Story - the little girl who went to hell - religion

[Ron Blanco 10]

for some reason(i can't help this) i see the kid always being too careful from then on about hurting others

 

Intersting point Kaimani. I will give it some thought. Thanks for your comments. Rob.

[krishanspock 10]

how do you get the password thing for this?

[Geza 10]

how do you get the password thing for this?

 

Well I'm glad you asked that question- otherwise I would never have read this little story. (At the top of the main page, Krishanspock, there is a thread for gaining the passward and username.)

 

Ron this was lovely.

Totally made me cry (I regularly cry at Holby City too by the way so you could decide that I am just emotionally unhinged) and was full of poignant little descriptions.

 

Beautiful.

[De Batz 10]

I enjoyed reading that, thank you! It's a privilege to read other people's work.

 

There was a charming sort of innocence about the writing which did give it the suggestion of a child's writing. The sentences are short and punchy, generally getting to the point without over-elaboration, though you do choose some well-considered descriptive phrases.

 

Don't be afraid to use 'said'. I do think it's something that is taught out of you at school and whilst it can grate, it isn't a failure to use it. Concentrating on the reality of what is said - and getting the point across in the conversation, as you have - reduces the importance of the verb you pick.

 

Anyway, hope that makes sense. Looking forward to your next work.

 

Andy