The ex factor!!

[Ashapasha 10]

Something that's been on my mind for a while now, given the situation I am in so I'd be interested to know what other people think about this topic...

 

What are your views on remaining friends with ex-partners, particularly when you are seeing someone else?

 

Is your partner still in regular contact with his/her ex? If so, how do you feel about it? Do you feel justified to feel slightly put out about them meeting up with their ex every once in a while?

Edited July 16, 2009 by Ashapasha
First title too misleading

[andyofborg 11]

that sounds like a trailer for jeremy kyle

 

generally, i can't see it being a problem if everyone is ok with the situation. there is more than enough bitterness and unhappiness in the world, without adding more

[small_hall 10]

from previous experience it does not work for me - i have tried on more than one occasion to stay friends with an ex and it been unsuccessful

[Ghostrider 11]

Im trying to stay friends with my ex wife for the sake of my daughter - however I think she is deliberately trying to make it as hard as she possibly can...

[Ashapasha 10]

How do you feel about the reverse of the situation - do you find it easy knowing your partner is still in touch with his/her exes?

[Ghostrider 11]

How do you feel about the reverse of the situation - do you find it easy knowing your partner is still in touch with his/her exes?

As im single, that doesnt apply to me, lol

[teddie 10]

Can't imagine staying friends with an ex what's the point?

[Fibutton 10]

Am still really good friends with my ex, to the extent that we still buy birthday and xmas presents for each other. We have 2 beautiful children together, and the marriage ended mutually - we were more like housemates than husband and wife !

I am soon getting married again, and the future Mr F is fine with the situation, although they'll never be best buddies , they will have a coffee together while the ex is here to pick up the kids .

[medusa 16]

I don't think that trying to be friends with an ex is something which is normally good for either party's emotional health. If it happens naturally for you to stay in touch (or you have children together) then there's not really anything wrong with it either and getting on for the children is pretty much a necessity for the mental health of your little ones. However, there's a difference between staying in touch and remaining friends.

 

Staying in touch can be something as simple as being in the same group of friends and nodding to each other at social events, or (in my case) one of my exes is married to a friend of my partner so I see both of them at social gatherings now.

 

There's no such thing as a right answer when it comes to this sort of thing, as with so many things in life. If both parties are comfortable with the relationship being over and still want to be in each other's company, and everyone is an adult and honest with each other, then why not still be friends?

 

I would rather stick pins in my eyes than spend time in the company of my ex-hubby though

[laineyiow 10]

I am on "friendly" terms with both my ex-husbands. There has never been any bad feelings or resentment on either side. I suppose I'm quite lucky really that there has never been any animosty from either husband. Don't know whether its because me and my first husband had a daughter who was actually brought up by my second husband and we have all stayed on good terms for her sake. Also because of me living so far away from my mum I can always rely on my second husband to visit my mum to ensure that she is okay if I get worried about her.

[Ouija 10]

I speak online to an ex of mine now and again. It didn't end fantastically (as he was cheating) but it was nearly 15 years ago, so I'm over it now! I'd say that I wouldn't want to be close friends with an ex, because it doesn't work. But that could just be me. Thankfully all but one of my ex's are reasonable enough people, and although I don't go out of my way to contact them/be best buddies, I would nod/speak if I bumped into them. The one exception is a total skank, and I look forward to dancing on the scum's grave.

 

It wouldn't bother me if I was with somebody who was on speaking terms with their ex, but I might wonder if they seemed unusually friendly.

[Schiann 10]

I've never had a problem staying friends with my former partners, but all my relationships were with people who were my friend first.