Farting. Is it really that serious? Share your stories!

[Spaulding 10]

Does nobody remember I've Farted by Ivor Biggun and the Rednobs?It was a brilliant song about farting, and for years was my "party piece" when ******.You even got sound effects.He also did I'm A ******

[parcher 10]

Oh gosh! I was supposed to be switching off the computer and knocking off for the night and I have just discovered this thread! Hilarious!

 

My first other half and I went strawberry picking once. As we worked along our line of strawberries, we started to notice a distinct country smell. Then, we realised that everytime the bloke on the line ahead of us bent down to pick a strawberry, he was letting one rip! Hubby and I had a hell of a job keeping a straight face after that.

 

We had a cat too who was a fart spotter. If she detected one in the house, she would go up to each person, sniff round them and when she discovered the culprit, she would first try to bury the evidence (very painful) and if all else failed, she would sit in front of the culprit, doing her impression of a bog brush and snarl at them! I developed very powerful buttock muscles as a result of her!

[Kristian 11]

Originally posted by parcher

Oh gosh! I was supposed to be switching off the computer and knocking off for the night and I have just discovered this thread! Hilarious!

 

My first other half and I went strawberry picking once. As we worked along our line of strawberries, we started to notice a distinct country smell. Then, we realised that everytime the bloke on the line ahead of us bent down to pick a strawberry, he was letting one rip! Hubby and I had a hell of a job keeping a straight face after that.

 

We had a cat too who was a fart spotter. If she detected one in the house, she would go up to each person, sniff round them and when she discovered the culprit, she would first try to bury the evidence (very painful) and if all else failed, she would sit in front of the culprit, doing her impression of a bog brush and snarl at them! I developed very powerful buttock muscles as a result of her!

 

A trump sniffing cat? It's a shame 'That's Life' has ended! Can you imagine the look it would have had from Esther Rancid? (sic)

[parcher 10]

Even funnier would have been having to demonstrate the cats powers in front of a bunch of cameramen and an audience!

[Draggletail 58]

I have inadvertently discovered a treasury of fart related wisdom, pages of gems like this

 

Is it possible for a fart to kill you?

" A great many of you have asked if farts can be fatal, or if you can die from smelling a particularly bad fart. My initial response to this question was "no," but I thought I'd better ask a doctor. So now it is official, the medical opinion I received is no, a fart can't kill you.

However, if you really work hard at it, you can manage to kill yourself with just about anything. I recently read of a man who hooked up his nose to his anus with a system involving a gas mask, rubber tubing and a hollow wooden post. He died of suffocation. This story comes from the Darwin Awards, and I personally cannot attest to the overall veracity of their stories

 

Other greats are:

 

Why are stinky farts generally warmer and quieter than regular farts?

 

How long does it take fart gas to travel to someone else's nose?

 

Where do farts go when you hold them in?

 

Get these and lots more here

 

Enjoy

[Kristian 11]

Originally posted by Draggletail

I have inadvertently discovered a treasury of fart related wisdom, pages of gems like this

 

 

 

Other greats are:

 

 

 

Get these and lots more here

 

Enjoy

 

What a fab site DT! Me likey already!

 

K x

[Strix 11]

But there was a case of a portly male found dead in his bed a few years ago. The cause of death was determined as methane poisoning, and he was identified as the only source for said methane

 

Not sure where to start looking for evidence of this absurd tale

[Draggletail 58]

Originally posted by Kristian

What a fab site DT! Me likey already!

 

K x

 

Just discovered this one from the same source...

Is it possible to capture a fart in a jar and save it for later use?

 

Tears streaming down my face with laughter, gotta go get a tissue and blow me nose :

 

It's all he sort of stuff you thought about as a kid really

 

isn't it?

[Hels 10]

Where I used to work I'd leave for the day in the lift. As the lift reached the ground floor, I'd regularly 'drop one' and then leave ... only for the next poor person to pick up the lift and gag

 

If I have to let one go when i'm in the supermarket. I stand next to someone, drop it, then clear off down another isle and watch the faces of the people passing by the other person!

 

My cat was asleep on my bed, I let one go and the cat 'meeoowed' loudly and jumped off the bed in search of fresh air....

[Draggletail 58]

You're evil, Hels :D

[Grim 10]

Originally posted by Strix

But there was a case of a portly male found dead in his bed a few years ago. The cause of death was determined as methane poisoning, and he was identified as the only source for said methane

 

Not sure where to start looking for evidence of this absurd tale

 

This is an urban legend, methane is non toxic (although obviously if you were breathing only methane you'ld die of asphyxiation). I think it's on darwin awards as well.

[ReginaldD 10]

Farting- it can be a laugh with mates but I find the woman don't find it as funny when i've being brewing a loud one! :hihi: