddles mean just as much as full blown hows your father.. Each are important, yet at the right time I'm pleased to say that the timing is usually always quite right

[peterdo 10]

You are a wicked, wicked woman Intooblivion. You know that Slimsid2000 would give his right arm to get laid, and here you are talking about men who have got it on offer and knocking it back. Just the thought of that would have him crying in his beer.

[wolfman 10]

It just means that their female partners aren't 'turning' them on, or perhaps they're seeing several other women on the side!

[intooblivion 10]

Originally posted by wolfman

It just means that their female partners aren't 'turning' them on, or perhaps they're seeing several other women on the side!

 

NO! men just generally are not interested anymore.

 

Hehe, so maybe it was just one bloke for me. But ALL my friends with boyfriends are having the same problems. Men just don't care about sex anymore. Guess one night stands men probably try harder...or at the beginning of the relationship. Couple of months down men claim they just like it once a week. Not good enough guys.

 

TRUE TRUE TRUE

[Saifa 10]

Reminds me of a carry on film (cant remember which one)

 

Ken Williams "Matron please! You must remember I was once a weak man".

 

Matron "once a week's enough for any man".

 

[nick2 10]

Originally posted by intooblivion

Guess one night stands men probably try harder...or at the beginning of the relationship. Couple of months down men claim they just like it once a week. Not good enough guys.

 

You could see it as that or you could see it as men see women on one night stands as just a quick shag, sex is all they want, but once they get into a relationship they want other things like cuddling etc. and sex becomes less important. Perhaps men realy do like sex once a week, their not doing it just to p*ss you off.

 

It's not a recent "change" in men, I mean, how often do you think your parents have sex ?

 

If women just want endless sex day and night I would suggest they become prostitutes.

[Bully_Beef 10]

Originally posted by Saifa

Reminds me of a carry on film (cant remember which one)

 

Probably all of them, they're pretty much interchangeable

 

You could see it as that or you could see it as men see women on one night stands as just a quick shag, sex is all they want, but once they get into a relationship they want other things like cuddling etc. and sex becomes less important. Perhaps men realy do like sex once a week, their not doing it just to p*ss you off.

 

I think this is spot on.

Sometimes as a man, all you want is to empty your nuts, and the thought of pleasuring a woman properly seems like too much effort...so you resort to a bit of DIY:P