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I'm due to go back to work in July and I'm really hating the idea. I'm not sure if it's the feeling that I'll miss so many of DD's firsts or the knowledge that many of my co-workers are rather b*****, they tend to be the sort of people who are obsessed with image and to them its a sin not to have your hair done every month and god forbid you should show up at work and still have 'baby belly'. I just get the feeling that life will be hell once I go back and I'll be miserable. The problem is I know I have to go back otherwise I just won't be able to survive on the governments paltry handouts (not that I'd want to anyway). Does anyone else feel like this or am I just being weird?

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Perfectly normal. It's even hard to go back to a place you quite like. You feel guilty, you feel you are missing out, you feel your children are missing out.

There's the happy bits too, though - adult conversation, time away from the constant attention children need, time away from the constant rounds of laundry, bottles, dishes, etc.

 

I've been back 2 weeks. I like my workplace, if not my work particularly. My colleagues are great, and many are friends outside work. But oh how I wish I worked fewer hours. I'm exhausted and I miss my babies. I haven't settled back into enough of a routine to get everything done that needs doing at home...but it will come. And I'll get used to it. And so will you :). The children suffer far less than we do, lol, as long as they are in happy childcare.

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I'm hoping not to have to use childcare to be honest. If I can arrange with work to only do Monday through Thursday I won't need to arrange any as DD can spend time with her nan whenever my partner is at work. The problem is that my manager wants me to work weekends, am I within my rights to say no? I really want to keep my weekends as family time and my partner has other commitments on some weekends and my mother can't babysit at weekends either.

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Your company have to provide very good reasons why they won't agree to any reasonable request from you for flexible working. If there is no compelling reason you would have to work weekends/no-one else could do it, then you have the law on your side :)

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Hello Nik Nak. As a parent of a child aged under 16 you do have the legal right to request a flexible working pattern. Your employer has a duty to consider your application seriously and can only refuse an application if there are good business reasons for doing so. If you would like to contact us (see details below) we can provide you with a free factsheet about your options with regards to flexible working.

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I think as well if thats what you done before then they may well just expect you to do that from now on. You would normally have a meeting prior to your return to discuss any needs that you may have.

 

As the previous poster said they can supply you with a fact sheet to help you apply for flexiable working. Please rememeber that work only has a "Duty to consider" your request. The do have to provide valid reasons for turning it down though.

 

Good luck with it x

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It's hard Nik Nak, I sympathise. At the end of the day, you have to do what's best for you and your family. Don't be too hard on yourself, whatever choices you make, they are the right ones at the time, that's all you have to think.

 

You may find it's not as bad as you think, and actually enjoy some time in the company of adults in the working world. If issues are forcing you to look at your job and colleagues, then spend what time you have to there, whilst looking elsewhere for something that is more suitable. It will all work out.

 

It does sound like you've got family support, which is great and a lot more than some have, so count your blessings for that. Good luck.

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