Wayneos   10 #25 Posted September 3, 2008 Amazed you can make such judgements of someone because they aren't prepared to just leave their child with any old tom, dick or harry...being pregnant yourself, may I ask, when your little one is born would you be prepared to just cast them aside to anyone? Maybe some of the people on here are those that are described as 'career bitches' where the career comes first and family comes next or in some cases, last. I however am not one and my daughter comes very much first, personally I can't believe I'm being judged on that fact alone!!!  Sure, there are nurseries that I could put her in, I wasn't sure of this until a few people have mentioned it as I would have thought she would need to be registered, any necessary paperwork be filled out etc etc (Loop holes & all), does it seem impossible that maybe we don't already have a nursery for her or a regular childminder, she is afterall only 22mths, we don't pop kids out for the fun of it and then think, damn that thing is going to get in the way of my career, cast her aside and get on with life, on the other hand we don't pop them out for all the free benefits we could get (I know no one has brought this up yet but S.F. being what it is, I'm sure there are one or two floaters just waiting for the opportunity) we just had our daughter as planned, brought her up until now by ourselves working around her and give her the love only a parent can give, I wont apologise for that, that's what we decided we would do and done it, yes I do want this job, I want any job TBH and will do whatever it takes to get it, I merely came on here for advice really about the consequences of arriving at the interview with daughter in tow, not to be judged by people who clearly don't know me, have never been in my situation or are just simply here to look for an argument...  PS: Thanks Aries but as I've said, and no offence meant I don't know your daughter in law and wouldn't have time to in the morning, but really, thank you Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
cosywolf   10 #26 Posted September 3, 2008 What am I supposed to apologise for being a protective parent? Guess what, not gonna happen... Thanks for the advice though I'll bear it in mind.  Actually I was thinking either overprotective, or not really fussed about the job. In the case of option 1, which your posts seem to favour: take the child with you, by all means, but honestly, they will look upon you much more favourably if you tell them first.  As for your defensiveness, which is starting to get a little on the nasty side, you asked for help and people here are trying to help. Taking suggestions of nursery or any other type of childcare as a personal attack is a little on the harsh side...exactly what kind of suggestions were you wanting? Choices are a little limited. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
arachnophobe   10 #27 Posted September 3, 2008 Amazed you can make such judgements of someone because they aren't prepared to just leave their child with any old tom, dick or harry...being pregnant yourself, may I ask, when your little one is born would you be prepared to just cast them aside to anyone? Maybe some of the people on here are those that are described as 'career bitches' where the career comes first and family comes next or in some cases, last. I however am not one and my daughter comes very much first, personally I can't believe I'm being judged on that fact alone!!! Sure, there are nurseries that I could put her in, I wasn't sure of this until a few people have mentioned it as I would have thought she would need to be registered, any necessary paperwork be filled out etc etc (Loop holes & all), does it seem impossible that maybe we don't already have a nursery for her or a regular childminder, she is afterall only 22mths, we don't pop kids out for the fun of it and then think, damn that thing is going to get in the way of my career, cast her aside and get on with life, on the other hand we don't pop them out for all the free benefits we could get (I know no one has brought this up yet but S.F. being what it is, I'm sure there are one or two floaters just waiting for the opportunity) we just had our daughter as planned, brought her up until now by ourselves working around her and give her the love only a parent can give, I wont apologise for that, that's what we decided we would do and done it, yes I do want this job, I want any job TBH and will do whatever it takes to get it, I merely came on here for advice really about the consequences of arriving at the interview with daughter in tow, not to be judged by people who clearly don't know me, have never been in my situation or are just simply here to look for an argument...  PS: Thanks Aries but as I've said, and no offence meant I don't know your daughter in law and wouldn't have time to in the morning, but really, thank you   Then you should have made that clear in the OP. It comes across as asking something totally different from what I've highlighted above. People are only trying to help and you have been downright rude to a lot of them, some of whom I'm sure have been in situations similar to yours, yet you act like you're the only one. Stop bleating and get a grip. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
rothschild   10 #28 Posted September 3, 2008 Well I think that everybody responding to this thread has done so in a posative way. Each has tried to suggest a solution to your problem and none of them have been satisfactory. Your choices are limited given that you don't want to leave your daughter with anybody at such short notice. That's fair enough and is your choice. That really does only leave 2 options though. Either turn up to the interview with your daughter (preferably after checking that this option would be ok with your prospective employer), or having your partner take time off from her employment for a short while either through fair means of foul. I do hope that you managed to sort something out though, and if you do get to the interview.........Good luck. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Wayneos   10 #29 Posted September 4, 2008 I don't mean to be un-grateful for everyone's suggestion of childcare, I appreciate the advice, afterall that is what I asked for, it's the way in which people are saying I'm wrong in not choosing to do so, like you say it's my choice, do I not have that right?  Anyway, the thread has come to an abrupt end and there seems only 2 choices, go with daughter (Like you say, after clearing this) or not go at all, obviously with the way jobs are going these days, preferably not the latter...  Thanks all Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
rothschild   10 #30 Posted September 4, 2008 I don't think people are saying you are wrong Wayneos. I think you might be panicking a bit and who could blame you. I would willingly look after your little girl but I would be afraid to offer just in case I wasn't up to it. I have only had four of my own and my darling grandson might just tell you not to trust granny because he wants her all to himself. lol. I said either go with daughter or have partner take a bit of time off......you seem to have avoided that option. Good luck whatever you choose. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Ms Macbeth   70 #31 Posted September 4, 2008 I don't mean to be un-grateful for everyone's suggestion of childcare, I appreciate the advice, afterall that is what I asked for, it's the way in which people are saying I'm wrong in not choosing to do so, like you say it's my choice, do I not have that right? Anyway, the thread has come to an abrupt end and there seems only 2 choices, go with daughter (Like you say, after clearing this) or not go at all, obviously with the way jobs are going these days, preferably not the latter...  Thanks all  I would have thought there were 3 realistic choices, the third being your partner looking after your little girl so you could go to interview. Its a shame if her employers aren't flexible enough to either let her a) take annual leave, or b) just swap her hours around. As rothschild mentioned, you don't seem to be considering this as an option - yet for most of us it would be the most obvious choice. And I've been a working parent, long before flexible working and family friendly policies were introduced!  Good luck with the interview whatever your decision. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Wayneos   10 #32 Posted September 4, 2008 She works for the NHS and they are very strict with her hours, I have begged and begged for her to ask and she refuses...  Turns out though that she got there at 7 this morn' asked and was allowed to swap shifts, result eh. I wasn't avoiding it, it was obviously my 1st choice but she told me it was damn near impossible. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
cosywolf   10 #33 Posted September 4, 2008 well, best of luck with the interview then. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
H.P Â Â 10 #34 Posted September 4, 2008 ............................ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
Ms Macbeth   70 #35 Posted September 4, 2008 She works for the NHS and they are very strict with her hours, I have begged and begged for her to ask and she refuses... Turns out though that she got there at 7 this morn' asked and was allowed to swap shifts, result eh. I wasn't avoiding it, it was obviously my 1st choice but she told me it was damn near impossible.  Good result, now relax and get into the right mindset for your interview. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...
anniec   10 #36 Posted September 4, 2008 yes good luck with the interview. Also i don't think my previous post in anyway suggested you just leave your daughter "with just anyone" nor would I (i am no longer preg my baby is 5months) I think you have been really defensive for nothing really.  I hope you get the job. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Share this content via...