Am I just being paranoid?

[Ashapasha 10]

Thanks for the replies all - will try and answer as much as I can!

 

We live together. He says nothing has changed and says he is just not very good at talking about stuff, so I guess that should be a sign that I should leave it and accept it but I've told him I understand that he doesn't like to talk much but it would mean a lot to me if he could express himself a bit more, but still nothing changes.

 

I've tried doing sweet little things that I wouldn't normally do but he doesn't seem to massively appreciate it and when I've brought that up, he just says he wants me to be myself.

 

He tells me he loves me but only when I say it first.

[Ashapasha 10]

Also, yes we do still have sex - regularly!

 

It sounds as though nothing is wrong actually when I write it down like this, perhaps it's just me being paranoid as I said and I kind of hope that's the case and that I can chill out before things go wrong between us.

[rubydazzler 11]

Also, yes we do still have sex - regularly!

 

It sounds as though nothing is wrong actually when I write it down like this, perhaps it's just me being paranoid as I said and I kind of hope that's the case and that I can chill out before things go wrong between us.

Sadly, having sex with you regularly is not an indicator that a man loves you.

 

It might sound as though nothing is wrong, but he's making you unhappy. So something is wrong. If you've tried to make your case and you've not had a good response, how is it ever going to get any better?

 

It doesn't sound as though he's the right man for you. He's either emotionally unavailable or he's just not that into you. Either way, you're always going to feel bad. Better to be alone and content, than in a relationship and always feeling uncared for.

[rubydazzler 11]

im off work today ... asked the missus if she fancied going back to bed for a bit ...........she knocked me back saying she normally goes to her mates house on thursdays shes gone

Awwww! that harsh. Who is this mate, anyway? A female?

[HayleyJayne 10]

I don't really know why I'm posting on here, I don't know what people can say to help but my partner is driving me around the bend!!!

 

We've been together a couple of years now and it seems to be going into that phase where he's just loads more laid back about stuff and doesn't feel the need to make massive romantic gestures or say romantic things much to me anymore but I'm not in that phase yet and I completely get paranoid that he's just going off me! He says not and I hope he's right, I don't want to push him into going off me but this is driving me nuts.

 

Has anyone else ever struggled to adjust to this change in dynamics of a relationship? Is it all likely to be ok? I really want things to work and hope I am just being paranoid when I feel like he's backing off. I know it can't be sustainable for someone to always be super romantic, or at least I hope not, but I just want to get to a point where I feel comfortable with these changes in dynamics.

 

The same happened to me and my OH - you just get used to it and things settle after a while - he goes through fazes where he doesnt do romantic things but I have learned to know that he still loves me - he just has other stuff on his mind. I wouldnt worry - try to distratct youself with out things, might help x

[melthebell 862]

Awwww! that harsh. Who is this mate, anyway? A female?

lol yeah

 

anyway the deed was initiated at 2pm so..............

[boyfriday 21]

lol yeah

 

anyway the deed was initiated at 2pm so..............

 

..and you're on here at 6.30? That was a quickie mel!

[melthebell 862]

..and you're on here at 6.30? That was a quickie mel!

i dont have the tight trunks Oo

[rubydazzler 11]

..and you're on here at 6.30? That was a quickie mel!

No Reeling and Rocking til the break of dawn for our mel, then? Edited July 1, 2010 by rubydazzler

[Bozo 10]

Aaaah - this is your first world cup together. Give it a couple of weeks, you'll be sorted in no time!

[Aries22 10]

Surely you must know that after the first few weeks it's all downhill from then on. We been together for 50 years so l know what l talking about.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

w

[Suffragette1 10]

Sadly, having sex with you regularly is not an indicator that a man loves you.

 

It might sound as though nothing is wrong, but he's making you unhappy. So something is wrong. If you've tried to make your case and you've not had a good response, how is it ever going to get any better?

 

It doesn't sound as though he's the right man for you. He's either emotionally unavailable or he's just not that into you. Either way, you're always going to feel bad. Better to be alone and content, than in a relationship and always feeling uncared for.

 

I agree, although he could just be emotionally constipated rather than emotionally unavailable, which is equally as bad, emotional intelligence is one of the keys to a successful and functional relationship, IMO. Either way, if you're finding that hard to live with and need more reassurance of his feelings, then perhaps he is not the right person for you?

 

Sadly, as ruby says, regular sex is not necessarily an indicator that a man loves you, in fact, it seldom is. Sometimes actions can speak louder than words, but I wouldn't measure those in the bedroom department. What does he do to make you feel loved, in terms of his actions?