Solutions to family problem...

[xruthx 10]

right, my sisters bloke has been invited down south to his sisters suprise retirement party.his other sister{who my sister does not get on with} has invited him but has told him only he can go and not my sister because it is only close family and freinds and thaqt her partner is not going either. my sister thiks this is abit and is hurt.

 

 

who is right?

my sister or her bloke.

is she being touchy in feeling hurt or is he a git for not showing loyality...what would you do?

[Heyesey 11]

I'm not sure there is a "right or wrong," just personal opinions.

 

If someone told me I couldn't take my partner to their do, there's not a chance in hell I'd go myself - moreover, unless the reason for the ruling was a severe shortage of available seats, it's the last they'd ever hear from me.

[xruthx 10]

forgot to add that this would involve an overnight stay.

[ShinyPurple 10]

If it were me, I'd book a room in a posh hotel near the venue of the party for me and my bloke.

 

I'd have a day of shopping and pampering, an evening of room service and tv. Then, the day after the party, I'd visit the newly retired sister with a card and gift

 

If anybody mentioned the party, I'd be really nice and understanding about how it was close friends and family only

[xruthx 10]

would you find it a snub tho? that is what my sister thinks and added to that his sister said to my sis bloke, do not give me an answer now go and discuss it with her then tell me in a bit. my sister thinks that this is shi*e stirring of the highest order and it has already caused an atmosphere between the two.

[KTHFB 10]

I'd be a little put out, but if her partner is not going either, then it's not really a snub on the sister.

 

I like Shiny Purple's idea...

[Jessica23 10]

I'd love to be excluded from my OH family's events. But then I'm a miserable cow

[CottonTop 11]

would you find it a snub tho? that is what my sister thinks and added to that his sister said to my sis bloke, do not give me an answer now go and discuss it with her then tell me in a bit. my sister thinks that this is shi*e stirring of the highest order and it has already caused an atmosphere between the two.

 

Sounds like stirring to me, Ruth. But the best way to deflect the snub is for your sis to act as though it doesn't bother her at all. ShinyPurple has it all figured out and that is exactly how I would handle it. If your sis does as SP suggests, it will probably irk the **** ****** no end and that is the best revenge.

[willman 10]

I think it stinks - and would complain big time.

[xruthx 10]

my sisters boyfriend thinks i have written biassedly in favour of my sister so these are his words exactly just to even it up a little.

 

"i came home and told XXX{my sister} that i had been invited to my older sisters suprise retirement party and that i had already decline the offer because XXX{my sis} had asked for a reason as to my not going which was that it would caurse relationship problems between xxx and myself and to show support for xxx. xxx then said that i should go and kept on insisiting, then saying that i am glad i am not going cos xxx would feel hurt.

that should have been the end of tht particular story but xxx kept on differing between and changing the plot and changed the fact that i had declined into accepting, eventually, after much persuation, i agreed to go down and accept the invitation, then, xxx decided that it ws a real mean thing that i had intended to accept the invitaion and go the party in any caase".

 

 

these are his exact words in which he has just spoken to me, please make of them what you will.

[Kthebean 10]

I think when you love someone you should just quietly accommodate their family no matter how horrid they are.

 

I know someone who has fallen out with their sister in law to such an extent that neither family talk to each other anymore. I would never deprive my partner of his sister - if I hated her that much, i'd stay away, but i'd never stop him from seeing her. Family is really important.

 

If I was your sister I would send him off with a hug and a smile and enjoy having the house to myself for the weekend.

[Heyesey 11]

I think when you love someone you should just quietly accommodate their family no matter how horrid they are.

 

 

Which is exactly what the bf's sister is NOT doing.