Violent child in School

[natzzz 10]

Hi everyone, my first time posting in this section and I need some advice from other parents.

 

Since around November my son has been coming home with scratches on the back of his neck, not just little scratches either they have actually drawn blood. When I asked him about them he told me it was a boy in his class. This has happened several times now but I was talked out of saying anything to his teacher and made to feel I was over reacting and it was just boys being boys.

 

Just before Christmas my son brought home a clay calendar he had made at school, unfortunately it was in an envelope as the child mentioned above had purposely smashed it. My son was heartbroken and me too I can remember the feeling of making something at school and the excitement of taking it home to my Mum.

 

As I work I often don't get to collect my son from school, a family member picks him up for me and when I returned from work on Friday I was informed that Bailey had been brought out of School by his teacher and his face was a right mess. Apparently during lunch time play the boy had attacked my son and 2 other children. He had scratches all over his face, down his forehead and around his eyes. I was fuming by this point.

 

And how was the boy punished? He had a sad face drawn in a book and sent home to his Mum. I have since been told that the School are monitoring the situation but I now spend all day worrying about the safety of my child. I trust them with the only thing that matters to me and expect them to look after him.

 

What can I do? Is there anything I can demand happens? I just really need some advice, sorry about the long message, hope it makes sense.

[cosywolf 10]

Hi Natzzz, you must be fuming. I'd be absolutely livid if my child was coming to physical and emotional harm like this.

 

I'm afraid I'm new to the whole school thing here (mine just started in January), but I'm sure someone will be along shortly to give you some advice. All I can say for sure is that I'd be making a right pain of myself at the school. First with the teachers, then with the head, then with the Governors. I work, too, but it may be worth taking some time off or making an appointment at lunchtime to see first his teacher, then the Head if you get no satisfactory response from the teacher.

 

Every second your child is in fear of this other child is a second too many. I hope you find a way to get it sorted.

[kermit103 10]

Hi

The same thing has happened to someone I know, her 11 year old son was kicked and punched nearly every day and even though the school was informed everytime they choose to do nothing. The only way she stopped it was to inform the police and get them involved. If this bully is not stopped or made accountable for his actions now what is he going to be like later in life. The police had a quite word with him and his parents and was told if he was reported again he would be arrested

[natzzz 10]

Thank you I just needed to know i'm not just making a fuss about nothing!

 

The teacher did apologise to me on Monday and said as it was during lunch she had not been there to asses the situation. Bailey (my son) has now come home and told me that the teacher has said this boy only does these things because he wants to play. I personally think this is completely out of order.

It may well be the reason but it should not be used as an excuse and Bailey is left thinking its his own fault this happens because he won't play with someone who physically harms him!

 

I just don't know how to handle it, I don't want to go in all guns blazing but I dont really want Bailey anywhere near this boy.

[natzzz 10]

Hi

The same thing has happened to someone I know, her 11 year old son was kicked and punched nearly every day and even though the school was informed everytime they choose to do nothing. The only way she stopped it was to inform the police and get them involved. If this bully is not stopped or made accountable for his actions now what is he going to be like later in life. The police had a quite word with him and his parents and was told if he was reported again he would be arrested

 

My sons dad wanted to get the police involved but I wasn't sure if they would take it seriously with the child only being 5. I guess i'm still thinking everyone will just see it a boyish rough and tumble like the school have.

[lyndix 10]

sorry to hear about your little boy.

You need to nip this before it escalates.

Speak to the head, tell them your concerns and pin them down on exactly what has been done.

Find out if the other boys parents are aware of all of the incidents(not just the sad face one) and maybe even try setting up a meeting with them and the school to try and sort the situation out.

If they are approachable people you could always try speaking with the parent yourself, you might be surprised at their reaction. I would be horrified to find out my child was doing something like this and think most parents would feel the same.

Keep in regular contact with the school, most schools will be supportive. if you don`t feel the head is doing enough then go to the govners for help.

my eldest lad was bullied for a while and it was the worst feeling knowing that you have to send them to school and you won`t be with them to protect them.

Hope your son is ok xx

[kermit103 10]

If no luck with school and or parents then I would still get plice involved, it may scare the bully so much he may mend his ways. Good luck on this

[Amyrach 10]

nattzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz mi old mucker hows u and lickle un x

well im gonna give u my two penneth i would collar the childs mother about it xxx

[natzzz 10]

nattzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz mi old mucker hows u and lickle un x

well im gonna give u my two penneth i would collar the childs mother about it xxx

 

Hi amy, were not too bad thanks, you?

 

Do you fancy doing it for me?

 

Thanks everyone for your replies, I have decided to contact the school to arrange a meeting with the Head teacher and if I am not satisfied with the response I get from her I will contact the police.

Does anyone know a way to contact the police just for some advice on the situation?

[Amyrach 10]

im available for parent bashing at any time lol x

[bornfree 10]

I don't understand why the teacher has just brushed this problem aside. Couldn't it cause mental scarring that will effect him when he gets older? I say you speak to the childs mother, see if she has anything to say about it. But i don't think it's "boys being boys" thats ridiculous.

[simplymel 10]

Natzzz69 im so sorry to hear about whats happening to your little boy it must be heartbreaking. Have you been into school and sat down and had a chat with the teacher? I work in a school, we sometimes have problems like this that we have to sort out and i really dont understand why your problem hasnt been sorted out as your child shouldnt have to go through this bless him.

By the 'sad face in a book' makes me wonder if the child who has hurt your child has behaviour needs, which isnt an excuse for him to hurt your child but id of thought his behaviour would be closely monitored if thats the case.

If youve not physically been into school that would be my first approach, be calm and reasonable and express your concerns and how long this has been going on for, ask what they are going to do if they dont tell you (they should). Hopefully he/she will reasure you and get the situation sorted. Give alittle bit of time, it wont be sorted out over night, from the teachers point of view its really difficult when you have a child with challenging behaviour in her/his class BUT behaviour managament is part of their job. Keep note of anything that happens after youve had a meeting with the teacher, log it on paper- not long just where, when, who is envolved and whats been done. If the problem continues make an appoinment to see the headteacher, speak to him/her and explain how your feeling, show the notes youve made as youve then got a log of inncidents. Im sure she/he will put a stop to it. Hope that helps, good luck xxxx

Anything i can help with just say