Who has the most slappable face in entertainment?

[JBee 10]

Have we had a mention for that p**t Darren Day yet?

 

Surely he deserves some abuse?

[foo_fighter 10]

Originally posted by JBee

Have we had a mention for that p**t Darren Day yet?

 

Surely he deserves some abuse?

OMG how did we forget him, he deserves a slap with a Chal' 2...

 

...as does a certain Ms. Suzanne Shaw for having a kid with the cretin.

 

[SimonS 10]

Originally posted by JBee

Have we had a mention for that p**t Darren Day yet?

 

Surely he deserves some abuse?

 

 

Darren Day is abuse.

[Swan_Vesta 11]

I'd like to administer a "You've been tango'd" style double hander to Pauline Quirke.

 

I'd lay a trail of Greggs pasties right past my hiding place where I would lay in wait until it came snuffling past in the pursuit of pastry based satisfaction and then ....... "Shazam!" I'd leap out and Tango her excellent style. Both hands would impact at the same time while I ducked cunningly, narrowly avoiding the semi-chewed Greggs discharge which would exit her porcince mouth.

 

She'd lay there clutching her cheeks wishing she'd never made birds of a feather and cursing the use of Greggs as bait

[timo 10]

Many thanks, forum gentlefolk, for your cogent and witty contributions to rigorous debate on this issue of the greatest importance. Your humble narrator would like to suggest a few more deserving faces for a neuralgia-inducing, jaw-dislocating repeated, full-force slapping. The next candidates [for they be not 'victims', my children, but ne'er-do-wells who deserve the mind-concentrating gift of agony as they reflect upon their crimes] are the following:

 

The 'actress' who played 'Toyah Battersby' in Coronation Street, the popular television programme. I do not know this young woman's 'real' name, but I do know that she cannot act. Her performances were appallingly bad, consisting of over-acting, histrionics and shouting. I have seen her in other dramas, and the familiar facial expressions roll, the same over-acting and hysterics that we are supposed to accept as 'heightened emotion'. She also bears a face which resembles some nightmare cross between a Bulldog and a clown without makeup. Therefore, she must endure the humiliation and pain we reserve for such grotesques.

 

Secondly, the actor James Nesbitt, who like Robson Green and Sarah Lancashire is seemingly never off our tv screens. I have nothing against the Irish of either denomination. Why should I have? I am charmed by their poteen-crazed folk dancing, sectarian drum parades and the amusing way the Northern variety have of blaming 'the Bratash' for everything. They are such good fun with their Guinness and 'the crack', of course they are. It is with these fond thoughts in mind that I recommend 'special' treatment for this annoying mediocrity who has a talent for appearing on television when least wanted. After a severe and prolongued slapping, Nesbitt should endure the peculiar Irish punishment; the wearing of the blazing pitch cap. That might reduce his appearances somewhat.

 

Thirdly [in truth, the list is endless], one would relish slapping the visage of Bobby Knutt, the achingly-unfunny Sheffield 'entertainer' and 'comedian'. A face ablaze with savage pain might put paid to Knutt's truly terrible 'mutter mutter', 'jabber jabber' routines. The man is about as funny as typhoid.

[SimonS 10]

I would like to slap the faces of the Cheeky Girls.

 

Their song was not good and they need to eat more dinners.

 

I would also like to slap their mothers face for writing the song and then stopping at nothing (including murder) to create an evil potion which she gave to a Vampire to make him impregnate her with twin stick babies that would one day sing the song and make £900.

 

She's stupid.

[Greenback 10]

Originally posted by timo

The 'actress' who played 'Toyah Battersby' in Coronation Street, the popular television programme. I do not know this young woman's 'real' name, but I do know that she cannot act. Her performances were appallingly bad, consisting of over-acting, histrionics and shouting. I have seen her in other dramas, and the familiar facial expressions roll, the same over-acting and hysterics that we are supposed to accept as 'heightened emotion'. She also bears a face which resembles some nightmare cross between a Bulldog and a clown without makeup.

 

In addition, her head is the shape of a butternut squash, which is never attractive in a ladygirl. Not that this fact alone is enough to warrant physical abuse, but seeing as actors in general are so precious about their 'craft' she can take the brunt of my ire about the profession as a whole - which, in effect, is just a souped-up version of the schoolyard game 'Let's Pretend'.

[Saifa 10]

Originally posted by SimonS

I must put forth a special mention for Nicola "the ginger one" from Girls Aloud.

 

She is begging for it. Even when she is attempting to be sexy in a video her eyes tell me she wants a fight and she has been moaning and sulking all day about being "the ginger one".

 

 

I always thought she was the best looking one myself

 

Saifa "The ginger lover"

[SimonS 10]

Originally posted by Saifa

I always thought she was the best looking one myself

 

Saifa "The ginger lover"

 

 

You should have gone to Specsavers.

 

I'm not a ginger-phobe btw but she wastes beautiful Sarah's screen time.

 

Nicola has that look like my sister has sometimes when I know any minute she is going to start a row about me using her hair stuff for the 100th time.

 

If that's what you're into though Saifa I will respect your wishes and save that slap for Peter Stringfellow.

[feargal 21]

Don't touch Stringfellow!! He's fantastically bad, therefore he's good, and he's always top quality entertainment.

[JBee 10]

Should we slap Peter Andre, or take pity on him ecause he's just become a new dad?

[feargal 21]

Originally posted by JBee

Should we slap Peter Andre, or take pity on him ecause he's just become a new dad?

Slap him. Although, he has got that bewildered look about him that suggests somebody has beaten us to it!