Young single women flirting with older married men. Why?

[arachnophobe 10]

The man should excersise self control, yes.

 

However as soon as the woman realises the man is married, she should be off

 

I agree with you that they are both at fault but the "other woman" is at fault to a lesser degree, IMO. It is always the person in the relationship who makes the decision to be unfaithful, then carries it through, nobody else can force them to do it.

 

A lot of people will give the other woman the lion's share of the blame because it is too painful to admit the truth, that their partner willingly chose to cheat. It is a lot easier to blame someone else.

[IanG 10]

At the end of the day if the bloke is married/In a relationship its ultimatley down to him to keep his pecker in his pocket.

Obviously it works both ways.

 

The is also a big difference if a fine line between banter flirting to pass the time and have a laugh and proper flirting IMO, the only problem with this is one person may interperate it as something more so you have to be carefull.

[cheekychimp 10]

Recently, my friend and I (both in mid thirties) have both had the experience of finding out that our husbands (one late thirties, one early forties), were having quite full on flirt relationships with a women in their (seperate) workplaces.

 

In both instances the woman involved was younger by 10 -15 years.

 

Now, I know it takes two to tango, and believe me both men were punished severely, but, what makes young women flirt so outragously with other womens husbands? Where is the solidarity?

 

Because it's fun, harmless, passes the time, they flirt back and the majority of the time they don't wear a wedding ring.

 

You shouldn't worry about this if you're secure in your relationship, flirting is harmless fun, i do it but would never take it further than that, it's just the kind of person that i am, fun and flirty.

[LuLucy 10]

To all you women who look on a "Married man" as a catch.

 

Maybe the married man will leave his wife for you, and if so, yes you have gained a small prize. However ask yourself this, should your innocent flirting lead to more and maybe to marrage, can you then guarantee that your man, won't do the same again? only this time it will be you as the married woman who is left to deal with the consequences.

 

When your man leaves, the bills still have to be paid when there is less money coming in, the babys still need their nappys changing, the children still have to be cared for when they are ill, and compforted in the middle of the night when you are on your last legs and its likely that you will end up doing this on your own.

 

For god sake, if a married man can have an affair once, he will do it again. please, stick to the single men

[LuLucy 10]

Remember, the real man is the one who will reject your flirting advances and put his own wife/children 1st.

[*carrie* 10]

To be honest, although it may be what many consider immoral, it is not the 'other woman' who has any responsibilities to the hypothetical man's wife and children. It is entirely the man's responsibility and as such, he ought to be held responsible for whatever happens to his marriage.

 

Also, I would think that if someone's husband 100% loves them, he would politely reject another woman's advances. If this isn't the case, it seems it is the relationship between husband and wife that is in question and nothing more.

[coco_custard 10]

Anyway. The issue for me is why women flirt with married men so outragously. Or even sleep with them when it boils down to it. I find it scandelous and un-sisterly.

 

I've noticed th it tends to be yound women who haven't been sh** on yet by blokes lol!! They understand the sisterhood a bit better when they've been dumped all over!!

[Bago 10]

I've noticed th it tends to be yound women who haven't been sh** on yet by blokes lol!! They understand the sisterhood a bit better when they've been dumped all over!!

Maybe that is why the OP asked why "young" women do this? Maybe the older guy knows that the younger woman would not think like that? I don't know. It sounds harsh to stereotype and judge.

 

What really is true is that, once you learn the emotional side to this, then as the female, I think you wouldn't think twice about doing this. Also, if you are the man, and you had thought very long and hard about marriage, then you wouldn't necessarily push these boundaries and test the water as such.

 

There shouldn't be this kind of testing when you are married. Presumably you have done all the testing and pushing, heartaches and tears waaaaay before you're married.

[*carrie* 10]

There is no such thing as sisterhood! Being a woman does not automatically mean you have an affinity with other women any more than you do with men. Younger women are hurt by men as much as older women are. It seems to me that this thread is an excuse for certain people to have a bit of a go at younger women because they have been hurt, which, if there was something called 'sisterhood' would be the antithesis to it.

[cheekychimp 10]

There is no such thing as sisterhood! Being a woman does not automatically mean you have an affinity with other women any more than you do with men. Younger women are hurt by men as much as older women are. It seems to me that this thread is an excuse for certain people to have a bit of a go at younger women because they have been hurt, which, if there was something called 'sisterhood' would be the antithesis to it.

 

Was literally just thinking the same thing after reading through this, maybe because i'm only 21 the many times i've been hurt both emotionally and physically by a man don't count. If you want to be truly 'sisterly', whatever that means, have a go at the man who treated you and your family like ****, not the single woman, who most likely didn't even know he was married / had a family.

[cheekychimp 10]

I've not read the entire post, but its simply wrong to flirt with a married man, especially if that man has children.

 

If young women are wanting to try out their flirting skills, then why not flirt with a man who is single. Who knows what you might uncover? the shy computer geek, could become the very man you want him to be if you press the right buttons.

 

But leave married men alone.

 

Remember, if you break a marrage, you could cause greater damage to innocent children who do not deserve that.

 

I may flirt with older men at work, so what, i don't care if they are married or not because i am never going to take it any further than that, it's harmless fun and just the way that i am, my boyfriend has no problem with that, so i cannot understand for the life of me why anyone else would.

 

You seem to be assuming that because i flirt with someone i want to drag them into bed, which is simply not true in any way, shape or form.

[EdnaKrabappe 14]

Apportioning blame is difficult though as you never know what the facts are... did the woman completely come on to your bloke, did she even know he was attached?

 

I say this as i got involved with an attached man, he told me him and his partner had been split two years but were still amicable because of their kids. So therefore i thought he wasn't.

 

First of all we were internet friends, then it lead somewhere and eventually we met and things seemed great and we started seeing each other. He introduced me to some of his friends so i had no reason to doubt him. He made no secret of time spent with his ex as far as i could tell.

 

Then he told me she'd found out about us, thrown a wobbler and although they weren't together we'd have to cool it for a while as it "wasn't fair on me" We agreed not to see each other for a month. Bearing in mind i thought he was separated i agreed to this but it was difficult and i missed him. We both broke "curfew" a few times as well, just chatting, he wanted to come and stay but i said no.

 

Anyway just after curfew had gone and he was more or less proclaiming undying love to me, I stumbled on his ex's myspace.... oh my god ... it was like looking at a five year older version of myself! :oShe was a lovely person, obviously very happy and content with her life and no idea i existed!!!! I decided not to contact him. A day or so later he sent me a very chitchatty message to which i replied yes I'm "herusername" thanks.

 

He then sent me a message saying he was sorry he'd lied to me but they were breaking up and he loved me.... blah blah blah. I got a number of messages like this for the next few months and there were times i was tempted to see him, I'd fallen deeply for him and i admit to drunk or daft texting a few times myself but my instinct kicked in and my morals and eventually the drunk texting on both parts stopped.

 

They've since got married and I don't think she ever knew about me. I don't know what I'd/she'd gain by telling her and I dunno whether he'd done it before or has since... they seem happy enough now and I'm glad he's not my problem.

 

BTW I'm not claiming that I'm young, just younger than he was!