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Warning: Do not sandpaper your teeth

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At the weekend I started a thread asking "Can you sandpaper your teeth?" which received some interesting responses.

 

Well this morning I visited my dentist and had the tooth filled and smoothed out and, as I'd just missed the train to work, nipped home for a bit and put the TV on.

 

Shortly after that some commercial for an ambulance-chasing compensation company came on, showing some dopey woman tripping over a piece of plastic, a bloke falling off a ladder and a woman saying that if you'd had an accident that wasn't your fault you could sue the person responsible.

 

Now I'm no legal expert but it's possible that someone might have read my thread, tried sandpapering their teeth and done themselves some damage. They might then see this advert, ring up that company and say "I've just scoured half my mouth off because my tooth was too sharp and Basil said it was okay. I want to sue him now to pay for thousands of pounds worth of reconstructive plastic surgery."

 

To avoid such an unlikely but not impossible eventuality, I would just like to advise that you should not, under any circumstances, sandpaper your teeth, your partner's, your dog's or anyone else's who asks, however nicely.

 

Attempting to sandpaper your teeth may well damage the enamel which does not grow back and will make your teeth weaker and liable to infection. You also run the risk of swallowing the dust which may be poisonous and, if you slip, you may well cut yourself. The cut will probably become infected, your mouth could have to be amputated and you'll spend the rest of your life having to be fed through your nose.

 

So - don't sandpaper your teeth - it's not worth the risk.

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At the weekend I started a thread asking "Can you sandpaper your teeth?" which received some interesting responses.

 

Well this morning I visited my dentist and had the tooth filled and smoothed out and, as I'd just missed the train to work, nipped home for a bit and put the TV on.

 

Shortly after that some commercial for an ambulance-chasing compensation company came on, showing some dopey woman tripping over a piece of plastic, a bloke falling off a ladder and a woman saying that if you'd had an accident that wasn't your fault you could sue the person responsible.

 

Now I'm no legal expert but it's possible that someone might have read my thread, tried sandpapering their teeth and done themselves some damage. They might then see this advert, ring up that company and say "I've just scoured half my mouth off because my tooth was too sharp and Basil said it was okay. I want to sue him now to pay for thousands of pounds worth of reconstructive plastic surgery."

 

To avoid such an unlikely but not impossible eventuality, I would just like to advise that you should not, under any circumstances, sandpaper your teeth, your partner's, your dog's or anyone else's who asks, however nicely.

 

Attempting to sandpaper your teeth may well damage the enamel which does not grow back and will make your teeth weaker and liable to infection. You also run the risk of swallowing the dust which may be poisonous and, if you slip, you may well cut yourself. The cut will probably become infected, your mouth could have to be amputated and you'll spend the rest of your life having to be fed through your nose.

 

So - don't sandpaper your teeth - it's not worth the risk.

 

Ok then, I'll just stick to drying my dog in the microwave.

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So- and this is purely hypothetical, but if... lets say if a certain someone was caught in the night sandpapering someone ELSES teeth... would they be liable or would I... I mean THEY be able to put the blame on your other thread?

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At the weekend I started a thread asking "Can you sandpaper your teeth?" which received some interesting responses.

 

Well this morning I visited my dentist and had the tooth filled and smoothed out and, as I'd just missed the train to work, nipped home for a bit and put the TV on.

 

Shortly after that some commercial for an ambulance-chasing compensation company came on, showing some dopey woman tripping over a piece of plastic, a bloke falling off a ladder and a woman saying that if you'd had an accident that wasn't your fault you could sue the person responsible.

 

Now I'm no legal expert but it's possible that someone might have read my thread, tried sandpapering their teeth and done themselves some damage. They might then see this advert, ring up that company and say "I've just scoured half my mouth off because my tooth was too sharp and Basil said it was okay. I want to sue him now to pay for thousands of pounds worth of reconstructive plastic surgery."

 

To avoid such an unlikely but not impossible eventuality, I would just like to advise that you should not, under any circumstances, sandpaper your teeth, your partner's, your dog's or anyone else's who asks, however nicely.

 

Attempting to sandpaper your teeth may well damage the enamel which does not grow back and will make your teeth weaker and liable to infection. You also run the risk of swallowing the dust which may be poisonous and, if you slip, you may well cut yourself. The cut will probably become infected, your mouth could have to be amputated and you'll spend the rest of your life having to be fed through your nose.

 

So - don't sandpaper your teeth - it's not worth the risk.

 

 

Yeah yeah yeah. Tell it to Irwin Mitchell. They'll be in touch shortly;)

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Wise words, young Basil, but far too late to offer this revised opinion in my case, I/m afraid.

 

I will recieve every penny that is due to me - you have been warned. :rant:

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Leth thuppoth thomeone inadvertently thandpapered her tongue while trying to thandpaper her teeth, bathed on Bathil's terrible advithe. Parthial thettlement, perhapth?

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