Visiting the past and how life is too short - has anyone else felt this way

[pickety-witch 10]

i revisited my past today and it really hurt things made me realise i was stupid selfish and daft and i mean my cousin died almost two monthes ago of a heart attack at 29 after just having her second child he was 3 weeks old and she died it as made me realise how precious life is and how we should try and make ammends for past mistakes and try and not to hurt people in the future i truly regret alot of stuff i have done now in my past and wish i could change it and i wish i could take away pain i've caused people that mean so much to me and all i wish is to be given a chance not to be forgiven but to be given a chance to put things right or at least try to and it is very true you don't know what you've got until it's gone as any1 else ever felt like me

[nanrobbo 12]

I expect most people have felt like this at some stage in life. The trick is to don't let life get your down- chin up girl- one cannot re-do the past so leave it just there-in the past. Regards Nan

[Guest Ant]

Regardless of how much you think you have changed, if you place yourself in the same situation again it is very possible that you would behave in the same way and cause far greater pain than you did the first time around. It can become a cycle which both parties can't break out of.

 

What goes around, usually comes around. It often takes someone else behaving in the same way towards you to make you realise just how much agony you caused by your own behaviour.

 

I am sure you have given your apologoies to the people you have hurt.

 

Move on and put the past behind you.

[DragonofAna 10]

I sincerely believe you are wrong Ant. That is the whole point in learning by your mistakes, or the mistakes of others. You still make more mistakes but not the same ones.

 

Looking back on the past need not only be a thing of misery and upsets. So many good things took place in your life. Even if it was no more than scaring the cat from beneath the car before the vehicle drove over it.

 

People are too quick to look back and see only the negative sides of the past, hardly sparing a thought for all the good that came out of whatever took place.

 

And in remembering the people we have lost - we do not lose them at all, but carry them with us in our thoughts and in our hearts. The person you fell out with and never got to say sorry to before they died - just honouring their memory is a way of saying sorry.

 

The past is what makes us who we are - good and bad - and there is no harm in remembering or taking that trip down memory road every now and then.

 

Dragon

[Guest Ant]

There may well be people reading your remorseful post who have been scarred by your past behaviour, as you are well aware, Kirsty. Talk is cheap. It's easy to post a message expressing remorse for treating people in the past like dirt. Express your remorse by way of improving your behaviour in future relationships. Public expressions of remorse tend to be purely self-comforting.

[Berberis 10]

Originally posted by lemonkirdy

i revisited my past today and it really hurt things made me realise i was stupid selfish and daft and i mean my cousin died almost two monthes ago of a heart attack at 29 after just having her second child he was 3 weeks old and she died it as made me realise how precious life is and how we should try and make ammends for past mistakes and try and not to hurt people in the future i truly regret alot of stuff i have done now in my past and wish i could change it and i wish i could take away pain i've caused people that mean so much to me and all i wish is to be given a chance not to be forgiven but to be given a chance to put things right or at least try to and it is very true you don't know what you've got until it's gone as any1 else ever felt like me

 

Can we have a whip round and buy lemonkirdy a full stop for her keyboard

 

I felt the same way when a familly member suddenly died. It made it clear to me how quickly someone you love can be taken away and you will never see or hear their voice again. Dont let it change your relationships, just cherish the ones you have and make the people close to you know you care about them.

[madowl 10]

There are many things in my life i want to change, but i cant do it as im affraid of the upset this would cause, i may be putting their feelings b4 my own but, i have changed my out look at life and have come to understand that its a gift why try to ruin it for other for a selfish act for myself.

[DragonofAna 10]

Madowl - how do you know that the selfish act would ruin it for others rather than enhavce their lives until you actually tried it?

 

Regret is pretty normal - but that has been covered by another thread. Wanting to change something or thinking how things could have been different is regret. We cannot live our lives by what ifs. It is better to learn to recognise our mistakes, decide if they were real mistakes, and to lead the rest of our short times on this planet with regards to those decisions.

 

MAy seem harsh but basically you will only ever do what you are supposed to do. You do not get any real options.

 

Dragon

[madowl 10]

Originally posted by Dragon

Madowl - how do you know that the selfish act would ruin it for others rather than enhavce their lives until you actually tried it?

 

Regret is pretty normal - but that has been covered by another thread. Wanting to change something or thinking how things could have been different is regret. We cannot live our lives by what ifs. It is better to learn to recognise our mistakes, decide if they were real mistakes, and to lead the rest of our short times on this planet with regards to those decisions.

 

MAy seem harsh but basically you will only ever do what you are supposed to do. You do not get any real options.

 

Dragon

life is not that simple when you have others to think about..... what ever we do in this life it effects others in one way or another, its not a case of regrets, or doing what your supposed to do... its also doing whats right.

[DragonofAna 10]

You can still harbour regrets. I regret more things that I did not do than the things I did. Sometimes the easy path through life is not the idael one to take.

 

We all suffer at the hands of others. Such is the way of life, and eventually we become the others who cause suffering. But do we take the plunge and accept our redgrets and do what we know to be right, or do we continue to live a lie and hope for the best?

 

Sometimes there are no simple ways, and every step forwards looks far too scary for us to take, but we need to examine our choices and recognise the ones that are right.

 

A favourite of mine is "There is no law beyond do as thou wilt. Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law. Love is the law. Love under will". I regret spending over 8 years with a partner I did not love though we had two fantastic children to show for it. I travelled the path I had to go along in order to reach the place I am now. Wonder where I would be if my path had been different.

 

Regrets are not a bad thing. Living without them does not mean you are perfect - just means you have much to learn - in my opinion. I could go on. I won't cos I do not want to bore you all.

 

Dragon

[Guest]

my past is ****e. And my future probably is ****e. I try and stay away from the past as I have regrets.

[pattricia 574]

Lemonkirdy, if the person you regret treating badly is now dead,write a letter to them,expressing how you feel and apologising for the way you treated them,say your sorry,then seal the letter in an envelope, and put it away. Each time you get these feelings ,take the letter out again,and read it again.