Ron Blanco   10 #13 Posted May 15, 2010 for some reason(i can't help this) i see the kid always being too careful from then on about hurting others  Intersting point Kaimani. I will give it some thought. Thanks for your comments. Rob. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
krishanspock   10 #14 Posted March 16, 2011 how do you get the password thing for this? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Geza   10 #15 Posted March 17, 2011 how do you get the password thing for this?  Well I'm glad you asked that question- otherwise I would never have read this little story. (At the top of the main page, Krishanspock, there is a thread for gaining the passward and username.)  Ron this was lovely. Totally made me cry (I regularly cry at Holby City too by the way so you could decide that I am just emotionally unhinged) and was full of poignant little descriptions.  Beautiful. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
De Batz   10 #16 Posted April 4, 2011 I enjoyed reading that, thank you! It's a privilege to read other people's work.  There was a charming sort of innocence about the writing which did give it the suggestion of a child's writing. The sentences are short and punchy, generally getting to the point without over-elaboration, though you do choose some well-considered descriptive phrases.  Don't be afraid to use 'said'. I do think it's something that is taught out of you at school and whilst it can grate, it isn't a failure to use it. Concentrating on the reality of what is said - and getting the point across in the conversation, as you have - reduces the importance of the verb you pick.  Anyway, hope that makes sense. Looking forward to your next work.  Andy Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...