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Would you live with an ex?

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Try jongo...he may need resuscitating though! :hihi:

 

:hihi: Look out for a plumber riding a camel.

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No No No No No. And i'm civil with some of my ex's too. Still no!! Then again if we had a mortgage or something so couldn't move out thats different, but out of choice? Madness!

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Oh yeah, if you've seen my LJ today you'll have more of an idea than this thread how close I feel to her now. So yeah, if we were living in the same town whether in the same house or not a potential partner will have to get used to us being close. But then I could be doing exactly the same thing with my best mate if he were here, yet somehow in theory that doesn't seem as threatening.

 

When I started going out with my ex (the recent one) last summer she went to Reading and shared a tent with a guy she'd had a bit of a fling with less than a year ago. I wondered about it for a little while but felt fine about it, more comfortable than his girlfriend did anyway. That chapter of her life was over. It was only when things had started to break down between us that I started worrying about what might happen when she went back down to visit home. And when that starts happening it has nothing to do with your partner and potential threats but everything to do with the relationship itself.

 

Got off tangeant there, I just like talking about relationships for some reason. Poor guy I was in the pub with the other night.

 

My bold. Yeah, wish I'd have realised that last year :rolleyes:

 

I think if your main worry is potential partners, then in some ways it works in your favour as you know automatically whether they're going to be able to handle the situation. Its what I call the "shaun test" (my best friend of 11 years is called Shaun). I've known this guy for 11 years and whilst having never gone out with each other, Shaun had this massive crush on me when we were younger and sometimes, it kinda shows, but I wouldn't ever ever replace him.

 

It says a lot to me about a potential partner when I see how they interact with Shaun, and also with my ex fiancee, who's also one of my best friends, and my tattooist.

 

There's not many people who would be able to cope with the fact that I get pretty much semi naked in front of my ex on a regular basis for measure ups, design working etc etc etc and its part of the reason I'm in such a good relationship now.

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It depends on the ex and the reasons you split- I'm sure it can work out for some, but not in my case.

 

I still live with my ex, but not for much longer. We were together 17 years, have kids and a mortgage and a large enough house to keep out of each others way. We split up a year ago, he has a steady girlfriend who comes round for meals/ to hang out etc and there have been times when it has been ok and we have got on well- I have no problem with his girlfriend, she's lovely and good for him and I think she has guts for coming into such an unconventional situation.

 

The problems start when I'm seeing someone else and my ex finds that hard to handle, he will say he doesn't have a problem and can come across as perfectly friendly to my new guy and then every now and then drop in really snidey comments. I have been seeing someone since January who refuses to come round to my house as he is very wary of my ex and doesn't want to make things worse for me. It's all pretty messed up. I don't blame my ex for this- his feelings are all over the place and ideally, to help him come to terms with the split, I should've moved out a year ago. The reason I haven't is partly for the kid's sake and partly that he's unlikely to be able to afford to keep the house on if I move out and I don't want him to lose it. It's a horrible situation for both of us, especially when we have had some very amicable times in the last year and it seemed like we would be able to work things out under the same roof:(

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It says a lot to me about a potential partner when I see how they interact with Shaun, and also with my ex fiancee, who's also one of my best friends, and my tattooist.

 

There's not many people who would be able to cope with the fact that I get pretty much semi naked in front of my ex on a regular basis for measure ups, design working etc etc etc and its part of the reason I'm in such a good relationship now.

 

Looks like I'll be performing "CJ Tests" then!. I have a couple other close female friends but because they won't be as local (Leeds and Newcastle) it's not going to be so much a problem.

 

Nudity is another thing, other people don't often feel the same as me on this but as soon as someone's seen me naked they have a lifetime pass for it, not that anyone's gonna be desperate for that privaledge ;) When I live with CJ I'll have no trouble getting changed in front of her or her seeing me onroute between bathroom and bedroom, god she can even come in while I'm in the bath or on the toilet if she wants. She's not as free on that as I am but she said she'd be more comfortable changing in front of me than someone else.

 

If I start to see someone though then I'm happy to hide myself if it makes my new partner uncomfortable, I kinda feel like who I go out with has some say in who else gets to see my body.

 

Sounds like you've found the right guy there, some guys wouldn't even want you getting tattoos on your arm from your ex.

Edited by Stainboy

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The only way I could live in the same house as my ex, is if they were in an urn. ⚰️ 😄

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I don't understand the question. Am I missing something? Why would you want to live with an ex? 

 

Surely the reason he/she is an ex is because you couldn't live with them?

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On 01/09/2021 at 09:31, Anna B said:

I don't understand the question. Am I missing something? Why would you want to live with an ex? 

 

Surely the reason he/she is an ex is because you couldn't live with them?

Just been looking though the forum and came across this and yes I agree with you on this Anna B they are a ex for a good reason...

 

I haven’t and could never wrap my head around why certain men and women choose to remind friends with their ex even when they are seeing someone new it’s absolutely crazy !!!....

 

I for one would never put up with that from any women and would rather be on my own until I found a woman who thinks like me than put up with that !!!!!....

 

You should only fall in love once in your life not every 5 mins and if you find true love you should cherish that together for the rest of your life !!!!.....

 

 

Edited by Box11

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Why has someone drug this 12 year old thread up from the dead?

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4 minutes ago, geared said:

Why has someone drug this 12 year old thread up from the dead?

Perhaps the person digging up the thread intended to start a new thread and realised there was already an existing thread on a topic they wanted to start a  new thread about.

 

Regarding the actual topic, I think  there are good reasons under certain circumstances for someone to live with an ex partner. The phrase "The better the devil you know" spring to mind.

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 l lived with my ex-husband as he didn't have anywhere to live at the time,  I was  helping him out,  the children were young and he wasn't violent towards me,  just ungrateful. 

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17 minutes ago, cressida said:

 l lived with my ex-husband as he didn't have anywhere to live at the time,  I was  helping him out,  the children were young and he wasn't violent towards me,  just ungrateful. 

I guess they could both hate each other, so it would be a bad idea.

One could like the other, in which case its a bad idea.

They could both still like each other, in which case one of them is probably delusional.

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