A dilemma with the opposite sex - GENUINE advice welcome.

[Sidla 10]

Wow! Where do we sign up?

[Jamie 10]

Yeah, that's an excellent post goldenfleece!

 

The thing about 'just being yourself' however, I think can mean several things.

 

I'd say do be yourself, but force yourself in to situations that (you think will) make you feel uncomfortable. While you're in that situation, relax and be natural, you don't need to work too hard to impress or pretend you're something you're not.

 

Feel comfortable within yourself, while in an uncomfortable situation.

 

Obviously, if something's not working, don't just be yourself, in the sense that you continue to do what you've just been doing, because you'll just keep getting what you've been getting (not much).

 

Whatever you fear to do, at any moment in your life, that's the thing you should be doing (unless it's something like jumping off a tall building with no parachute).

 

That's just what I need to do, and I know, every single time I've been afraid to talk to a girl (and there's been a few!) but I've gone and done it anyway, she's actually been quite pleasant and nice to me (much to my suprise).

 

I really think it's all about overcoming fear, and what's the best way to overcome fear ...

 

[edit]

 

Checkout this site for tips on overcoming fears.

[slimsid2000 10]

Originally posted by Tubthump

Slimsid:

 

You really need to take ecstacy, everything will look after itself after that.

 

Thanks for that helpful advice Tubthump. at least you didn't say cyonide, i should at least be greatful for that.

[goldenfleece 11]

 

I'd say do be yourself, but force yourself in to situations that (you think will) make you feel uncomfortable. While you're in that situation, relax and be natural, you don't need to work too hard to impress or pretend you're something you're not.

 

Feel comfortable within yourself, while in an uncomfortable situation.

 

Obviously, if something's not working, don't just be yourself, in the sense that you continue to do what you've just been doing, because you'll just keep getting what you've been getting (not much).

 

Whatever you fear to do, at any moment in your life, that's the thing you should be doing (unless it's something like jumping off a tall building with no parachute).

 

That's just what I need to do, and I know, every single time I've been afraid to talk to a girl (and there's been a few!) but I've gone and done it anyway, she's actually been quite pleasant and nice to me (much to my suprise).

 

I really think it's all about overcoming fear, and what's the best way to overcome fear ...

 

[edit]

 

Checkout this site for tips on overcoming fears. [/b]

 

 

EXCELLANT!! Its all about confronting your fears and simply diving in and dealing with them. SO many times when I go out do I see guys standing around in clubs with a drink, and HIDING behind their drink, and I see them LOOK at some women and its obvious they want to talk to them...but they just hop about from one foot to the other and look miserable and do NOTHING..

 

THE ONLY CURE IS TO DIVE STRAIGHT IN AND FOLLOW THE BASIC RULES...

 

1) eye contact and holding the gaze with girl for more than 3 seconds

2) Approaching her and engaging her in a conversation that has a clear direction and potential to develop into other subjects and NOT "DID IT HURT WHEN U FELL OUT OF HEAVEN BABE"!!!!

3) If she is with a group of friends know HOW to get her away from her friends at the right moment and form that all important social and personal BOND which is the right ingredient to get a date!!

4)Realize that women LOVE confidence blended with a certain amount of teasing...

5) GET A DATE...

 

The rules have never changed, just the way they are played.

ANYONE..regardless of looks (TOTALLY REGARDLESS) can date the most beautiful woman in the room IF they can get the first 2 points above right....after that, with an invitation to approach via body language and good conversation with an unlimited potential for ongoing development, the only way you can FAIL to get a date is if you **** it all up and reveal lack of confidence at any single moment......even if the girl is seeing someone else you can get a date with her......if you choose too.....remember that most men give all women the power to control them by treating themselves as unworthy of chatting to such a beautiful woman as they feel they wont be good enough...turn things around and make yourself in total control.....

 

Beautiful women get chatted up all the time, every day, they are BORED silly and reject 99% of these as most come from guys using outrageous cheesey chat up lines or from nervous guys with no self confidence trying to sort out their inhibitions about women...DONT BE ONE OF THOSE.....what you need to do is not be intimidated by them and not appear to worship the ground they walk on.....they are just people like all of us and we are all worthy.

 

This could go for a long time this thread......so much to say on this subject...

[Sidla 10]

So, Dr. Love (and I don't mean that in a sarcastic way), regarding rule 2. You see a girl you like and do the eye contact thing. What do you chat about?

 

This could be a whole new thread.

[sugarnspice 10]

Originally posted by goldenfleece

1) eye contact and holding the gaze with girl for more than 3 seconds

 

See, this would get me straight away. Instantly flattered (or easily pleased? ). x

[Cyclone 10]

Originally posted by Sidla

So, Dr. Love (and I don't mean that in a sarcastic way), regarding rule 2. You see a girl you like and do the eye contact thing. What do you chat about?

 

This could be a whole new thread.

 

I don't suppose the actual topic is vitally important, just so long as you can hold a conversation and don't pick something as a topic that she hates.