timo   10 #13 Posted June 27, 2005 As the originator of this thread, I would like to make it clear that when I refer to a 'slap', I do not mean the short, stinging admonishment administered by a lady [of either sex] in anger. I refer to the kind of jaw-breaking blow that might be struck by an Officer of the infamous Japanese Kempei Tei of World War Two. When I write of 'slapping' Cliff Richard, I have in mind the kind of open-handed blow that might impair the hearing of the victim, set their face ablaze with neuralgia for days and cause them to collapse. Is that clear?  Now, on with this festival of savagery. Let us revenge ourselves upon the grotesques that plague the media, if only in the imaginary sense. Another candidate for a severe slap- Robbie Williams. I have an urge to leave the room to be sick whenever I see his smug, self-satisfied expression and teenage mannerisms paraded on screen. His voice is no better than a thousand other Karioke 'wanna-be's'. Full praise to Liam Gallagher for his bon mot and astute remark that Williams is 'that fat dancer out of Take That'. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Shiesh   13 #14 Posted June 27, 2005 I would 'war-dance' on these faces...  1) Saskia 2) Maxwell 3) Kirsty Gallacher 4) Sarah Beany 5) Rebecca Loos 6) Steve Mitchell (Eastenders) 7) James Hewitt 8. Richard and Judy... 9) Robson Green  and number 10....Jamie Theakston  That's my top ten for this week anyway!!  Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
timo   10 #15 Posted June 27, 2005 Shiesh, Thanks for making me laugh out loud. In Richard and Judy's case, I would add a refinement of cruelty in that, prior to your beer-crazed 'war dance', the ghastly pair are rolled naked in stinging nettles. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Shiesh   13 #16 Posted June 27, 2005 Originally posted by timo Shiesh, Thanks for making me laugh out loud. In Richard and Judy's case, I would add a refinement of cruelty in that, prior to your beer-crazed 'war dance', the ghastly pair are rolled naked in stinging nettles.  Urghhhh,...less of the 'naked'.....  With these two I'd war dance with a pair of these on!!  Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
foo_fighter   10 #17 Posted June 27, 2005 Oh no, why do you have to start a thread like this, there are just too many "worthies"...  ...and I have to agree with quite a number that have already been mentioned...  ...but amongst those that haven't I have to include Amanda Holden and Vanessa Feltz...   ...and a special re-mention for Robbie Williams.    A minor question for you Timo, why no mention of the dread AT from you though? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
spinny   10 #18 Posted June 27, 2005 Mariah carey j-lo all the manufactured bands- (too many to list. they think they are top dog and mega famous) most of the big brother house jimmy carr nicole richie   just to name a few. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Guest karenjane39   #19 Posted June 27, 2005 Richard Madely  Abbi Titmus  Carol Vorderman  And all of The Wiggles (parents of under fives will agree no doubt) Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Annoni_mouse   10 #20 Posted June 27, 2005 Gary Bushell-I would beet him like a ginger step-child:clap: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
lizzmobile   11 #21 Posted June 27, 2005 Jeremy Clarkson. Spouts a load of utter rubbish, and is a bona fide minger. If I had loads of money, I'd pay off his contract to get him off TV. Last man on earth, blah blah blah.  And that loon Frank Skinner. More unfunny that him and you'd be in a coffin.  Liam Gallagher, eurgh. Of course, Patsy Kensit.  The policeman from ballamory. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
LordSnooty   10 #22 Posted June 27, 2005 I'd like to administer a slap to Alan Twatfarce, with the proviso that he is standing on top of The Old Man Of Hoy, and that I am safely in harness at the end of a rope dangling from a helicopter hovering overhead. The sea needs to be good and choppy, mind, so that he is dashed to pieces on the rocks, just in case the fall doesn't kill him. A little over-the-top, you may think, but when you consider this man titled his autobiography 'Trowel and Error', it starts to make sense....  ....And just to level things up a bit, I think I'd rather enjoy a slap from Abi Titmuss. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Don_Kiddick   11 #23 Posted June 27, 2005 Margaret Thatcher - even if she is an old biddy nowadays Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
DanSumption   10 #24 Posted June 27, 2005 So many to choose from, a lot of them already mentioned here. I think I'd have to go for Anne Robinson, though I'm tempted by your suggestion of Cliff Richard, timo. You might like these lyrics, from a very early Chumbawamba song "Slag Aid" (their response to Live Aid):  And Cliff Richard, three, two, one The God who remains when the religion's gone Cliff, we've got a special surprise for you today So come up closer, step this way Cliff, you're such an example of moral worth Such a purist saint come to bless our earth That on behalf of our viewers watching on telly And on behalf of the millions with empty bellies We're donating something special that we're all going to like Cliff Richard, we're going to nail you up to a cross tonight Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...