Beginning of my first novel. All advice appreciated!!

[Amaranthus 10]

I feel that sharing your writing with people is like sharing a piece of your soul, it's very intimate.

 

This is a very rough first draft and much of the story is still in the ideas stage. I know my grammar and punctuation is far from perfect so I welcome any corrections... I won't be offended!

 

Please not also that this is just the beginning of a novel I'm working on so it won't be as satisfying as reading a completed story but please read it anyway as I would really love some feedback.

 

Okay enough stalling, here it is...

 

An angel to watch over me. - Word 2007 Docx. file

 

An angel to watch over me. - Word 2003 doc. file

Edited March 29, 2010 by Mantaspook
Amended links added.

[Ron Blanco 10]

Hi Shaz. Yes I can read it now.

Edited March 29, 2010 by Ron Blanco

[Amaranthus 10]

Mantaspook

 

GL NOTE

 

Try these links.

 

An angel to watch over me. - Word 2007 Docx. file

 

An angel to watch over me. - Word 2003 doc. file

Edited March 29, 2010 by Mantaspook
Added Word 2003 link.

[Amaranthus 10]

Hi Shaz. Yes I can read it now.

 

Honest opinion? I won't be offended.

[Ron Blanco 10]

Hi Shaz. Don't despair, you will get some feedback eventually.

[coyleys 10]

Ron is right Shaz, I will try and get time to read over the weekend.

Putting time into perspective, I’m still waiting for comments on my Christmas tale.

Edited April 3, 2010 by coyleys

[Amaranthus 10]

Ron is right Shaz, I will try and get time to read over the weekend.

Putting time into perspective, I’m still waiting for comments on my Christmas tale.

 

Haha, I can take a hint , I found your story and have left a reply.

[coyleys 10]

Well Shaz, I half expected a Kung-fu story, something on the lines of ‘The magnificent seven’, but this is excellent, and I’m puzzled, how come you joined the forum in 2005 but this is your first story. You have quite a talent there and it should be nurtured.

The story so far has lots of potential and I just hope I’m to see the finished article; it’s a bit too good for me to offer advice on so you will just have to wait for Mantas or Ron to comment.

Great stuff Shaz.

[Amaranthus 10]

Well Shaz, I half expected a Kung-fu story, something on the lines of ‘The magnificent seven’, but this is excellent, and I’m puzzled, how come you joined the forum in 2005 but this is your first story. You have quite a talent there and it should be nurtured.

The story so far has lots of potential and I just hope I’m to see the finished article; it’s a bit too good for me to offer advice on so you will just have to wait for Mantas or Ron to comment.

Great stuff Shaz.

 

Thanks man, it doesn't come that easily to me, I often write a couple of pages and then read it back later on and think it's total rubbish, then have to do it all over.

 

I only started getting into writing about two and a half years ago, and even then I wasn't taking it seriously. I was going through a hard time and started a diary, which is what got me into writing in the first place. It was only when a couple of people told me I had something worth pursuing that I thought I'd give it a real go. I'm still not that disciplined with my schedule but I'm hoping I can finish this story by next year.

 

I know why you thought I'd be writing a kung fu story, it's because of this thread isn't it? Well I soon realised my idea for that story was a little too epic for a newb and decided to put it on a back-burner for a few years, until I'm a bit more experienced. I know I couldn't do it justice at the minute.

[sauerkraut 10]

Hi Shaz, I’m just emerging from hibernation to post a few thoughts since you haven’t had much feedback so far. I’ve only had a quick skim through but I saw some great potential. I’m still a learner at this writing business myself, so I’ll mention the main thing that struck me as a reader: I found it frustrating that I couldn’t follow one character or one situation. No sooner was I introduced to someone than I was taken away from them and introduced to someone else. I didn’t know who I was supposed to be rooting for.

 

It may sound mad, but I’m not sure it’s worth worrying about detailed critiques at this stage, though. You can obviously write, even if it needs some polishing yet, so how about simply pressing on to get the whole story written, then going back and re-writing once you’ve seen which theme or character has taken the lead?

 

I’ve been told it’s quite common for newbies (among whom I include myself) to “write their way in” to a story. That’s certainly what’s happened with my own novel-in-progress. I’m nowhere near the end yet but I can already see that my first chapter is irrelevant. I’ve gone over it countless times to make it sound the best I can and I realise now I’ve just been procrastinating – polishing the opening instead of getting on with writing the rest. I shall probably simply miss that chapter out completely and my story won’t suffer for it. Far better to get to the end and worry about the details on the re-write.

 

Just my humble opinion, though it is advice I’ve heard from several sources now! I hope it might be of some use to you .

[coyleys 10]

Nice to hear from you Sauerkraut, I hope you enjoyed the hibernation.

An interesting comment and I think I get your drift, but could you or anyone else expand on “write their way in to a story”. I assume it means one starts at the beginning and just plows their way through, making the story up as they go. Yes, No?

[sauerkraut 10]

Hi coyleys & thanks. Hibernating makes one a bit befuddled so please bear with me if I'm not making much sense

 

As for "writing yourself into the story," I take that to mean the writer using the opening pages (or paragraphs) to warm up. Finding their feet, so to speak, before the story properly gets going. So it's not quite the same as making it up as you go along (i.e. without having an outline beforehand), but more about writing for a while before you realise where the story actually starts.

 

Don't know if that helps or not...