What's happened to the male sex drive?!

[the_rudeboy 12]

Originally posted by intooblivion

Oh nooo, men are great at first, want it all the time but they soon get over that

 

Maybe you just dont keep it exciting and adventurous.

 

Afraid this 'wanting it once a week' nonsense is completely alien to me.

[dirtybobby 10]

Originally posted by nick2

Pleasing women looks like an impossible task.

 

nail on head..

[intooblivion 10]

Originally posted by dirtybobby

nail on head..

 

It really isn't that hard! We're not as complicated as men like to think we are.

[banesmabes 10]

Originally posted by intooblivion

NO! men just generally are not interested anymore.

 

Hehe, so maybe it was just one bloke for me. But ALL my friends with boyfriends are having the same problems. Men just don't care about sex anymore. Guess one night stands men probably try harder...or at the beginning of the relationship. Couple of months down men claim they just like it once a week. Not good enough guys.

 

TRUE TRUE TRUE

 

Is sex really so important that you feel the need to put pressure on your partner because you don't think he wants it often enough? There is so much more to a relationship than sex. How would you feel if someone was pressuring you into having sex more than you wanted to? For some reason we seem to feel it is acceptable to pressure men into sex - I don't think is acceptable for anyone to do this.

[dirtybobby 10]

Originally posted by intooblivion

It really isn't that hard! We're not as complicated as men like to think we are.

 

i wasn't talking about sexually.. believe me, i have no problem with that (why do you think my mates nicknamed me "dirtybobby"? )..

 

i just mean in general.. striking that perfect balance between "nice" and "firm" is hard to maintain on a permanent basis.. and when we slip, boy do we know about it lol..

[intooblivion 10]

Originally posted by banesmabes

Is sex really so important that you feel the need to put pressure on your partner because you don't think he wants it often enough? There is so much more to a relationship than sex. How would you feel if someone was pressuring you into having sex more than you wanted to? For some reason we seem to feel it is acceptable to pressure men into sex - I don't think is acceptable for anyone to do this.

 

If the sex is good it equates to only 10% of the relationship. If it is not adequate it becomes 90% of the relationship. A balance is needed from both sides but constant rejection because someones sex drive is higher is harsh and can lower self esteem

[banesmabes 10]

Originally posted by intooblivion

If the sex is good it equates to only 10% of the relationship. If it is not adequate it becomes 90% of the relationship. A balance is needed from both sides but constant rejection because someones sex drive is higher is harsh and can lower self esteem

 

But you were not suggesting constant rejection (which I agree would be a problem), we're talking about two people with different sex drives - one partner wanting sex once a week, the other more often. This is not constant rejection as there is still sex in the relationship (and on a regular basis). Maybe you just have to accept that everyone is different. If you can't accept your partner for who he is then maybe you need to move on - although I know I wouldn't be too chuffed if someone left me for such a shallow reason as not providing enough sex!

[t020 11]

Originally posted by banesmabes

But you were not suggesting constant rejection (which I agree would be a problem), we're talking about two people with different sex drives - one partner wanting sex once a week, the other more often. This is not constant rejection as there is still sex in the relationship (and on a regular basis). Maybe you just have to accept that everyone is different. If you can't accept your partner for who he is then maybe you need to move on - although I know I wouldn't be too chuffed if someone left me for such a shallow reason as not providing enough sex!

 

But why should the person with the lower sex drive get it all their way? Surely the best thing is for both partners to compromise and meet somewhere in the middle.

[banesmabes 10]

Originally posted by t020

But why should the person with the lower sex drive get it all their way? Surely the best thing is for both partners to compromise and meet somewhere in the middle.

 

Because if the person with the higher sex drives gets their own way then they are pretty much forcing their partner to have sex when they don't really want to. What's worse, someone going without for a few days, or someone feeling as if they are being forced/co-erced into sex?

[t020 11]

Originally posted by banesmabes

Because if the person with the higher sex drives gets their own way then they are pretty much forcing their partner to have sex when they don't really want to. What's worse, someone going without for a few days, or someone feeling as if they are being forced/co-erced into sex?

 

Neither - like I said, the best solution is to compromise with a regularity somewhere between the two extremes. If the person with the lower sex drive really finds it that much of a chore, maybe they shouldn't be in the relationship at all? Also the person going without may start looking elsewhere. Sex isn't important when it's OK but it is when it isn't and can cause break ups. Compromising from BOTH partners would help avoid that.

[banesmabes 10]

Originally posted by t020

Neither - like I said, the best solution is to compromise with a regularity somewhere between the two extremes. If the person with the lower sex drive really finds it that much of a chore, maybe they shouldn't be in the relationship at all? Also the person going without may start looking elsewhere. Sex isn't important when it's OK but it is when it isn't and can cause break ups. Compromising from BOTH partners would help avoid that.

 

Well yes, as I suggested earlier, if it is really that important that you get your leg over as much as possible but your partner isn't willing then maybe you need a new partner. Even a compromise has it's down sides - first of all it's hardly romantic - "right, so you want it every night, I only want it once a week, so how about we go for Mons, Weds, and Sats?", and then the arguments start when the compromise isn't met in any particular week. And would you really want to sleep with someone thinking that they are only doing it because of a compromise and not because they really want to?!? In my book, quality is much better than quantity. If you have a partner who wants to have sex with you, but not as often as you'd like, then just learn to live with it - it won't kill you.

[sunflower_gb 10]

find the balance that suits you both...no pressure on either partner then