Stupid accidents

[olorin 10]

Getting shot in the head[1] at the rifle range I think has to be the best, although it wasnt strictly my fault as Range Officer the blame eventually ascended to me at the time.

 

I had a freind with a heart condition that means he has a defibrillator built into him like a pacemaker. He climbed up the stairs in the Arc de Triomphe and felt unwell and the monitor decided he was having an "episode" and belted him at the top of the steps.

 

After falling to the bottom he got up which provoked another "episode" so the device belted him again and he lay down again. Fortunate he stayed there as it only has enough juice for 2 shots. He then went to have a Japanese tourists high heel removed from his thigh after landing on her on the way down.

 

[1] A .32 revolver isn't that powerful a device - glancing blows just bounce off although they still hurt like hell. A .45ACP would have been a little more final.

[TJ Girl 10]

I once set fire to a cold water tap ( unbelievable but true )

[RosyRat 10]

I once fell down a toilet. It was at the Le Mans village and the toilet in question was a hut which was an extension of a club marquee. It was pitch dark with no light and I thought there'd be one of those footprint things that you step into and crouch down over a hole. There was just a hole and a big one at that.

 

I'd dropped my trousers and kecks and was shuffling backwards in the dark, feeling for the non-existent footprints and went straight in. God knows how deep the hole was, but I instinctively grabbed the edge as I fell and let out great bellows of terror.

 

The OH burst in, lit his cigarette lighter and could just see my head and hands.

 

I had to walk back through the marquee streaked with s**t and out into the blessed rain.

 

For years afterwards, when I went to the toilet in the Broomhill Tavern, some wit would come banging on the door after a couple of minutes to make sure I hadn't vanished into the mains sewage system.

[taxman 12]

I went rooting around in my ear with the end of a biro only to have that little black plastic thingy get lodged in my ear. I had to ask around the office for someone with tweezers to get it out.

[mort 10]

I cut then end off a toe whilst doing yoga.

[mort 10]

I once set fire to a cold water tap ( unbelievable but true )

 

Madam I bow to your talent

[Captain Slow 10]

How on earth do you do that???????

 

One of the first times I'd driven an auto and I wasn't happy with how I'd parked - so wanted to inch it forward a bit. I forgot that they creep and made an a**e out of myself.

 

 

 

 

This is of course a much edited version in an attempt to try and save face. The full story would be a big enough hit to my dignity to make me never want to show my face here again...

[Captain Slow 10]

I once set fire to a cold water tap ( unbelievable but true )

 

I verily doff my cap to thee, o mistress of stupid incidents. Tell me more.

[RIZRAT 10]

Bet she can juggle with water too

[boyfriday 21]

I cut then end off a toe whilst doing yoga.

 

I didn't know yoga involved juggling chain saws morty

[mort 10]

I didn't know yoga involved juggling chain saws morty

 

Never got the hang of that calm serenity thing....

[TJ Girl 10]

It was a plastic dripping tap in my kitchen when i was a kid , I held a match under it hoping the drip would put it out. Instead I set fire to the tap and never thought to turn tap on to put it out ,just panicked and started wafting it. It melted the end of the tap shut and my dad had to hacksaw the end of it off to create a new hole