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Who has the most slappable face in entertainment?

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Originally posted by feargal

He has the same startled look as Colin (or is it Justin? whichever is dark-haired), the camp style commentator.

 

They both deserve to be deep fried in vegetable oil then shredded like two big camp crispy ducks, rolled in expensive wallpaper with a dash of plum sauce and force fed to Linda Barker and Flossie Lewelyn-Bowen.

 

(You might have guessed I realy don't like TV decorators)

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I'm not sure of Timo's rules here... does it have to be individuals, or can I have a set of slappees?

 

If I can, I should like to strike all those women singers who express their heartfelt emotion by wobbling/jarring their mouths. Examples: Mariah, Britney, Whitney, in fact most RnB singers. Shame on them. Also boybanders who clutch their heart with one hand whilst extending their other arm out to the sky. Keepin' it real.

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Timo, the difference with Gordon Ramsey and most of the sub-humans mentioned on this thread is that, whatever his faults, the man has talent. You don't get three Michelin stars for nowt, and as such the majority of his sins can be forgiven.

 

I also quite like his Kitchen Nightmares programmes - not matter how staged they are! I do wish he wouldn't use so much bad language, though.

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Slap that orange Jesse Wallace woman and Lulu.

Thanks

 

But don't slap Harry Gration - I think he's cuddley.

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Feargal,

For you, darling, I will extend the rules to include groups of 'slappees' , as you phrase it. Your comment re wobbly mouthed female chanteuses is a good one, especially re Britney. Although again, in her case I am in the same dilemma I was previously with Davina McCall re which 'end' would provide the most pleasure to slap. I live my hedonistic life in accordance with the philosopher, John Stuart Mill's 'greatest happiness principle' you see...

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Mills was wise indeed Timo, but surely even he would realise that Spears and her ilk need a good scutching.

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Originally posted by feargal

Why not slap Chris Evans if you need some ginger slap fun? He's horrible, and I would imagine most people would club together for your train fare to London to see him get an open-handed salute.

Of course, an even better idea would be to get Chris Evans to stand on the edge of Chesterfield station platform, while we all pass on the train (one the at doesn't stop at Chesterfield, obviously) arms outstretched from the windows in unison...

 

...try to think of it something like putting playing cards in your bike spokes when you were a kid...

 

...not only would it knock seven bells out of the annoying "ginner", but it would make a quite interesting sound also.

 

:hihi:

 

 

 

(Apologies to SimonS for this one.)

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My first slap would go to Bono, this greedy man whose worth millions is suing his ex stylist because she took his hat.

and other bits and bobs.

while preaching to a nation to give money to Africa.

Do you think if he wins the case he will give the money to the Africa appeal.

 

Joss stone deserves a slap with her forced fake voice.

 

The talentless Jade Goody who looks like an extra for planet of the apes.

 

Victoria Beckam

 

Anne Robinson who had a dig at jackos amount of face jobs when shes had about 5 or 6 herself. or even more.

 

talentless midgets Ant and Dec.

 

last but not least Bush and Blair.

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Matthew Wright

Tony Blair

Natasha Kaplinsky

 

All smarmy gits

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In the male dept - ROBBIE WILLIAMS

 

that boyish charm doesn't fool me, he has the most annoying hittable face I have ever seen.

 

Female - NIGELLA LAWSON

 

Sexy my arse....I would kick her so hard between her legs that she would have a hairy chin for a week!

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Littleboo,

You refer to Robbie Williams' 'boyish charm' as unconvincing. I agree entirely, the man is absolutely charmless, conceited and immature. He is more like a teenage boy than an adult male. No offence to gay posters, but Williams is quite obviously gay, and the laughable attempts to prove otherwise are a sheer waste of time and effort. I predict that, in time, he will 'come out', as it is known in common parlance, and his grandiose, flouncy 'queenery' will make Elton John look like John Wayne.

 

Re Nigella Lawson, as is well known by many posters, I find the woman very sexy indeed. I can certainly think of more sensuous things to do with her than 'kick' her! Mind you [i assume you are female], I can see how her sultry, lingering, 'knowing' looks to camera, pouting and hair-tossing might irritate women. My wife and I watched one programme where she transformed making a cocktail into an erotic adventure. My wife found Lawson's quite obvious attempt to sexualise the proceedings irritating, but my transfixed reaction highly amusing. The best bit was right at the end, when she raised the glass, looked directly at the camera [with the hint of a smirk], lingered for a moment and said 'cheers'. As my wife observed, I expected her to say, 'bottoms up'! Well, I like her anyway. She is well aware of her effect upon men, and I find that very endearing.

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Originally posted by timo

Re Nigella Lawson, as is well known by many posters, I find the woman very sexy indeed. I can certainly think of more sensuous things to do with her than 'kick' her! Mind you [i assume you are female], I can see how her sultry, lingering, 'knowing' looks to camera, pouting and hair-tossing might irritate women. My wife and I watched one programme where she transformed making a cocktail into an erotic adventure. My wife found Lawson's quite obvious attempt to sexualise the proceedings irritating, but my transfixed reaction highly amusing. The best bit was right at the end, when she raised the glass, looked directly at the camera [with the hint of a smirk], lingered for a moment and said 'cheers'. As my wife observed, I expected her to say, 'bottoms up'! Well, I like her anyway. She is well aware of her effect upon men, and I find that very endearing.

 

No, but she does encourage you to drizzle over her pasta and to toss her salad.

 

I, too find her quite sexy but in a strange - hot to say? -motherly sense. I reckon I could think of a game or two (which might require a dressing of another kind) that we could play.

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