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Who has the most slappable face in entertainment?

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As the originator of this thread, I would like to make it clear that when I refer to a 'slap', I do not mean the short, stinging admonishment administered by a lady [of either sex] in anger. I refer to the kind of jaw-breaking blow that might be struck by an Officer of the infamous Japanese Kempei Tei of World War Two. When I write of 'slapping' Cliff Richard, I have in mind the kind of open-handed blow that might impair the hearing of the victim, set their face ablaze with neuralgia for days and cause them to collapse. Is that clear?

 

Now, on with this festival of savagery. Let us revenge ourselves upon the grotesques that plague the media, if only in the imaginary sense. Another candidate for a severe slap- Robbie Williams. I have an urge to leave the room to be sick whenever I see his smug, self-satisfied expression and teenage mannerisms paraded on screen. His voice is no better than a thousand other Karioke 'wanna-be's'. Full praise to Liam Gallagher for his bon mot and astute remark that Williams is 'that fat dancer out of Take That'.

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I would 'war-dance' on these faces...

 

1) Saskia

2) Maxwell

3) Kirsty Gallacher

4) Sarah Beany

5) Rebecca Loos

6) Steve Mitchell (Eastenders)

7) James Hewitt

8. Richard and Judy...:hihi:

9) Robson Green

 

and number 10....Jamie Theakston

 

That's my top ten for this week anyway!!

 

:clap:

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Shiesh,

Thanks for making me laugh out loud. In Richard and Judy's case, I would add a refinement of cruelty in that, prior to your beer-crazed 'war dance', the ghastly pair are rolled naked in stinging nettles.

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Originally posted by timo

Shiesh,

Thanks for making me laugh out loud. In Richard and Judy's case, I would add a refinement of cruelty in that, prior to your beer-crazed 'war dance', the ghastly pair are rolled naked in stinging nettles.

 

Urghhhh,...less of the 'naked'.....:gag:

 

With these two I'd war dance with a pair of these on!!

 

:P

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Oh no, why do you have to start a thread like this, there are just too many "worthies"...

 

...and I have to agree with quite a number that have already been mentioned...

 

...but amongst those that haven't I have to include Amanda Holden and Vanessa Feltz...

 

:gag:

 

...and a special re-mention for Robbie Williams.

 

:gag::gag:

 

 

A minor question for you Timo, why no mention of the dread AT from you though?

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Mariah carey

j-lo

all the manufactured bands- (too many to list. they think they are top dog and mega famous)

most of the big brother house

jimmy carr

nicole richie

 

 

just to name a few.

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Guest karenjane39

Richard Madely

 

Abbi Titmus

 

Carol Vorderman

 

And all of The Wiggles (parents of under fives will agree no doubt) :)

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Jeremy Clarkson. Spouts a load of utter rubbish, and is a bona fide minger. If I had loads of money, I'd pay off his contract to get him off TV. Last man on earth, blah blah blah.

 

And that loon Frank Skinner. More unfunny that him and you'd be in a coffin.

 

Liam Gallagher, eurgh. Of course, Patsy Kensit.

 

The policeman from ballamory.

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I'd like to administer a slap to Alan Twatfarce, with the proviso that he is standing on top of The Old Man Of Hoy, and that I am safely in harness at the end of a rope dangling from a helicopter hovering overhead. The sea needs to be good and choppy, mind, so that he is dashed to pieces on the rocks, just in case the fall doesn't kill him. A little over-the-top, you may think, but when you consider this man titled his autobiography 'Trowel and Error', it starts to make sense....

 

....And just to level things up a bit, I think I'd rather enjoy a slap from Abi Titmuss.

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So many to choose from, a lot of them already mentioned here. I think I'd have to go for Anne Robinson, though I'm tempted by your suggestion of Cliff Richard, timo. You might like these lyrics, from a very early Chumbawamba song "Slag Aid" (their response to Live Aid):

 

And Cliff Richard, three, two, one

The God who remains when the religion's gone

Cliff, we've got a special surprise for you today

So come up closer, step this way

Cliff, you're such an example of moral worth

Such a purist saint come to bless our earth

That on behalf of our viewers watching on telly

And on behalf of the millions with empty bellies

We're donating something special that we're all going to like

Cliff Richard, we're going to nail you up to a cross tonight

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